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Can I go to the police with this? Facebook related.

(99 Posts)
Altinkum Mon 18-Feb-13 03:38:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BadLad Mon 18-Feb-13 03:45:54

Not a matter for the police, as far as I can see. Unless I missed something, all she has done is posted something rather unpleasant.

What crime are you thinking she has committed?

BelindaCarlisle Mon 18-Feb-13 03:47:23


Selba Mon 18-Feb-13 03:47:23

How incredibly hurtful of her.
No, it's not a matter for the police.
She has done a good job of publicly making herself look like a complete arse.

Altinkum Mon 18-Feb-13 03:51:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 18-Feb-13 03:52:28

Darlin', you're rightfully very angry. That accident was utterly horrific, and had a devastated effect on your family, and to read a comment that tells you that she has always sort of thought that you/your husband was to blame must hurt incredibly.

But no, it's not a crime - there's no threat to you. At the very most it might be defamation, which is a civil offence, but I don't think you'd get very far.

The woman may well be an utter cow. But you can't ask for her to be removed from teaching duties because she's said something vile about you. If you want to send her a message saying "I honestly can't express how hurt, disguseted and angry hat this has been said about us and so publicly also - I consider this utterly unforgivable and I never, ever want to speak to you again" that's reasonable. But the rest of it...sorry. I know she's a cow. But YABU.

BelindaCarlisle Mon 18-Feb-13 03:52:37

Turn off the Facebook.

BadLad Mon 18-Feb-13 03:58:58

Just be thankful she has outed herself as a piece of turd and you now know better than to waste a single breath on her ever again.

If a mutual friend didn't recognise that it was about you, then you presumably weren't named in the message, so I think you are unlikely to get very far making a complaint.

anonymosity Mon 18-Feb-13 04:03:59

I agree, turn off the facebook. If she unfriended you perhaps you can block her "feed" or something. Facebook is the devil, really, for friendships and misunderstandings.

Altinkum Mon 18-Feb-13 04:09:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buzzardbird Mon 18-Feb-13 04:10:04

You can report the post on fb and there is a box to tick to say it is a personal attack on you. There is also a box to ask her to remove the offensive post.

Altinkum Mon 18-Feb-13 04:11:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buzzardbird Mon 18-Feb-13 04:11:54

Ah sorry, cross posted there. Good for you.

ripsishere Mon 18-Feb-13 04:13:04

I don't know your backstory, it sounds horrific.
I agree with the idea of turning off the FB though. It causes so many disagreements and hurt feelings. I don't have it. DD does.
Badbird has 100% sensible advice.

ripsishere Mon 18-Feb-13 04:13:23

sorry buzzard bird.

BadLad Mon 18-Feb-13 04:15:26


Buzzardbird, do you and I have a kid that I don't know about?

Altinkum Mon 18-Feb-13 04:19:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 18-Feb-13 04:25:31

Yes, I remember you saying that it's put huge strain on the marriage, I felt so awful for you when I read that.

I hope FB removes it. And again, I'm so sorry for you.

Kytti Mon 18-Feb-13 04:31:19

The woman is clearly a complete cow, but I don't think it's illegal.

At school however, you could try talking to the head about the problems your family personally have, and ask if either she helps in another class or that your child has no contact with her. I'd not think that was an outrageous request, considering her public attack and clearly disgraceful belief.

(You know she doesn't believe that btw, she's just being a bitch to try to hurt you.)

Big hugs. xxx

FellatioNels0n Mon 18-Feb-13 04:43:54

I remember that accident happening to your DH and DS, Altinkum. I don't think it is a matter for the police quite honestly, what a vile, spiteful, wicked cowbag she sounds and you are better off for having her out of your life.

Right. Firstly, you probably should not have said what you said on her fb page about the hospital. You disagree on how good/bad it is. You've based it on your experiences, and she on hers. People rant about stuff that annoys them every day on fb and if I typed my thoughts every time I disagreed with one of my friends I'd have no friends left. Besides, that's what Mumsnet is for. winkgrin

She hasn't named or accused you directly so there is little you can do. However, I might consider going to the Head at school and explaining (calmly and as briefly as possible) what has happened.

I don't think the school can necessarily have an opinion on what she does/says in her personal life, and they certainly cannot get involved in every silly spat between parents. However, I do think they should be aware that she is making these veiled accusations, because who is to say that she won't start trying to drip-feed bits of damaging and inaccurate information about what happened to your DS to the teachers? If she is capable of saying what she said to you on fb then she is capable of spiteful manipulative gossip in school, and at the school gate as well. You can't expect them to actually do anything, but as a self-preservation measure it would not hurt to make them aware. And to just ask the class teacher to keep an eye on her interaction with your child to make sure she is not acting unprofessionally with him to get back at you.

And I would send her a short, dignified PRIVATE MESSAGE back, saying you have been hurt beyond belief by what she has said, and that is perhaps for the best that your friendship is over, as you clearly have very different ideas about how to handle minor disagreements.

Buzzardbird Mon 18-Feb-13 05:36:23

badlad sssshh! Was trying to keep babybird outa this.

I would actually not want the idiot around my child at school either but that is your call really. I would drop into conversation a little hint of a law suit for defamation of character just to make her shut the hell up with her stupid accusations.

FellatioNels0n Mon 18-Feb-13 05:39:59

But unless she has named her specifically there really is nothing Altinkum can do.

Buzzardbird Mon 18-Feb-13 05:44:40

She may not necessarily know that though wink

Yamyoid Mon 18-Feb-13 05:49:24

So sorry to hear what you've been through.
If she's a volunteer teaching assistant maybe they could move her to another class?

Collaborate Mon 18-Feb-13 06:47:39

I disagree with those who suggest the school can do nothing. It is gross misconduct. Print the comment off and take it to the head, demanding action.

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