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to want to be on the deeds of my new husbands flat

(117 Posts)
mpi Sun 17-Feb-13 14:37:33

i married by partner of 4 years last october and moved into a flat which he owns outright...when we have argued he has threatened to throw me out and change the locks which has made me feel insecure....when we last made up and i explained how insecure this made me feel he offered voluntarily to put the flat in our joint names...after cancelling several solicitors appointments he now says he never understood what joint ownership meant, and now he refuses to do it and has stormed out (again) accusing me of trying to con him out of half his house.
Am i being unreasonable to think that when married...what we each have is shared?

racmun Sun 17-Feb-13 15:09:07

Basically there is the legal ownership and beneficial ownership. If you have contributed to the mortgage then in Equity you are considered a beneficial owner and entitled to some of the value regardless of what the title says. Could cost a fortune though to go through the chancery court and get it sorted.

Owning the property as tenants in common gives you a % whatever that may be and you would be on the title.

Assuming it's mortgaged you need the mortgage company's consent to do the transfer of Equity.

You both need to consider doing wills as any previous wills are revoked by marriage.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 15:09:11

This should have been discussed before you got married TBH.

Anyway, we have no idea what the arguement was about, what was said because it must have been pretty heated to come out with a line like that. Was that threat before you were married? You've only been married 4 months.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 17-Feb-13 15:10:14

A person who threatens, rages and Storms out is someone I'd be considering leaving of my own free wil, TBH

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 17-Feb-13 15:10:41


4 years

Isityouorme Sun 17-Feb-13 15:12:29

Known him 4 years, married 4 months.

80sMum Sun 17-Feb-13 15:13:01

Oh dear it does sound as though he thinks the marriage may not last I'm afraid. He either thinks you are having 2nd thoughts, or he is having them himself. That's a very unsettling situation for both of you. Have you considered trying to talk to a relationship counsellor together?

fuckwittery Sun 17-Feb-13 15:13:31

She doesn't need to establish beneficial ownership by contribution as they are married and court has wide powers to redistribute /split property on a divorce. Sole or joint owner, Joint tenants or tenants in common not v relevant when married unless one dies.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 17-Feb-13 15:14:32


Thanks. Must check before i attempt to correct someone else. dOh!

BlatantLies Sun 17-Feb-13 15:16:38

OP, Can you pease confirm how long you have been married? I read it as you married your partner of 4 years last October.

He sounds awful. I hope you are not thinking of having DC's anytime soon. sad

squoosh Sun 17-Feb-13 15:17:38

Wow, he sounds like a real catch!

mpi Sun 17-Feb-13 15:17:58

thanks for all of your has confirmed what i thought...i am not being unreasonable to want equal footing in the home we live in ...and if it cant be in my husbands flat then he is being unreasonable to not accept that we move elsewhere and start afresh in a new property....its just angry people can make one question ones own judgement and even start to think that how one feels is wrong

digerd Sun 17-Feb-13 15:18:22

OP perhaps you should enter this Thread in the Legal section.

OHforDUCKScake Sun 17-Feb-13 15:22:25

Sorry, I read that at the start. Id forgotten it said that, doh.

Im not married, so I dont know the answer to this - but does the wife automatically possibly entitled to half of the flat if they divorced?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 17-Feb-13 15:24:00


What do you say to those of us who are questioning why he is even threatening to chick you out in the first place?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 17-Feb-13 15:24:46

What are you arguing about?

CloudsAndTrees Sun 17-Feb-13 15:26:41

Do you have children from a previous relationship?

If you do, I can see why he's reluctant to sign over half his house, because if the two of you split up, you would be likely to be able to keep his property that you contributed nothing to buying.

I owned my house outright before I got married. I have children from my previous relationship. As much as I love my husband, and am fully committed to him, I will not have his name put on the deeds of the house. I realise he may have some entitlement to it if we were to get divorced years down the line, but if we did get divorced, my priority is providing a home for myself and my children, not giving an ex a share of something that he didn't pay for.

I think there would be different responses on this thread if it were a man posting that his wife wouldn't put him on the deeds of a house she bought and fully paid for before he came along.

edam Sun 17-Feb-13 15:27:38

If a couple are married, their assets will be divided upon divorce. If they can't agree, this can be done by a court, which will look at various factors such as any dependent children, how long they have been married, what each partner contributed (financially or by looking after the kids therefore enabling the other one to go out to work) etc. etc. etc. A married person can't just chuck their spouse out onto the streets.

ImperialBlether Sun 17-Feb-13 15:28:35

The first time he told me to get out and he'd change the locks, I would have gone. I couldn't live with someone talking to me like that.

If he wanted to keep his property to himself (nothing wrong with that in a way) then he shouldn't have got married. You two should have discussed this before you married. Did you have your own home? Have you ever had a mortgage? Is there anything stopping you from living with him in his house, buying a house of your own and renting it out to pay the mortgage?

Lueji Sun 17-Feb-13 15:29:43

Was the house his before you got together?
Then I don't think you should be on it. It should be his. Particularly if he owns it outright.

But if he's threatening to throw you out and change the locks in an argument, you should leave, not want to share ownership of a flat.

Do you have children together?

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 15:35:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ENormaSnob Sun 17-Feb-13 15:41:40

What clouds said.

When I owned my first home it would've been a cold day in hell before I let dh (then dp) on the deeds.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Sun 17-Feb-13 15:44:20

I wouldn't sign over half of my house that I'd bought and paid off.

You are living mortgage free.

Save for a deposit, Get your own mortgage, buy yourself a property in your own name and rent it out.

CloudsAndTrees Sun 17-Feb-13 15:48:09

Maybe the DH has children from a previous relationship and wants to rightly protect his asset for them.

apostropheuse Sun 17-Feb-13 15:48:43

The house is his, bought outright before you married, so in my opinion you have no right to be on the deeds. I do agree that you should either buy or rent together though, with him retaining ownership and letting the house out, or selling it.

If I was in your position and he refused to live in a joint matrimonial home then I would walk. You need to be able to create a situation where you will be secure in the future and should you ever divorce you won't have to start again totally from scratch.

You need to take control of your own life and build your own security. If he chooses to join you as equal partner in that, fine. If not then you need to look out for your own future - with or without him.

Trifle Sun 17-Feb-13 16:11:26

So op, what assets did you bring into this relationship? Did he make the same threats to evict you before you were married ? You said you were paying half the bills, why is that a problem ?

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