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AIBU?

to NOT take DS out every day?

29 replies

Theicingontop · 16/02/2013 11:43

I take DS out every other day. We do grocery shopping, go to the park, look in shops, sometimes stay out for lunch. He walks the whole time, and we're out for at least four hours. I'm a sahm and the days we don't go out are filled with painting, drawing, playdoh, baking etc.

OH thinks he'd benefit from going out at least once every day. I think this is unreasonable, especially given the weather. The summer, I could understand, but sleet and snow and rain? Don't get me wrong, I take him out when it's cold, just not every day. He thinks I'm being a hermit and inflicting that on DS.

AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
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havingamadmoment · 16/02/2013 11:45

I think its just as beneficial to him to have a relaxing day at home! Your Dp is crazy if he thinks a walk in the rain is needed every single day...

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everlong · 16/02/2013 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flisspaps · 16/02/2013 11:46

I don't take DD and DS out if I don't fancy it. If DD or mindees ask to go out in the garden they can. As a CM, I am supposed to allow children to have outside play every day - that doesn't mean we have to go out for hours, the garden is sufficient. I supervise from the doorway.

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Piemother · 16/02/2013 11:50

Sounds like a great balance of every other day. Carry on Grin

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TheCountessOlenska · 16/02/2013 11:57

Bloody hell, I am a stay at home mum and you do a lot more than me! Your DH is being unreasonable
We go out ever day but only because I don't do baking and crafts - we go to soft play and my mums house (so she can do it for me Grin )

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noblegiraffe · 16/02/2013 11:58

If you can get away with it. If my DS doesn't go out every day, he goes a bit bonkers and sleeps badly.

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PicaK · 16/02/2013 12:18

I haven't been to a park since November so in the being outside sense we haven't been out for months.

But in the getting out of the house sense then we're out twice a day.

I have a lively child and I think they go a bit nuts without a change of scene.

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Pigsmummy · 16/02/2013 12:22

I have one day in a week unless she is poorly. Wrapped up nice and warm in pram she is a happy and the fresh air seems helps her sleep well.

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Mogandme · 16/02/2013 12:23

I find I'm climbing the walls if we dont go out at least once a day even if thats just a walk around the block (even in the snow and rain - DC has waterproofs and wellies) How old is DS?

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Theicingontop · 16/02/2013 13:07

He's 2.5. He loves being outside and loves all weather. Maybe I'm a bit deficient with organising my time but I'd find it bloody hard to get everything I need to do done if I was taking him out twice. We don't live near a park and the nearest one is at least 30 minutes (at his pace) walk away.

We gave his buggy away in January so we don't even have the option, he's much happier without it. He hated the sight of the thing. No option for a quick stroll anywhere interesting.

Even my friend's a bit like, "Whaaat? Don't you go mad being indoors?" Nope! Just as happy if not happier indoors, drawing rainbows and making muffins Blush

OP posts:
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katiecubs · 16/02/2013 13:15

We go out twice a day - once am and once pm, both me and DS would go mental if not!

I don't think YANU though - if you enjoy staying indoors so what?!

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thebody · 16/02/2013 13:19

I think you sound a wonderful mother and should stop allowing your twattish dh to undermine you and stop Asking friends on what they do with their kids.

Do what suits you and ds.

Perhaps your dh would like to go for a walk in -4 with his ds at the weekend.

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WilsonFrickett · 16/02/2013 13:20

When DS was that age if we hadn't got out the door by 11 I could guarantee a miserable day. He was a child who needed to run around a lot. But if you and DS are happy I don't see any problem with your schedule and I didn't do art stuff

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TheMaskedHorror · 16/02/2013 13:22

Agree with everyone else. Its whatever suits you.
We can have the odd day at home but we tend to go out most days. Its my personal preference as I love being out in the fresh air and the kids have got used to it.

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JugsMcGee · 16/02/2013 13:25

Do what suits you and DS! We're lucky to have a small park just down the road so if he starts getting a bit hyped we can wander down there for a bit. But if he's happy inside then I don't see why your DH is questioning your days.

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Whatsdoneisdoneisdone · 16/02/2013 13:33

We have to go out every day for the majority of the day else ds drives me insane. It's a bit easier now he's at nursery some mornings but he finishes at 12.30 so we usually go swimming or to the park in the afternoons. We go to garden centres. A lot. Ds also does gym and football and we see a friend once a week too. We have servesk annual memberships, one to a museum, one an arboretum and one to the safari park so we go to those places a lot.
It's harder in winter because some places shut out of season. It we can afford it we have one "big" day out each month, this month was Cadbury world, we went on the train to make it more special. Occasionally we go to the cinema. We avoid soft play because ds always wants me to come with him and it drives me mad.
Yanbu to stay in though. I go out because its much much easier than staying in and my house is less of a mess! Ds tends to be better behaved and sleep better if he's been out for most of the day.

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PurplePidjin · 16/02/2013 13:33

And on the days your dh is home, how often does he take him out? How many domestic tasks does he complete when he's not at work, to enable you to get out and about?

Hmm

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PurpleCrazyHorse · 16/02/2013 13:40

Oh gosh, DD doesn't go out that much with us at the weekends. We're currently at home today as DH has been ill with flu all week but the patio door is wide open and DD has been on her trike in the garden.

I think you need to do what's best for you both. DD is happy with imaginary play in the garden and although she doesn't mind the park, she's quite happy doing quieter play at home too.

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Annunziata · 16/02/2013 13:51

I think it is good to get out as much as you can every day at that age- even if it's just a run about in the garden.

BUT if you're happy and your DS is happy, there's no problem. If your OH thinks he needs to get out, he can take him.

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Scholes34 · 16/02/2013 15:19

Boys are like puppies - they need to be well fed, watered and exercised every day.

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Murtette · 16/02/2013 21:12

I think it depends on your DS and what he's happy doing & how well he behaves & sleeps if he isn't "exercised". One of my friends has to take her DS out every day for a 30 min run; DD has never needed that sort of thing. Yes, she enjoys going to the park, playing in the garden, jumping in puddles but she's just as happy to be at home all day baking, playing board games, playing with her dolls, doing number & letter work, crafts, singing etc. Actually, it may help that, due to the random layout of our house, we can treat the dining table as the centre of a race track and play chase or scoot or build and obstacle course around it.

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AThingInYourLife · 16/02/2013 21:15

I think it's your decision.

Personally I would choose to take a 2.5 year old out most days.

But that's because 2.5 year olds I have given birth to seem to go stir crazy if they don't get out and it's unpleasant to be around.

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bedmonster · 16/02/2013 21:22

It sounds like he's getting a lot of stimulation regardless of being in or out, so I don't think YABU.
However, DS 15m is like a dog and needs so much exercise. He walks a lot, although still uses the buggy for the school runs etc, but starts to get into things he shouldn't if he's indoors for too long! I have come to recognise his triggers which basically include him getting really wound up over nothing. Today, we were in during the morning, went out for lunch so although we were out of the house he was strapped into his high chair for the most part. When we got back, we spent a good hour and a half in the garden. Playing football, on the trampoline, blowing bubbles while I joined him and also pottered about the garden tidying stuff up.
For my DS, i can see it makes a big difference to his overall mood when he gets a good amount of fresh air. Without it, he's like a bear with a sore head!

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HappySeven · 16/02/2013 22:11

I need to go outside at least once a day and so I'm with your DH. However, does your DS have vitamin D drops? That's the only real health benefit I can think of.

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maddening · 16/02/2013 22:15

Until xmas ds was out every day but hernia got worse so in more now - scared to walk too far and lots of activities too much at mo - used to do swimming one day, one farm toddler group, one normal toddler group, library rhyme time and 2 days visiting, going to shops and park etc ds seems fine and the weather is pants so not stressing too much plus my dps helping so he is getting extra gp time

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