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That anyone can provide a decent home education for their child

(227 Posts)
akaemmafrost Sun 17-Feb-13 20:06:20

If they are inclined to?

I have no choice but to HE ds, he has multiple SN and is unable to function in any of our local schools.

Every single time I tell someone I get shock hmm or a mixture of both. Nine times out of ten I am asked if I am a teacher? No, I am not.

With access to a library and Internet AIBU to believe that anyone who is inclined to do so can provide a decent Home Education for their child?

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now, why the shock, judgement and sometimes downright horror whenever I tell anyone I HE? Is it really so scary and unbelievable that I can provide this to ds without being formally trained?

It seems to provoke incredibly strong opinions, even from complete strangers, which they feel they must strenuously share with me usually. So just wondering really as I can never really ask them.

Panzee Sun 17-Feb-13 22:44:14

What if the parent has special needs themselves?
I agree that lots of people could home educate, but clearly not just anyone.

MrsBradleyJames Sun 17-Feb-13 22:44:48

It's lovely your dd has benefitted so muchfrom school jinsei. I guess really there are as many answers to this debate as there are children! Having seen the damage done to my son by school, I just know HE for him will be the education that provides that breadth and richness - certainly that isnt what he's got from school, wquite the opposite unfortunately.

mummymeister Sun 17-Feb-13 22:45:43

No i could not teach my teenage DC's at home. but then neither would i take their tonsils out or sew up a wound because i am not qualified for that either. I can just about understand home ed up to 11 when if you are reasonably intelligent it can be done. but after that - ime which is in no way limited i know well over a dozen home educating families, the kids get taught what their parents are interested in or know about and do not get as broad a curriculum as they could at school. however the real issue for me is social skills. In an ideal world people could go to uni, get better jobs etc based on what they are able to show at interview. in the real world bits of paper showing qualifications are needed and i seriously worry that a lot of home ed kids miss out on the kind of opportunities their intelligent parents had because of an ideology. flame me, post examples of kids with 37 GCSE's who were home educated but i wont change my mind.

ReallyTired Sun 17-Feb-13 22:48:36

The few home ed children I have met had all had good manners. Plenty of children who go to school have no social skills.

MrsBradleyJames Sun 17-Feb-13 23:21:08

But HE as far as I see it is about facilitating education not about teaching it all. Most HE families I know are mixing time at home with clubs, classes, tutors, etc. And HE kids are out there in the real world learning social skills with all ages while our schooled kids are sequestered away in rooms with a limited number of peers who they remain with for years. HE kids get those pieces of paper when it suits them, whether that is age 13, 16 or whenever. Lots and lots of kids leave school without useful bits of paper...and that thing of a broad curriculum...well again ee are conditioned to think thus ideal but it isnt alwaysm for everyone. HE gives you a precious chance to forge your own path and to specialise as and when you are ready. Funnily enough was just reading an article about a young woman who is a wardrobe mistress for film and national theatre - got into top uni on portfolio, didnt need 10 gcses in a broad range - just needed to be able to focus on her talents. Which isnt to say that HE kidscant get that broad range. I think HE is great, for those who want it and suit it. Thank goodness it is a legal option in this country.

MrsBradleyJames Sun 17-Feb-13 23:22:43

Sorry about my typing - on tablet!

5madthings Sun 17-Feb-13 23:29:44

I know a few adults who were home educated and never went to school, they still did exams and went to good units, it is entirely possible but it depends on the adults and the children.

I home educated ds1 until he was 9 and ds2until he was 6.we ask ways planned that they would probably go yo high school and circumstances meant they started school when they did, they have integrated fine and are now 13 and 10 and are doing brilliantly.

5madthings Sun 17-Feb-13 23:30:19

Unis not units!

TheFallenMadonna Sun 17-Feb-13 23:31:10

I do like the "provide me with evidence and I still won't believe you" argument!

seeker Sun 17-Feb-13 23:36:00

I think most people could. Whether some people should is another question.

MrsBradleyJames Sun 17-Feb-13 23:43:25

Yes I love that too TFM! Provide me with the evidence, and I will ignore it!!! Heh.

HerrenaHarridan Mon 18-Feb-13 00:05:30

The dreaded words " I haven't read the full thread but..."
A) I will in morn
B) I absolutely have to interrupt with a very important fact.

Did you know what it was a home educated child who set up the open university?
Funny that smile

Jinsei Mon 18-Feb-13 00:17:16

It's lovely your dd has benefitted so muchfrom school jinsei. I guess really there are as many answers to this debate as there are children!

Well, yes, I think that's it really, isn't it? Not all schools are the same. Not all children are the same. And not all parents are the same either.

We have been hugely fortunate with dd's school, she is blissfully happy there and making fantastic progress. Her teachers are tremendously talented, caring and dedicated. DD loves learning, has made lots of friends and is maturing into a very kind, broadminded and responsible young person. smile

But I know some children don't adapt to school so easily, and don't learn so well in the classroom environment. I know that some children can be very unhappy at school. Some teachers aren't very good. And some schools aren't as positive and nurturing as ours. If we were facing that situation, I guess I'd feel very differently about HE right now, and about my ability to give dd the best education.

At the end of the day, I suppose we should all be grateful that we have a

Morloth Mon 18-Feb-13 01:14:17

I certainly could provide a good HE if I was so inclined.

However I dont believe I could do better then our school and I have no inclination to try.

If I did believe it woukd be better for my kids to HE them, then I would.

mathanxiety Mon 18-Feb-13 01:39:58

I could too, and I taught DD3(14) maths when it became obvious that her teacher when she was aged 12/13/14 actually didn't know one thing about beginning algebra.

I don't think DD3 or any of the others would benefit socially or emotionally by being taught by me at home, however. I think there is a lot to be gained from being among your peers, getting the sharp edges knocked off, learning to function in a group.

(US universities have applicable boxes in their admissions applications for HE children to fill in in the educational background sections. Unless HE takes place for secessionist/anti gummint/anti godless public school reasons in the US it tends to be done to maximise a child's chances of getting to Harvard/Yale, etc.)

ripsishere Mon 18-Feb-13 02:24:47

I know I couldn't provide anywhere near the level of teaching DD gets at school.
Also, it would drive me to distraction having her at home all the time.
Fair play to those who do choose to HE their DC for whatever reason. It's just not for me.

wordfactory Mon 18-Feb-13 07:36:45

I think when HE is done well, it can be a wonderful thing for the DC.
I am a huge supporter of HE.

I think it gets tricky when DC get older and need specialist help to make headway in a subject. The internet might not be your friend here. Especially those DC who have their sights set on ambitious careers that are going to require formal qualifications. This requires both child and parents to really up their game, indeed to accept that there is a game.

havingamadmoment Mon 18-Feb-13 07:37:52

I have always loved the idea of Home educating . I think I could do it at least up until secondary age maybe up to gcse but not beyond. The work itself doesn't panic me as such but the organisation, motivation and living every day around school does.
I like making bread for example I hate buying it would I have time for this- sounds really silly but it's just an exampl of what stops me!

I don't like the school my children are in . The teacher seems to spend alt of time doing work which is way behind my daughter ( who is doing Veh we at school) OR way ahead of my son ( who struggles every step of the way!) but that's the nature of school I suppose you have to cater for average.

seeker Mon 18-Feb-13 07:59:21

I would have thought one of the good things about HE is that bread making could be incorporated into it effortlessly!

Oh and, "but that's the nature of school I suppose you have to cater for average." No. Go in and sort this out- if your school is doing this,don't let them.

saintlyjimjams Mon 18-Feb-13 07:59:50

Agreeing with mrsbradleyjames in more ways than one it seems grin

I don't home ed, but would have no fears doing so at secondary (esp GCSE - probably easier to teach GCSE than 11 or 13 plus). I work from home so would probably use something like interhigh then top up with more creative stuff. (Can you tell I have considered it for 1 child - mainly because he has struggled with 'sch

saintlyjimjams Mon 18-Feb-13 08:01:22

Bah phone. Struggled with school in the last 2 years. It is affecting his confidence. He's year 6 now, we'll give secondary a go - I think it might suit him better than primary - but if we have more of the same I'll home ed.

ConfusedPixie Mon 18-Feb-13 08:03:59

YANBU. I nanny a boy who is HEd for the very same reason. My Nan was going to HE her youngest for the same reason too but managed to fight to get her into an SEN school (LA wanted her in Mainstream, within 6 months of being in SEN school she had transformed from a toddler to little girl).

Yet every time we talk about it she goes on and on about how he needs to be in school like all the other kids hmm As do others when I mention it in passing.

They'll blow their top when I have my own kids and they realise I have no intentions of sending them to school until they are at least secondary level, probably not then either. There are plenty of resources and online 'schools' available to teach kids the same subjects they'd learn in school. Along with HE groups and clubs who do lessons together with parents who are qualified in various subjects.

whois Mon 18-Feb-13 08:06:22

I couldn't. I don't have the patience. Nor am I good at explaining things such as maths that I 'just get'. Wouldn't want to either!

PolkadotCircus Mon 18-Feb-13 08:06:38

I was a primary teacher and would have loved to have done it (too much reading of Soulemama)but know that honestly I couldn't do as good a job as most schools.I also think kids need other children,the school environment and also the discipline it brings.

I used to work my arse off planning for just one year group,to plan for the two my dc are in well there just aren't the hours in the day.Schools have access to all the up to date resources,training and methods.It would take hours on the Internet and ££££ to get as good at home.

I've been out for 9 years now and already can see how far behind I am.I had to do some maths with one of my dc and had to double check with school that we were doing it in the correct up to date way- we weren't.blush

I also don't think just anybody can teach,it takes a lot of skill (and patience)to do it well.

Then there is the discipline.Dd really needs to get her tables sorted this half term but I know we'll get side tracked.Kids often don't knuckle under as well for their parents as they do their teachers.

Then there are the things like PE and religion,bar cycling and hiking as a family we don't know much about either sport or RE- school does so they something we could never give.

Then there is the social aspect.We're all quite shy but school forces my dc to confront that and do things they never would at home and they're learning to be part of a community,get up every day ready for the working day and learn to make all sorts of friends whilst tolerating those they might not choose to.

Finally there is the issue of the urge one gets of wanting to throttle ones kids when doing any kind of school work with them. Come Friday when they're off school I often wish we had the freedom the weekend gives then after a fraught Sunday homework session rushing to get just 2 pieces completed with me often resisting the urge to run for the hills I often wonder just how I ever did it X 30!

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning Mon 18-Feb-13 08:07:20

Emma, I've only read your OP but agree entirely.

When we did HE for about a term and a half, due to the school ds was at messing about and removing his place, my mother actually said to me she hated it so much that she felt she ought to report us to social services as he was 'missing out on so much' shock

She said it was a form of neglect, I had the same sort of comment from my sister - no family support for it at all. So when a place came up I took it immediately.

Now my mother is worrying that secondary school will teach him about <horror> sex, hmm so I'm hoping to persuade her that HE will be the this space...

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