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to wish my dd would go out? I probably am!

(36 Posts)
Pricklypickup Sat 16-Feb-13 09:10:11

Today is my dh's birthday. Our youngest child is going out this morning and won't be back until tomorrow lunch time.

I asked my 16 dd during the week if she'd consider seeing if friends were around to go and visit this weekend as dh and I would like to have time just the two of us and she may get bored/lonely.

I just asked her what her plans are and she said she's going to stay at home this weekend, and complete her homework and tidy her bedroom.

Yes I'm lucky that she wants to be with her family.

But I'm also knarked that for dh and I to have any alone time we have to go out, which means spending money as too cold/wet for anything else, and it also means that it'll be three for dinner not two.

BTW I'm not showing dd my unhappiness as I don't want her to feel unwelcome in her own home, but boy I wish she'd go out occassionally for longer than a couple of hours.

seeker Sat 16-Feb-13 16:18:42

A 16 year old is perfectly capable of understanding that her parents would like to have dinner alone, for heaven's sake! Just discuss it with her- there is a middle ground between chucking her out to walk the streets and spending the evening as a threesome playing scrabble!

mrsbunnylove Sat 16-Feb-13 16:26:09

you gave birth to her and you don't want her around.

mrsjay Sat 16-Feb-13 16:32:50

My dds never really go anywhere well dd1 does now because she is much older so goes to work and her boyfriends and sometimes out but why cant you and your husband go out for A meal together it is nice for some time alone especialy when your younger ones are away but enjoy her while she is still there spend time with her without the little ones around and then go and have an early night

seeker Sat 16-Feb-13 16:32:51

Oh, don't be silly! I presume you have sex sometimes? Or do you wait til your children leave home?

mrsjay Sat 16-Feb-13 16:33:52

or yes get her a pizza or an early tea she can go to her room or something.

Goldmandra Sat 16-Feb-13 16:39:45

It is my DH's birthday tomorrow too. We have arranged to go out to eat in the evening specifically when DD1 (15) will be there and not out with the horses over lunchtime. DD2 (9) will be with us all day.

Both our children would like to celebrate their father's birthday with him.

If we would like some time alone we will arrange it for another time when DD1 is going out (very rare but it does happen) and we will arrange for DD2 to go to a friend's house.

It doesn't have to be tonight does it?

seeker Sat 16-Feb-13 16:46:17

Is there a difference between going out to dinner without 16 year old and having a late dinner a deux at home with her upstairs watching unsuitable movies?

Tasmania Sat 16-Feb-13 16:47:51

Ehm... if you and dh want to be on your own, go have a weekend away in a countryside hotel or something. Isn't that a much more natural and romantic thing to do than trying to get very well-behaved dd out of the house?!?

Pricklypickup Sat 16-Feb-13 17:23:06

Ok think some of the comments on here are a tad harsh.

Of course I love my dd, and I love her very much.

Not too sure how us going away for the weekend and leaving her all alone is better than suggesting she goes to a friend's for a (one) night.

When younger I would arrange for her to go to a friend's house for a night for example on anniversary night. I've not forced her to go out, if I was forcing her to go out I would have made the arrangements. I just asked if she'd like to.

This afternoon she asked whether I minded if she went out tomorrow afternoon, and I said of course not and she's going off to see friends. Coincidentally she wants dropping off at the same time as her sibling is returning home! Story of my life this grin but c'est la vie.

maudpringle Sat 16-Feb-13 19:10:39

I think a lot of comments were harsh,

you gave birth to her and you don't want her around.

She didn't ask to be born, you made that choice, so she's here now and it's your obligation to give her a home until she's an adult. You can't just turf her out as you don't want to share. You made your choice 16 years ago.

What a shame for your daughter. You're behaving as if she's a visitor who's outstayed her welcome. No doubt she'll pick up on the cues and leave soon enough.

over the top,unnecessary comments.

You enjoy yourself Pricklypickup smile

Dromedary Sat 16-Feb-13 19:45:45

It's perfectly understandable that parents would ideally like the odd few hours to themselves, a bit of space, without having to go out to a restaurant, which not everyone can afford anyway (let alone a weekend at a country house). Saying that the OP will probably get her hours in 2 years' time is not much help for the moment, is it?

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