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to think my neighbours are being ridiculous.

(107 Posts)
ThatVikRinA22 Mon 18-Feb-13 22:02:45

a few months ago my adjoining neighbour put up half a fence between our two gardens.
its half a fence. its his boundary so i have left him to it, although i did tell him that we were going to be completely revamping out garden and wall and i would have done the fence - but it is his boundary so thats fine. i thought.

now we are having our drive block paved and my front garden landscaped and a new fence up.

neighbours have suddenly decided that they have put their fence up in the wrong place and that the boundary is in our favour by about 6 inches.

they have gone and complained to my builders that they block paved up to their fence when their fence is in the wrong place.....

the point is they fucking well put the fence there!!! not me! i couldnt give a toss if they want another 6 inches of garden - they are welcome to it but now it means that my paving stops short of the fence and looks bloody stupid.....

how should i broach this?

they are inconsiderate bastards at best - when i begin any work i always let the neighbours know out of courtesy - they have just spent the last 5 weeks banging and drilling having a new kitchen fitted (yes - 5 weeks!!! to fit a kitchen!!!) and i work shifts - including nights. they dont give a shit.

im actually really angry about all this but i have to live adjoining them and dont want to start a ridiculous neighbour dispute....

my garden is costing alot of money - and their stupidity is ruining the finish. they say they are moving the fence - but when??? after tomorrow my garden will be finished - they have had plenty of time to move it if they wanted to.

im actually seething inwardly.

HermioneHatesHoovering Sun 24-Feb-13 02:13:38

Make sure when you take photos of the drive that they have the date stamped on them!

ZebraOwl Sun 24-Feb-13 01:29:18

Maybe you should make it an electric fence...

Flisspaps Sun 24-Feb-13 01:07:31

Go Vicar!

Fuck 'em!

Grockle Sat 23-Feb-13 16:53:21

Good for you Vicar. I think you're doing the right thing. I hope it all looks lovely.

Make sure you bolt the door & open some wine.

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 23-Feb-13 12:37:35

well ive had the landscapers back today - im going to stick a 6ft fence up and bollocks to them - not having it all the way down so they can still get in and out of their car - but others have done the same on the street, so going to do it and be damned. That way we get privacy from both sets of fuckwits

(going to sort the stupid half fence at the other side too. then im going to shut my door and hide. i may well be off their xmas card list. )

WhatKindofFool Fri 22-Feb-13 17:02:06

What magichouse says.

Coconutty Fri 22-Feb-13 16:47:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Fri 22-Feb-13 16:30:50

That sounds like an excellent plan!

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 22-Feb-13 12:11:19

actually peppermint thats a good idea - Neighbour 2 reckons he is a solicitor but is also an actor (!!???) and also does surveys for houses etc etc and is a complete and utter know it all. Reckons he got his grandson out of police custody with a nod and a wink because he 'knows people' - i think he is a complete fantasist.

i might just ask them for a surveyors report to substantiate their claim that my drive is going to cause damage to theirs - and when they are next out im going to take photos of their drive - its broken and sunken and cracked - as ours was before the makeover as they were built at the same time in 1964. Their drive is knackered already and was long before i moved here and long before we did this work.

My builder is really loathe to do anything more since we have accommodated their wishes in the first place.

undercoverhousewife Fri 22-Feb-13 10:38:39

Peppermint makes a good point. Say to Neighbour 2 that you have listened to their concerns and don't quite understand (you don't!) and can they please provide you with a surveyor's opinion so you can consider the matter properly. They will never get one and you have shown willing.

Don't antagonise either side btw It's not worth it. But also, I agree about not pandering to them as both sets of neighbours seem to be unreasonable and will demand more and more. Be civil, polite and do your own sweet thing :-) You sound lovely.

comingintomyown Fri 22-Feb-13 10:29:06

Neighbour 1 : Erect your own fence , to your own (legal) specification as it sounds like his will be an eyesore either way

Neighbour 2 : Completely ignore

What a pair of fuckers you have the misfortune to live next door to but really, stop worrying and dont spend a penny more that isnt for your benefit

saintlyjimjams Fri 22-Feb-13 10:13:06

Oh I've missed pages. Can you move and let some other poor sod live next door to the fuckers.

saintlyjimjams Fri 22-Feb-13 10:10:06

Tell him that's fine but he'll have to pay builders of your choice.

What a total twat.

PeppermintPasty Fri 22-Feb-13 10:06:14

If you came to me for legal advice wrt shittyneighbour2 I would advise you to do nothing to accommodate them as they are in the wrong. Your plans for your drive are well thought out and well executed, from what you've said on here. I've never heard such a load of bollocks about one drive supporting another. If they think that, they will have to spend some money on a surveyor to back up their spurious argument.

maddening Fri 22-Feb-13 10:04:43

I would just do whatever you want - what's the point in pandering to fuckwits?

ophelia275 Fri 22-Feb-13 09:42:28

I think you are making it worse for yourself by worrying so much about being nice to your neighbours. I personally would refuse to pay for any corrections to things on my own land as it is not your fault they changed their mind. I don't think you will have an easier life or be friends with your neighbours if you make endless changes for them at your cost. They will just think you are a pushover and expect you to do more and more and treat you like rubbish. I think you should be really really wary of that as in the long run, doing what they want will just cause you more stress than being firm and saying "no" now. It is not like you are being unreasonable. Just make sure you are legally in the right and then say if they want x or y on their land then they can pay for it themselves.

Catchingmockingbirds Fri 22-Feb-13 09:29:46

Stick your fence up and ignore them, they'll moan no matter what you do so you may aswell just do what you want.

BlatantLies Fri 22-Feb-13 09:25:18

If you do put up a fence don't forget to paint 'their' side bright orange, or zebra, or purple with green spots or whatever takes your fancy...... smile

At the very least let them have the unattractive 'back' side of the fence.

PessaryPam Fri 22-Feb-13 08:59:05

vicar just say you can't afford it now you have done what they first requested. Ask them to pay for further alterations. They will then decide it's not that important. If that fails go for some good old fashioned police harassment!

ShipwreckedAndComatose Fri 22-Feb-13 08:48:10

Oh op! Just read this and feel your pain sad

You need new neighbours!

Some people can never be happy and so I think you need to stop trying to make them happy. If they don't like it, they can fix it!!

Coconutty Fri 22-Feb-13 08:45:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

undercoverhousewife Fri 22-Feb-13 08:34:31

Poor you, Vicar. It will pass though. In the grand scheme of things, please try not to let these issues bother you (easier said than done). Do your best to keep everyone happy - as you have done - then enjoy your lovely new garden and drive.

You did the right thing with neighbour 1 - plans on deeds of boundaries are only guides rather than definitive, and a half way point between the two houses sounds like it is indeed the correct boundary position. Chuck some pretty flowers in the 6 inch gap if soil, otherwise a nice strip of gravel.

As for neighbour 2, I would ignore them. It's a shame you asked them about the fence posts rather than inform them you would be lifting them but that's spilt milk now. They are being unreasonable. Be polite to them but non committal and leave it however you want it. There is no such thing as a legal right to support for your drive.

AgathaF Fri 22-Feb-13 08:21:42

vicar you need to stop accommodating them. They won't thank you for it, they won't be happy with it, so what's the point?

They'll get over it in their own time.

Still think big prickly bushes though grin

CleopatrasAsp Fri 22-Feb-13 01:03:35

donnasummer, some people are just bloody pathetic.

vicar I think you've been too nice actually, the problem with people like this is that they start pushing boundaries - pardon the terrible pun grin - and before you know it you are running every arseing thing possible past them for their approval. Sometimes, when you say 'no' people are less inclined to hassle you in the future, they tend to bank on 'nice' people backing down in order not to cause a fuss. I think that for neighbour one I would have asked them to prove the boundary or shut the fuck up (though I would have said this in a more pleasant way obviously). Neighbour two I wouldn't have consulted at all and would just have done what I was legally allowed to do in the first place and removed the post - but hindsight is a wonderful thing I suppose!

donnasummer Thu 21-Feb-13 23:51:46

just check the height of your fence carefully if you do go for a big one, anythin over a certain height requires planning permission (and I know this because MY neighbours went out with a tape measure the day after I replaced our chicken wire boundary with a lovely solid fence. The land is flat is flat and then slopes down and the fence follows the slope, to accomodate the slope meant that at one point it was 1.5 inches longer than the required height from top to bottom, even though the top of the fence was following the downhill slope iyswim. They reported me and I had to get retrospective planning permission at the cost of £150).

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