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AIBU?

to plan to get out of the rat race?

27 replies

inadreamworld · 16/02/2013 09:20

Thinking of selling up and moving to Ireland with DH and two young children under 2. We could afford to buy a property with no mortgage over there as properties are so cheap. We both have Irish backgrounds and have family over there plus DH went to Uni over there and lived there for 6 years. So it is not as if we are going to an unknown place.

We hope to have another child/more children and London is becoming stressful and very expensive. DH would obviously need a job (he is a teacher and also a musician) but he could perhaps work for himself perhaps as a tutor/music teacher. I was also thinking I could do childminding.

I am looking for positive stories from people who have done something similar/know someone who has. Lots of people in real life telling me I am mad - so am I really living 'inadreamworld' or is this doable?

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MrsMushroom · 16/02/2013 09:24

I wonder why they say you're mad?! I think it's a fabulous idea...you're in an ideal situation to do such a thing.

You could run a B&B or offer courses in something over the summer months if you had a larger property...you know....perhaps a sort of music appreciation course for beginners who'd like a learning holiday? IN the same way that artists run art courses for a week and do B&B as part of the deal.

Start a blog about your journey now...capitalise on the whole thing right from the start.

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recall · 16/02/2013 09:26

YANBU it's your life, live it how you choose, sounds like a better life.

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inadreamworld · 16/02/2013 09:26

Hey good idea about the blog MrsM

Only some people in RL say I am mad...the types who are scared to make a change/take a risk.

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Mrspartacus · 16/02/2013 09:28

If we could, I'd do it too. What is holding you back? Go for it!!!!!

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SnoogyWoo · 16/02/2013 09:31

All down to your outgoings.. If you live there with zero debt then of course its doable.

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HollyBerryBush · 16/02/2013 09:31

BIL and SIL did it, they have no children and she is of Irish descent. they seem to be enjoying themselves.

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Eebahgum · 16/02/2013 09:34

You could buy a house mortgage free? What are you waiting for? I'd happily trade my soul in for the improved quality of life that would give me!

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inadreamworld · 16/02/2013 10:08

Thanks for encouragement everyone!

My parents live in London (although my Dad is Irish and came over here for a 'better life' many years ago). They are in their 70s but in good health and I am an only child. I don't want to feel I am deserting them but DHs Mum lives in Ireland, his dad passed away a few years ago, he is an only child too. I want to do the right thing by my parents but London is really proving very expensive for us - all our money is in the flat, I am a sahm and DH doesn't earn a high salary (he is a teacher and recently had cutbacks at his school so he is on a lower salary now).

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Oreocrumbs · 16/02/2013 10:20

I have no experience, but I think it sounds like a great plan.

I really admire people who do this. I'm sure it won't all be a bed of roses, life never is, but what a great chance to improve your life.

Make careful plans, have a plan B in case you decide you want to come back, and roll with it.

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mummymeister · 16/02/2013 10:45

agree with oreo. we did it gave up life in london with 3 DC's under 4 moved to rural area, started own business together but there are lots of big buts in there and you need to plan for them. both of you have to be completely fully committed to it. if you want to do it then start now. get your child minding qualifications, first aid cert any other course you need. Get Dh to start a website, a portfolio, to research areas where there is a good school music dept, good orchestra good bands. took us a year to get everything in place before we made the leap. doable yes. easy no. worth it definately.

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MrsMushroom · 16/02/2013 10:54

You'll be better off financially so a flight to London to visit your parents won't be too hard. I'm excited for you!

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Bunbaker · 16/02/2013 10:54

Just bear in mind that the cost of living (if not the cost of property) is higher in Ireland than it is in the UK.

This website gives you an idea of living costs.

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countrykitten · 16/02/2013 11:39

We did this sort of. We left the city and moved to a very rural county at the same time that dh set up his own business and I went part time. We are not mortgage free and have a massive renovation project on our hands and not as much money as we used to have. We grown our own veggies and have out own hens.

We are incredibly tired, live in a semi building site, have little disposable income and are deliriously happy! I would not change a thing.

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countrykitten · 16/02/2013 11:39

DO IT!

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Angelfootprints · 16/02/2013 12:42

OP I can very much understand where your coming from.

Tiered of the high cost of living in the SE and the children only seeing DH 1 hour a day if lucky, sometimes not for days if has to travel. The weekend is often lost to jobs DH cannot do in the week.

All that for little reward by the time we forked out living expenses.

Im finding myself daydreaming about leaving it all behind to run and b&b, tea shop, gift shop, activity classes... A vauge idea really!

Im sure it would be hard work and Im romanticising it too much but at least the children could see their father more!

However DH loves the job and we both fear finical uncertainty so doubt it will happen.

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inadreamworld · 17/02/2013 08:15

Angel I can understand how you feel - you say your DH loves the job though - could he reduce his hours?

countrykitten I like to hear stories like that!! Thank you.

MrsM you are right of course about the flight to London cost.

Bunbaker thanks for cost comparisons!

It is nice to hear so many positive comments. I was born and grew up in London but I do think when you have children your attitude changes. London is great for single people, people with no children or those with lots of money. I will probably miss it in some ways though.

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Tee2072 · 17/02/2013 08:26

The thing that I don't see list on that link, that you need to keep in mind, is there is no NHS in Ireland. So you need cash to see a doctor or if you need hospital treatment etc. That can be a major expense.

Also, cost of whatever visas or what have you you might need to move there. It is a different country, after all!

But if all of those things are doable? Go for it!

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Timetoask · 17/02/2013 08:28

Op, I was under the impression that many young people are leaving Ireland because of the lack of work. Is that not right? In London at least you have work options.

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inadreamworld · 17/02/2013 08:32

Tee thanks hadn't thought about NHS - my husband says I can get a medical card for free - but will check it out. I can get an Irish passport as my dad has one. Even on British passport I am OK to live in Ireland for as long as I like (special arrangement) - but will prob change to Irish eventually.

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SnowyWellies · 17/02/2013 08:32

So envious! I would LOVE to do that.

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inadreamworld · 17/02/2013 08:38

Time when my Dad came over to England years ago that was true. Now both the UK and Ireland have high unemployment. I agree there is more work in London but there are options for us in ireland if we are creative - also we would not have a mortgage so the expenses would be less

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FurryDogMother · 17/02/2013 08:47

You can get a medical card if your income is below a certain level, and also subsidised prescriptions. No visas or anything like that needed. Importing cars can get a bit pricey, might be better to sell in the UK and then buy over here.

DH and I moved to Ireland in 1999, (no kids, just us) and I think it's the best thing we ever did. DH has/had a business (which I contribute to), but with the recession money is very very tight. Despite that - we're very happy here - we're in a very rural area, which is beautiful, we have half an acre of land which we could never have afforded in the UK, but which gives us room for the dogs and some half-hearted vegetable growing. We used to have chickens until the fox visited.

Back in the 80s/90s I used to have a very stressful, high profile career working in London. I was totally burned out by it, and would never go back to something like that. Here, I am happy, despite the frankly diabolical weather :) It had been my dream to move here since the late 70s, and I have no regrets at all.

Feel free to PM me if there's anything you want to ask :)

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happybubblebrain · 17/02/2013 08:48

I've never regretted leaving London, I found it a soul destroying place.
It's a very good plan. Living without a mortgage would be very liberating.

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FurryDogMother · 17/02/2013 08:53

Oh, and to add - my Dad (I'm an only child, too) is now in his 80s and still living in SE England. Flights home cost under ?100 return - I usually go back 3 times a year to see him, and more often recently since he broke his hip. It's a short journey, just over an hour Knock (Ireland West) to Gatwick, and no harder than travelling from one part of the UK to another.

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CailinDana · 17/02/2013 09:01

Just a few things to consider.

Property in Ireland isn't particularly cheap. It's cheaper than it was, but that's only because it went absolutely crazy in the boom. My parents paid IR£19,000 for their house in 1979 and in 2007 the identical (three bedroom semi-d) house next door was on the market for 360,000 euros! Madness. It sold recently for 200,000, so a lot cheaper but still not cheap for a 3 bed in an obscure part of a small town.

You won't get a medical card unless you're on the dole. Which means every trip to the GP will cost 60euros and you'll pay full price for prescriptions. Some antibiotics cost 75euros or more.

Schooling is more expensive. No school dinners. You have to buy each child a stack of textbooks at the start of each school year, along with all the pencils, pens, art supplies and copy books that they need.

Schooling is just about guaranteed to be Catholic. Not a problem as long as you don't mind a very religiously informed education.

You can't switch passports anymore. Due to the EU your passport is valid and remains valid throughout your life.

My teacher friends can't get jobs.

Cost of living is considerably higher in Ireland - you will pay quite a bit more for food, clothes, cars etc.

Despite speaking the same language and having something of a shared history there are definite cultural differences between England and Ireland that might surprise you. Be prepared to feel a bit of a fish out of water for a while.

I don't say all this to put you off - I moved from Ireland to England and I am delighted I did it, it's been great. It's just better to go into it with your eyes fully open.