To think my 6yo shouldn't watch The Two Towers?(80 Posts)
I just walked in to our living room to find DH had left DS1 (10) and DS2 (6) watching The Two Towers which is rated 12. They were at the scene in the Dead Marshes where Frodo falls in the water - this bit and they were both freaking out. This has happened before resulting in DS1 refusing to go upstairs by himself and DS2 starting to come into our room at night after having nightmares.
DH says I am being unreasonable: the kids should enjoy being scared and that I am projecting my own fears on to them. My opinion is that it's okay for them to watch a film rated above their age so long as one of us is with them. For example to warn them that a scary bit is coming and that they can close their eyes if it's too scary and I'll tell them when it's over.
The problem arises because DH's parents let him watch whatever he wanted including Jaws when he was six, whereas my parents were more likely to go by the ratings system although they did have some flexibility around it.
So AIBU to not want my kids to see films rated above their age without parental permission?
I'm stunned you let him watch JP!!!!!
But I've realised from reading MN I'm very strict when it comes to tv/film watching. My 4.8 yr old accidentally switched onto Power Rangers today and I made him turn it off straight away. They certainly won't be watching Jurassic Park until they're at least 9 or 10 if not older.
When I was young (I don't know how old) my mum let me watch Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. I don't remember anything about it but she says I had nightmares for months afterwards. I am now 49 and have had a bird phobia for as long as I can remember. I can't be in a room with a bird that is not in a cage and have to leave the supermarket if a bird is flying around inside.
I don't know if the two things are related but I bet they are and it has affected my whole life.
That is the extreme end of what can go wrong Christmas, but the bottom line is what is the bloody rush to expose such young children to such unsuitable viewing????
They don't know these films exist unless we show them, and if they are told about them by older friends/siblings, it's surely very easy to say "you are too young".
You are not depriving them or disadvantaging them in anyway whatsoever and there are so many lovely films aimed at kids that they can enjoy.
I truly truly don't get it!
My four-year-old has been watching The Two Towers this week on a second go through the LOTR trilogy. We have a PG edit of it, he watches it with one or both of us, we comment to help, we fast forward the "scary" bits. Any chance they were watching that version? It was on tv a month or two ago and we recorded it.
More generally, though, films have certificates for a reason, and there's no need to gallop through them early.
I feel very sad for children who are exposed to this when they're clearly distressed by it.
It's really a moot point whether it's ok for children generally to watch films rated higher than their age.
'They were both freaking out. This has happened before resulting in DS1 refusing to go upstairs by himself and DS2 starting to come into our room at night after having nightmares.'
These particular children have shown you that it's no ok for them. Unless your DH thinks that was you projecting.
DomesticCEO I agree when mine were that age they were happy enjoying Disney films and some of them have their moments.
Horatio unfortunately it was the extended edition on Bluray. My DH is a big fan of the LOTR books so of course he was delighted when the films came out so I understand that he wants to share that interest with the kids. But he has also shown them Batman Begins which isn't really suitable either.
Part of the problem here is that my mum wouldn't let me watch Jaws (DH's favourite film) as a child and I didn't see it until he showed it to me when I was 19 so in his opinion I was deprived of a great film by strict parents. But in fact my parents were reasonable relaxed about the ratings and judged each film on it's own merits so I would have watched something like A Fish Called Wanda or Trading Places before I was 15 but they wouldn't have let me watch horror movies such as Nightmare on Elm Street until I was 18 or thereabouts.
Horatio, genuine question - why on earth do you feel the need to show LOTR to a 4 yr old???
StepAway, yep my kids enjoy Pixar, Disney, etc. and even those we're sometimes not keen on!
But Stunt, you watched it as an adult - no deprivation at all! All these films will be there for our kids to watch when older so what's the rush?
Stuntnun I think your Dh has some really weird opinions. That's like saying, if your 6 yo hasn't read War and Peace then you're depriving him of a great classic. Children have children's movies for a reason - then they can grow up and enjoy grown up movies when they're mature enough to handle/understand them.
My six year old watched this at Christmas - but with us, so he could hide if necessary. Actually he was fine, really enjoyed it.
My eight year old, on the other hand, did not enjoy it at all so went to do something else instead.
I think what I'm trying to say with this is that it depends on the child, rather than the age.
I watched this again recently and there is some really disturbing images! I would be horrified if DS1 watched it (he's 6). I can only imagine the fall out as he is v sensitive and has not long progressed from cbeebies to films like Toy Story! And he's quite a mature, sensible little boy, not babyish.
It's rated 12 for a reason. Your DH is, indeed, a knobber and I would be so angry. Aside from ignoring the basic guidelines (6 is quite a long way from 12!), he's completely ignored the fact that films have affected your DC in the past and hasn't thought about their well being at all.
There is all the time in the world to watch scary shit on TV - it doesn't need to be when they are 6 and 10. YANBU.
we fast forward the "scary" bits
Really, what is the point of showing unsuitable films to small children? As the other poster said, what is the rush? There's loads of stuff they can enjoy without having to fast forward anything. Insane.
Not one person has yet explained WHY they show these films to their children!
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why show something that isn't suitable?
Domestic, I kind of explained upthread. Obviously that's just my situation though.
Thank you Jenai. I still wouldn't have done that even in your situation but thank you for explaining.
It truly does genuinely confuse me as there are sooooo many films that kids can watch without having to 'fast forward the scary bits' or worry about giving them nightmares.
Ah, but he really is impervious to it.
Last time I watched it though he took the piss out of me for taking it so seriously
Funnily enough I didn't let him watch Power Rangers.when he was little because I found it made other children I knew quite fighty.
Oh, oh, oh and I remember posting on MN that same day to ask if Hot Fuzz was suitable. Someone kindly pointed me in the direction of [[ http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0425112/parentalguide this]]
I think it's this specific situation that makes this really poor show on the part of stunt's DH. Watching a film which gets a bit scary might be fine cuddled up to a trusted adult, feeling safe and secure. Being left alone with noone to reassure you if suddenly things become scary to you is horrible.
What 'scary' is is also a really relative term. I watched Pink Floyd's The Wall when I was 10. I was utterly compelled but it screwed wih my head! Genuinely years later I got a funny stomach churn when I saw a gas mask.
If he loves the films so much why stick it on and walk away? Sit with them and enjoy it together.
I might, at a push, say that children do need to develop a certain resilience when it comes to fantasy - just so they can cope watching TV or reading books generally. However, this is utterly beyond the pail.
That is a fab resource jenal. That would be handy for showing films at school actually. Must make note. Thanks for sharing
Batman Begins???? FFS.
I love LOTR but there is no way in a billion years DD will be watching it until she's closer to 12 than not. Frankly, if they're too young to read it then they're definitely too young to watch it - and even if they have read it they may still be too young! Wait till they're old enough to really appreciate a 3 hour long 12 rated film!
My children are very familiar with the story, but some of the scenes, thinking of some of those involving the Uruk-hai especialy, in the Two Towers are rather graphic in the film.
The Dead Marshes scene would be less of a concern, than some others.
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