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To not let him change/bath baby

(59 Posts)
Dylanlovesbaez Sat 16-Feb-13 19:27:27

Okay, mil has a relatively new partner, they have been together 18 months and are getting married in a few months. Dp and I have met him quite a few times but aren't too sure about him (there's a few reasons for this but would take forever). He's very over familiar yet we consider him pretty much a 'stranger' to our dd. mil was bathing ds and he was in bathroom too. The next night, dp and i left dd with mil for an hour while we had Chance for heart to heart sat in the car! we went Indoors abd her partner was Bathing dd alone. i just feel uncomfortable with this as they live quite Far away from Us and we Dont see them very Often so i dont feel we know Him well enough. There's nothing sinister here and I do not think anything badly of him but it doesn't feel 'right'.

AThingInYourLife Sat 16-Feb-13 20:51:54

"Males you don't know very well do not equal peadophiles."


Some males do "equal paedophile".

And the ones who take babies off for baths they don't need at the first opportunity are showing signs that they might "equal paedophile".

BrianButterfield Sat 16-Feb-13 20:57:10

I agree that's odd. The only person other than me and DH who would bathe DS without expressly being told to would be my DM and only if really needed. Surely the norm is for people to be very reluctant to bathe random children, relations or not!

Dylanlovesbaez Sat 16-Feb-13 20:59:13

I am pretty relaxed generally but around him I'm not, I just don't like him. We were really cross that he had bathed her and I didn't understand why as she would have to go back into clothes that she had on all day even though she was clean! We just said, oh she didn't need a bath because we were both pretty shocked that he'd taken it upon himself to do it. I know I don't know him very well but even though I find him very odd, it hasn't set alarm bells ringing because I genuinely just think he's an idiot, however, it will not be happening again as dd will NEVER be left with them again. Thanks for all replies.

ChewinTheFat Sat 16-Feb-13 21:03:16

Yanbu. My mums partner makes me uneasy. He kept going on about my 3 dc's staying for a sleepover. No frigging chance, don't know 1 thing about him. It has affected my relationship with my mum. I can't stand the guy, he's a liar and a cheat with an alcohol problem and handy with his fists, my gut reaction was right. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could through him. Follow your instincts.

ChewinTheFat Sat 16-Feb-13 21:04:10


PurpleBlossom Sat 16-Feb-13 21:09:13

That is very strange OP.

What man would take a child not related to them and that they barely know off for a unneeded bath?!

It's not normal behaviour. You need to protect your DD from this man.

soimpressed Sat 16-Feb-13 21:18:30

I would never bath a child/ baby without asking a parents permission. I really think you have to go with your instincts in these situations.

Sashapineapple Sat 16-Feb-13 21:28:45

YANBU. I wouldn't let a stranger bath my DD.
Actually nobody but me or DH baths/changes nappies of DS & DD. I see no reason for anyone else to do it (sahm).

RainbowsFriend Sat 16-Feb-13 21:40:25

YANBU and I would find that behaviour markedly strange and suspicious. And yes, I would wonder whether he is "grooming" your MIL for access to grandchildren.

Some men (and some women) are indeed paedophiles.

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