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To begrudge DH.

(35 Posts)
Dollyboo Sat 16-Feb-13 12:22:20

Well I'm a SAHM, do all aspects of housework. What does he do..... Work, go to the gym and sleep. There's no input with the family life at home. DS is now at the age where he is asking for DH to do things with him but DHis always tired or wants to go the gym. He isn't involved in any way at home, apart from his clothes in the wardrobe, you wouldnt think there was a man in the house. I feel like a single parent. Part of me wishes i can leave the house and just have to answer to myself but I have DS to entertain. AIBU?

AgentZigzag Sat 16-Feb-13 12:59:52

Oh yes, you're soo lucky, how ungrateful of you to not acknowledge he's enabling you to feel good about yourself by knowing you're taking such good care of him hahahahaha grin

Start upping the times you tell him to go fuck himself say no, anything you do for him should be because you've chosen to do it, not because it's expected of you.

You're not his personal chef! He sounds worse than the fussiest toddler to cater for.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sat 16-Feb-13 13:03:32

Where is your rest? Have you asked him that?

He says you are lucky? In which way exactly are you lucky? You have a husband who spends his evening in the gym, ignores his child and won't do any housework. And expects you to cook different meals for him? If he's so obsessed with his diet, let him get on with it.

Why on earth do you make him breakfast? Can he not make his own? What happened to his arms?

He is very much living separately to you, except that he still expects you to cook and clean for him.

You are his wife, not his maid. He sounds like a selfish idiot.

Losingexcessweight Sat 16-Feb-13 13:09:30

My husband is similar in my ways, but he doesnt spend his free time on hobbies, he spends it making his business more powerful. He works 7 days aweek 8-9 hours a day.

In the meantime i do everything with dd whos 4 months old.

He tells me that im very lucky too.

If i suggest a day off, he tries to guilt trop me by saying how much money we would lose if he has one day off!

I feel like a single mum, but without the money worries.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sat 16-Feb-13 13:18:55

It's an easy test, losing:

Are you living the life you dreamed of?

if no: you are not very lucky.

Is he living the life he dreamed of:

If yes, as I suspect (he is rich and powerful and spends all his time at work, knowing that there's a wife at home easing his life along and ensuring clean clothing/cooked meals), then HE is very lucky.

Losingexcessweight Sat 16-Feb-13 13:28:06

Financially im living the life i dreamed off.
Materialistic im living the life i dreamed off

Emotionally its a lonely life,

Money doesnt buy happiness, it helps massively.

But if you have money, a nice home, but are lonely, are married, but you would never of known if it wasnt for my wedding ring, then money is not worth that.

motherinferior Sat 16-Feb-13 13:28:59

He sounds horrible. And very boring.

Losingexcessweight, I suggest you point your DH in the direction of all the research into the health risks of working those hours non-stop. No point in earning all that money if the pay-off is a heart attack.

Losingexcessweight Sat 16-Feb-13 13:32:24

I ve told him hes heading for an early grave!!

Whoknowswhocares Sat 16-Feb-13 13:36:30

FGS stop enabling this pathetic man!

He wants breakfast, he can find the damn kitchen. He wants a 'special' meal, let alone FOUR every day, then he can do it himself. Clean clothes, well I'd probably do the work stuff and minimum casual stuff as he is out working.......but the gym stuff? Forget it!

But that is the unimportant quite frankly. He doesn't bother to spend time with you and even worse, his own child?????? One day off a year, which he can't even be arsed to give over to family life

In a nutshell, yes yabu. But not for the reason you asked. Yabu to put up with this excuse for a husband and father. For yourself and for your son. I don't necessarily mean leave him, just stand up for yourself and put it right. If he won't, then it sadly means you have no family life to save and then what's the point?

EarlyMorningBaconDemon Sat 16-Feb-13 13:48:24

Just stop. Simple as.

Do the absolute minimum. Cook for yourself and for DS, but nothing else. Don't clear up. Don't do a single bloody thing for that selfish twat of a man. Do literally NOTHING for him. No washing,. no cooking, no cleaning, no polishing, no nothing. And if he thinks he can get you to do it by stropping then he can think again.

What a wanker.

HappyMummyOfOne Sat 16-Feb-13 13:53:29

Stopping cooking etc for him wont solve things,mhe could simply play tit for tat and stop paying for things given hes the only earner.

Whilst being a SAHM to a school aged child you could be expected to do the bulk of the household stuff you should get some free time to and he should be far more involved with his child.

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