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To think my 6yo shouldn't watch The Two Towers?

(80 Posts)
StuntNun Sat 16-Feb-13 09:58:16

I just walked in to our living room to find DH had left DS1 (10) and DS2 (6) watching The Two Towers which is rated 12. They were at the scene in the Dead Marshes where Frodo falls in the water - this bit and they were both freaking out. This has happened before resulting in DS1 refusing to go upstairs by himself and DS2 starting to come into our room at night after having nightmares.

DH says I am being unreasonable: the kids should enjoy being scared and that I am projecting my own fears on to them. My opinion is that it's okay for them to watch a film rated above their age so long as one of us is with them. For example to warn them that a scary bit is coming and that they can close their eyes if it's too scary and I'll tell them when it's over.

The problem arises because DH's parents let him watch whatever he wanted including Jaws when he was six, whereas my parents were more likely to go by the ratings system although they did have some flexibility around it.

So AIBU to not want my kids to see films rated above their age without parental permission?

StuntNun Sat 16-Feb-13 09:58:47

Sorry that should say parental supervision.

CMOTDibbler Sat 16-Feb-13 10:01:08

YANBU - the two towers is not suitable at all for this age group.

TheLibrarianOok Sat 16-Feb-13 10:02:57

he is being an arse

DomesticCEO Sat 16-Feb-13 10:03:58

Not at all suitable - but you'll get plenty of parents telling you that their highly advanced 3 yr old has watched it and was fine hmm.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sat 16-Feb-13 10:04:43

YANBU at all. Some kids will be fine with it (my lot love LOTR but we always watch it together) but for many it would be too scary. It's not a kids' film!

WilsonFrickett Sat 16-Feb-13 10:04:58

Yep, kids should definitely enjoy being scared and freaked out. In fact, why doesn't he pop Saw on when they're done? Knobber.

Sorry but this really grips my shit, show kids something they're not emotionally ready to see then blame them for not being emotionally ready to see it angry

TheLibrarianOok Sat 16-Feb-13 10:06:59

there's often an element of a parent putting their own needs or wishes above those of their kids in this imo

Kirk1 Sat 16-Feb-13 10:15:18

Agree with Wilson. Your DH is a Knobber. Children do enjoy a mild scare, but go too far and you can cause real problems. Ask him if he is prepared to comfort your 6yo when he wakes screaming with nightmares in the middle of the night.

When I was young I was mistakenly given some books on ghosts and werewolves. I had terrible nightmares for YEARS because of it. Seriously, ban your idiot H from choosing your children's viewing, he's obviously too damaged to have rational judgement.

StuntNun Sat 16-Feb-13 11:01:17

Domestic I was expecting a bit of "My kids saw that and they were fine" to be honest. I'm sure some kids would watch The Two Towers or something similar and it wouldn't bother them at all. That was why I put 'my 6yo' in the question rather than 'a 6yo'.

My two boys love Jurassic Park which is a scary film but it's a PG so they can handle the scary bits. So it's not that they don't like scary films. And they enjoyed The Fellowship of the Ring which is PG so it's not unreasonable to let them watch The Two Towers, just not on their own.

My problem is that DH thinks I'm being overly protective so he doesn't take it seriously. This is actually the second time this has happened, at the exact same scene. But I was responding to the boys' reactions, not to what was in the screen. If I had walked in and they were sitting calmly watching it, that would be different. But DS2 was curled up in a ball with his face buried in the beanbag, and DS1 was in obvious distress (he has Aspergers so he has difficulty coping with his own emotions and wouldn't instinctively hide his face).

WilsonFrickett Sat 16-Feb-13 11:33:12

It's also unnecessary. My DS has ASD and is scared of the cinema. So we don't make him go - he can get through his life just fine by not 'enjoying cinema' just like yours can go through their life just fine not 'enjoying being scared'.

jamdonut Sat 16-Feb-13 11:43:00

When my DS was 6 he watched Jurassic Park and it scared the Hell out of him!! He wouldn't watch it at all after that.He's nearly 13 now and is still not very keen. But he loves all the LOtR films! I don't think he would have liked The Two Towers at 6 years old though.
Children are scared by different thing,and not necessarily what you think they will be scared of.

SconeInSixtySeconds Sat 16-Feb-13 11:45:31

Not unreasonable at all.

I have let ds (7) watch the Hobbit, but we had a chat about Lotr being much scarier and that he wasn't old enough yet.

I watched the two towers with my hands over my eyes and I am 38!

Pandemoniaa Sat 16-Feb-13 11:48:49

YANBU. It's not necessary to scare the bejesus out of children and while I'm sure there are 6 year olds who could cope with the film, you know your own children and the consequences of them being exposed to something that frightens them.

It comes across as a rather unpleasant power game, imho.

I also realise that there comes a time when you can only warn older children about the content of some films that are, in theory, age appropriate - I recall ds2 (then aged 12) insisting on watching a particular film. I'd read the book and thought it was likely to contain elements he might find scary. I was right. 15 minutes in he said, (over casually), "I don't think I'm very bothered about watching the rest of this" and it was turned off. I didn't tell him to "man up" or insist that it was part of his development to get nightmares from it.

PretzelTime Sat 16-Feb-13 11:56:01

What Pandemoniaa said.

ErikNorseman Sat 16-Feb-13 12:03:00

YANBU! We watched the lotr films at Christmas and I covered DS's eyes or distracted him at the scary bits, and the corpses in the swamp is far too scary for a small child to see.

determinedma Sat 16-Feb-13 13:09:05

The orcs are very scary too, it would have scared the life out of mine at that age. I remember them being pretty scared of miss trunchbull in Matilda.

DeWe Sat 16-Feb-13 13:11:57

I read LoTR at that age. However I wouldn't have watched it as it is much more frightening like that.

IAmLouisWalsh Sat 16-Feb-13 13:18:26

Yadnbu. One of my favourite films ever, but we have had a long debate about what age to let DS1 watch it. He is 6 and there is no chance. We are currently working on 8 -10 before we unleash our inner geekery on him

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 16-Feb-13 13:52:37

YANBU... it scares me blush

JumpingJackSprat Sat 16-Feb-13 14:00:00

seriously?! i think jurassic park is far worse than lotr in terms of scares ... people getting eaten by a massive lizard and getting chased by velociraptors? as opposed to walking, talking and a few non bloody battles in lotr? im surprised you think jurassic park is ok but not lotr.

JenaiMorris Sat 16-Feb-13 14:02:55

As I think you're acknowledging op it really does depend on the child.

My ds watched all three LOTR films more or less back to back when he was about 9 to no ill effect; we'd run out of his DVDs, only had four TV channels and he was off school for a week with a bad chest so bored.

It's got nothing to do with being "advanced" - he just doesn't get frightened by purely fictional things - I actually genuinely worried for a while that he lacked imagination or something, he was (and is) so impervious to fiction.

StuntNun Sat 16-Feb-13 14:14:44

Jumping they watched Jurassic Park with the childminder the first time. I was a bit shocked myself but they took it in their stride and asked me to get them the DVD. Really though they're generally happier watching the things they want to watch. DS1 loves Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run type of films; DS2 loves Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Garfield etc. The kind of films you would expect a 10yo and a 6yo to watch really.

I think LibrarianOok is right, it's DH thinking this is what he would have liked to watch so that's what the DSs should watch. He is unrepentant though.

Smartiepants79 Sat 16-Feb-13 14:25:53

As a child I was scared by many fairly innocuous films and as an adult still avoid 'scary' films.
I miss nothing.
Why do they NEED to enjoy being scared? Just because he does?
They will come to it at the appropriate time and enjoy it all the more.
TLOTR is not appropriate for anyone under the age of 10 or so in my opinion. The story line alone would be utterly incomprehensible to 99% of this age range.
Why can't they enjoy being 6 and enjoy things made for 6 year olds?

moajab Sat 16-Feb-13 14:27:11

IMO it's a question of supervision and what the children enjoy. My DSs did watch LOTR at a young age, possibly the younger was 5 or 6. But they would watch it with us, not alone and they would definitly not be forced to watch anything that scared them or that they didn't enjoy.

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