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To wear my coat inside someone else's house or ask them to turn up the heating

(195 Posts)
frogspoon Sun 17-Feb-13 09:12:49

I am someone who always feels very cold. No medical reason, I think it's just because I am quite small and thin with little fat for insulation.

When I am at home I always have the thermostat set at 21-22, and even then often find myself sitting next to a radiator or electric heater.

When I go to friends I always find it very cold. I have a choice of either leaving my coat on, or mentioning that its a bit chilly in the hope that they will say they are cold too, and turn on/up the heating. I feel that whichever option I choose comes across as rude as I am implying that their house is cold (sometimes it genuinely is but most of the time it's just me)

Which would you find less/more offensive? Someone not wanting to take off their coat in your home? Or someone you to turn on/up the heating?

Bunbaker Tue 19-Feb-13 06:30:27

I agree frogspoon. Some people just don't get it. I always wear more layers when I visit my sister, but when the ambient temperature is that cold I can't get warm no matter how many layers I am wearing.

Not everyonw who feels the cold easily insists on wearing summer clothes all year and having the heating on at full blast.

They just don't understand the sheer physical discomfort of feeling so cold that it makes you feel so utterly miserable.

Ilovexmastime Tue 19-Feb-13 08:11:28

I cannot believe how many people think that YOU are rude! It's not your fault you feel the cold so much. So much for empathy.

NotGoodNotBad Tue 19-Feb-13 08:40:16

All you people who want the heating up for your comfort, do you turn it down in your houses if your guests are hot?

My mum has the heating blaring out at a temperature that just about makes me feel faint. Last summer I went during the hottest weekend of the year (about 28C) and cleaned her house top to bottom (hot work!) I asked if it was OK if I opened a window and she said she hadn't thought it was particularly hot! confused

lljkk Tue 19-Feb-13 09:44:00

I would do if they asked, NGNB. But to be honest, my heating at home is only at 15 on the thermostat, which turns into 18 in the warmest room. I don't think it's overly warm by any standards except for my friends who don't want to pay themselves for it to be above 12 in their own houses.

ithaka Tue 19-Feb-13 09:51:30

It is a tricky one - some people just have cold houses and that is what they are used to. My sister lives in a big, draughty farmhouse. Her children will be skipping about in skimpy nighties and bare feet while I am huddled in my fleece. I couldn't ask her to turn the heating up as she doesn't really have any as such, the house is as warm as she can make it. They are all super healthy and never get colds as well.

Vickibee Tue 19-Feb-13 10:00:04

Fully empathise with you OP I am cold just like you. The only place I am truly wArm is in bed. And that is with two duvets! I sit with a snuggle blanket and hot water bottle on an evening even though our home is warm enough and dh is sat there in shorts and t shirt.

quoteunquote Tue 19-Feb-13 10:17:40

Normal underwear
Thermal underwear (vest and long johns)
A uniqlo thermal top thing
A tshirt
A thick jumper
Wooly socks
A coat (outside and in other people's houses)

wear a thin pair of socks with a thick wool pair over them, (lovely wool socks in your local farmer merchants cheaply,

or wear a pair of wool tights with a pair of wool socks over them,

vest, thin long sleeved thermals, preferable with a silk blend, check out the climbing shops for clever underwear, breathable but warm enough for mountain tops,

silk mix stretchy long johns, check out the climbing shops,

long sleeved underwear top breathable , from climbing store,

instead of the one thick jumper, look at the sales, find cashmere jumpers, tank tops, cardigans,scarves, layer up, cashmere is unbelievably warm especially layered, look at the mixes for easier washing.

buy micro fleeces(TXmax and climbing shop)

jeans are terrible for keeping you warm, lots of wool mix trousers in the sales,

tweed is really warm, buy a classic jacket(will last a life time), you can still wear a coat over it,

the trick is lots of thin layers rather than bulk,

I got given some stretchy silk fingerless(but with only thumb bit) gloves which act as extra sleeves,

pashmina wraps, will help.

maddening Tue 19-Feb-13 10:55:50

If you know you have a problem with maintaining temps then invest in thermal underwear and maybe heat packs.

Or ask for a blanket? Sat on the sofa with a blanket is nicer than a coat.

maddening Tue 19-Feb-13 10:57:10

Microwave heat bags are good

maddening Tue 19-Feb-13 11:01:02

Ps just as you are nesh maybe your friends feel overheated easily so have their heating down

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 19-Feb-13 11:01:57

Agree re too hot houses too. Spent the weekend with lovely friends but their house was like a sauna and they had the heating on all night. I couldn't sleep and could hardly breathe, despite taking off as many clothes as decency allowed.

freddiefrog Tue 19-Feb-13 11:13:01

Sympathies here too, I'm always cold, even in the height of summer I'll be the one sitting on the beach in a jumper.

I have one friend who treats it like it's some failing on my part, like she's morally superior because 'I need more blood in my veins'

I wear lots of layers, including thermals,if I know I'm going to a friend's with colder houses. I've got a really thick fleece from one of those mountain climbing in sub zero temp shops.

It really, really pisses me off when the cold people come to my house and start fiddling with my heating - its set at 18, so hardly tropics in the first place, but they always come in and turn it down. I'm sure they'd have something to say if I walked into their house and turned it up!

freddiefrog Tue 19-Feb-13 11:15:11

Is asking for a blanket or microwaving heat packs really that more polite than just leaving your coat on?

maddening Tue 19-Feb-13 11:52:21

You can also get heat packs that heat when you open them so the op would not need to ask for anything if asking is the problem.

I just thought I would rather give a friend a blanket than have them sat in their coat - it seems more comfy.

It's easier to be a nesh bod than someone who overheats - nesh can add layers - if you overheat easily there's only so many layers you can remove before it is socially unacceptable smile

MTBMummy Tue 19-Feb-13 12:13:34

Frog I'm with you on this, when I was slimmer (pre DC) I was always cold, my MIL would often comment how rude it was that I would sit in my coat at their house, but it was freezing and I would have as many layers as you have on.

It's hard to find people who really understand what it's like to be constantly cold all the time (I used to wear thermal vasts in summer) I picked up some of those little microwave heat pads (the pocket sized wheat ones are what I used to use) - and pop them in the back of my shirt-jumper and they really helped, and generally people don't mind if you ask if you can pop something in the microwave for a minute.

My only other advice is to keep asking if you can have a cup of tea to warm yourself up :-)

deste Tue 19-Feb-13 12:32:42

I have a temperature gauge that let's you know how much o heat your house and 9 tells you that you are in danger of hypothermia

Bunbaker Tue 19-Feb-13 13:07:17

"do you turn it down in your houses if your guests are hot?"

I would if asked, but it has never been necessary. I have my thermostat set at about 17 degrees, and nearly all my friends have their houses at a similar temperature. No-one has sat in my house ripping off jumpers because they are too hot either.

I get irritated by the morally superior comments about feeling cold as well, although I don't seem to have the problem as badly as some of you. I hardly ever get any colds either even though I live in a warm (not hot) house.

Yfronts Tue 19-Feb-13 13:11:55

can't you just wear a couple of jumpers if you feel the cold that much.

claudedebussy Tue 19-Feb-13 13:13:45


i feel your pain. i end up just getting cold! sometimes i keep my coat on if i know the person well, like mil. she is a bit hmm but has accepted my spoilt-brat foibles. mostly anyway.

Bunbaker Tue 19-Feb-13 20:18:34

"can't you just wear a couple of jumpers if you feel the cold that much."

I suggest you read the thread

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