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To be pissed off with parents who believe all rules should be bent for their little darlings?

(218 Posts)
IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 21:07:45

I am a teacher. In the last few weeks I have been told that some children in my school are allergic to their school uniform, suffer with extreme cold and so need to wear coats in class, have to keep jewellery on because it is sentimental, should be allowed to use staffroom facilities to microwave their own lunch....don't even start me on phones.

DH works with much older DCs - adults, essentially - and has put up with a whole range of shite from parents recently too, making excuses for why their (fully grown) offspring should take precedence over the needs of every one else.

Of the last 20 tales we have been told between us, I reckon 1 is true, 1 is half true and the rest are absolute bollocks.

Either front up and be honest about trying to bend the rules, or just fucking accept it.

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 22:10:11

And are you still going to be dealing with this for your DCs when they are 21? Cause that is what DH puts up with.

BimbaBirba Fri 15-Feb-13 22:11:10

My point is, how do you know who's genuine and how's not if you take the attitude that parents are just pathetic like that?

BimbaBirba Fri 15-Feb-13 22:13:36

They still make them sit like that for prolonged periods of time and he's in yr 5. Doesn't happen every day but often enough. He needs calpol and ibuprofen after that.

CheerfulYank Fri 15-Feb-13 22:13:59

Well, what possible legitimate reason could there be for needing the teacher's microwave? confused

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Feb-13 22:15:08

I think that's the problem Bimba. The parents that aren't genuine making it difficult to establish who is.

Could your GP do a note to school for your DS explaining how the chair should be used?

fryingpantoface Fri 15-Feb-13 22:16:52

I don't understand why parents don't get a Drs note backing up what they are saying?

It isn't difficult, if it's a genuine reason this us something I'd do straight away. It's what my parents did for me?

(reoccuring thrush because of sexual abuse - needing to go to the toilets a lot more than usual amongst other stuff)

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 22:18:45

bimba I tend to talk to parents. And ask for medical evidence.

If there is a genuine issue, I find that most parents tell us on admission.

And if a parent tells me to fuck off then I tend to think they are a ranty twat. I can't tell them to fuck off or I would lose my job.

sherbetpips Fri 15-Feb-13 22:19:30

dayshiftdoris are the problems that you are facing psychological or physical? you mentioned anxiousness or did you mean your dc is becoming anxious due to the rashes/swelling/pain caused by the allergies.
If it is psycholigical do you feel that the schools reaction would differ if it were physical?

CloudsAndTrees Fri 15-Feb-13 22:21:39

I was wondering why parents can't get doctors letters as well. If that is impossible, then they can get written conformation of a diagnosis and then provide written information to the school about things that their children may find difficult, and things that will help or should be avoided.

Teachers are unlikely to think parents are 'pandering' if they can see what the problem is.

ivykaty44 Fri 15-Feb-13 22:22:11

when these dc go out into the world - they will have a big shock

I will say I did tell the doctor in A7E that dd1 was allergic to penicillin and he looked at me sideways and said really I hear this twenty times a day.

I explianed that if he gave it to her she would come out in hives and swell - he then explained that twenty times a day he is told by parents that there off spring or themselves are allergic - but they aren't they just dont' like the side effects of this drug.

So Op its not just you that gets these daft lies - the doc does to

herladyship Fri 15-Feb-13 22:22:20

At primary dd wore polo shirts = no problem

At secondary, moved to stiff collar blue, school shirts = skin peeling hell

School rang me, midday in September to collect her as her neck was bleeding!!

I replaced shirts, at my own expense, no complaints.. No fuss, no 'special requests' but for some people (sherbetpips) this is 'pandering'

maybe some teachers complaining about parents could advise me what the correct action should have been?? shock

Wolfiefan Fri 15-Feb-13 22:23:24

My children are the most important people in the world (to me!). I don't expect them to be exempt from rules. DS does have a medical condition. (Long and boring.) I have only asked that we are told if he gets a blow to the kidneys! I don't expect special treatment.
But then I'm a teacher. I don't want to live with pampered divas who don't believe they have any responsibility for anything, believe they are entitled to everything and rules are for the other kids.
<slopes off to the drunk thread emoticon>

confusteling Fri 15-Feb-13 22:23:36

I'm slightly worried at what's being said about uni students! I'm a student and I know a couple of uni lecturers have expected I'm being pandered to, as I get a LOT of support including a postgraduate who's employed as a 'mentor' to support me in going to class. Have also in the past had my mum phone for me when ill.. I know some requests look strange, I know an ASD lad who's allowed a cuppa during exams, but in my experience there's usually genuine reasons! It ain't much fun at 21 to need all this support.. But understanding uni staff make a huge difference smile

herladyship Fri 15-Feb-13 22:25:01

hahaha, no wonder NHS is over stretched if I asked doctor to provide a note to teacher justifying why I spent £19 OF MY OWN MONEY on a school shirt!

dayshiftdoris Fri 15-Feb-13 22:25:54

He ASD so its a sensory issue

No allergies - I was refering the example in the OP and other peoples responses.


You go by what you are told on admission....

Right that will explain why my son's needs were IGNORED for the first 2 years of his school life... I didn't know he had ASD you see so I didnt tell you...
And he didnt have extreme sensitivity to his bloody shoes until recently - wearing the tongue a bit odd one day I am told can tirgger it but I get now that I should have FORESAW these issues....

MidniteScribbler Fri 15-Feb-13 22:26:33

Bimba, it's not about the legitimate parent concerns. In your son's case, a note from the doctor and it wouldn't ever be mentioned again (at least in my school). IF there are legitimate medical conditions, special needs, or issues such as anxiety, then parents need to obtain the relevant medical documentation and approach the school directly. It's the parents who think that we're running a 5 star hotel. Some of the ones I've had:

* Little Susie likes to write in pink pen only because the other ones hurt her hands. Well find that brand in blue and black (commonly available in any grocery store) and we'll be fine. Little Susie does not NEED to write in pink pen.

* Little Mary should be allowed to change in the teachers lounge before swimming as her mummy doesn't like her to change in public changing rooms (there are ten individual cubicles that Mary can use in the change rooms, she doesn't need to go five minutes across the campus to the teachers lounge).

* Little Bobby should be able to put his lunchbox in the teachers fridge because he likes it to be cold (put a freezer brick in it FGS!).

* The best one was the parent who sent in two slices of bread, a slice of ham, and a slice of cheese with a note asking that it be toasted at lunchtime. (NO!)

Even individual "quirks" can be accommodated if the parents approach the school in the right way. I have a student that absolutely hates fruit. I mean HATES it. We have fruit time every morning. His mum approached me to discuss it, and now she sends along some cut up veges for him (which he likes) to eat at that time instead. No issue. If she'd demanded being able to send a chocolate bar or packet of crisps, then I'd have said no. But she approached me very reasonably, with a workable solution, so I didn't hesitate in saying yes.

confusteling Fri 15-Feb-13 22:26:34

I must admit though I always offer a letter of proof from my GP, overseeing psychiatrist, psychologist or disability advisor! Once I mention that they usually are pretty supportive save for the odd few who don't see disability beyond a wheelchair

fryingpantoface Fri 15-Feb-13 22:28:11

I don't understand herlady, I've worked a very long day today so I might just be being thick, but did the school say anything about the shirts? I don't remember you saying that. Your child needed new shirts, you bought them. why would you need justification?

I'm on my phone so can't scroll back properly, but I don't understand why you seem so pissed about it?

dayshiftdoris Fri 15-Feb-13 22:29:33

You know what I think I might just ask his comm paed to write he can wear slippers in school -

I was going to go to the trouble of ordering very expensive wide fit (yes I am that unlucky!) black trainers in the hope to meet school half way but it seem that rather than working with schools teachers just want a get out clause...

What sort of example is THAT to set???

Herladyship - I am a parent of your caliber but it seems are efforts are pointless - we should just get drs notes

dikkertjedap Fri 15-Feb-13 22:29:55

My dd is highly allergic to polyester, most school uniforms at least contain polyester. We resorted to buying plain cotton jumpers/cotton shirts and I made the trousers myself as we couldn't find cotton trousers (although I have since found out that Marks and Spencer sells skinkind range online but not in shops).

So an allergy is not a very good reason to not comply with the school uniform imo.

In some classrooms it can indeed be very cold, but nothing stops the kids wearing thermal underwear underneath their school uniform though.

ilovesooty Fri 15-Feb-13 22:31:03

You're posting on MN because you know it's full of teachers like you and people are going to agree with you

Rubbish. MN has teacher bashers as well as posters who are teachers.

herladyship Fri 15-Feb-13 22:32:05

I'm pissed because even though dd complies 100% with uniform policy I was then accused of 'pandering' because I paid £19 for a school shirt

herladyship Fri 15-Feb-13 22:33:14

And cited as an example of 'exactly the sort of parent' OP was complaining about shock

MidniteScribbler Fri 15-Feb-13 22:35:16

herladyship, I'm pretty sure that the person that said that isn't a teacher. So your anger is pretty misguided. Did the school actually say anything to you?

fryingpantoface Fri 15-Feb-13 22:35:19


Right! Now I understand! I genuinely wasn't trying to be funny, I get you know.

It's blatently not pandering. If your child is in a uniform, it's got fuck all to do with anyone else. Pandering would be, imo, letting her wear a pink shirt because she's allergic or just doesn't want to where a white one

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