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To be pissed off with parents who believe all rules should be bent for their little darlings?

(218 Posts)
IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 21:07:45

I am a teacher. In the last few weeks I have been told that some children in my school are allergic to their school uniform, suffer with extreme cold and so need to wear coats in class, have to keep jewellery on because it is sentimental, should be allowed to use staffroom facilities to microwave their own lunch....don't even start me on phones.

DH works with much older DCs - adults, essentially - and has put up with a whole range of shite from parents recently too, making excuses for why their (fully grown) offspring should take precedence over the needs of every one else.

Of the last 20 tales we have been told between us, I reckon 1 is true, 1 is half true and the rest are absolute bollocks.

Either front up and be honest about trying to bend the rules, or just fucking accept it.

aldiwhore Fri 15-Feb-13 21:41:17

Maybe in this modern world it's the rules that need changing?

Some are absolutely valid and logical, some are utterly pointless.

I work in a Uni and yes, when the parents ring up asking for timetables etc, and I have to say no to them, and they give me grief for it I do tire of explaining that it is the student's responsibility to find these on the website as part of their course, and no, unless the student is so ill they can't come to the phone, I cannot divulge private student details to mummy... they are other rules that make you wonder what purpose the serve other than to be just rules.

YAprobablyNBU in the vast majority of cases. YAthereforeprobablyBU in a few cases.

Remotecontrolduck Fri 15-Feb-13 21:41:19

Heat dinner in the staff room and coat on in class is taking the piss, allergic to school uniform however is believable. Sometimes rules need to be challenged as they're unreasonable. If you are allergic to the uniform you shouldn't have to suffer in silence! (Though there's every chance that's just the excuse because the child didn't fancy wearing it)

Most of the teenagers/children I know are alright, not entitled or brattish at all. Sounds like these parents are a nightmare though.

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 21:44:27

bluestocking I think I would believe it....

Bluestocking Fri 15-Feb-13 21:44:37

I'm not a member of teaching faculty, so I don't get calls about grades, but I know that parents do ring up about marks and exams. What I mainly get is parents wanting to intervene in admin matters that their student offspring should be sorting out for themselves. I have been thinking about writing a guide for the parents of students about how to conduct themselves.

TwelveLeggedWalk Fri 15-Feb-13 21:46:48

Is it really cold in class? ONly asking because I once had a form room which was previously the mortuary of hte hospital the school was on the site of. It was beyond cold. Your breath fogged up! They tried being strict about uniform in it but eventually gave up when we couldn't write neatly because our hands were too cold grin

Better wearing a coat and concetrating than neat and freezing and distracted surely?

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 21:46:51

Bluestocking, are you my husband?

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Feb-13 21:48:32

Every school I have ever set foot in has been boiling hot. grin

At DS1's old school the lockers were removed due to lack of space so they didn't wear coats at all.

chickensarmpit Fri 15-Feb-13 21:50:12

My 10 year old dd has to use the teachers loo's. she's just started her periods and gets herself into a terrible mess. It was the teachers idea to avoid embarrassment for my dd. allergic to uniforms? That's a new one on me.

MammaTJ Fri 15-Feb-13 21:50:21

YANBU but my DD has gone in to school and told the teacher she needs to wear headphones when she needs to concentrate. A genuine reason and the OT suggested it. The teacher poo pooed it and the consultant has now confirmed the need for it. I will seem like a pushy parent for insisting now. Actually, do I give a shit what a person who cannot make eye contact with me thinks?

herladyship Fri 15-Feb-13 21:50:44

YANBU for 99%

BUT school shirts commonly contain several chemical nasties in the collar!!

dd has has sore/bleeding eczema on her neck caused by school shirts confused

I've had to source eczema friendly versions online for £19 EACH blush

SirBoobAlot Fri 15-Feb-13 21:51:32

Heating dinner in the staff room is genius.

However... I suffer from severe anxiety and was bullied at school. One of the things the bullies used to do was hold my arms down and cut my wrists. Having bare wrists made me horrifically anxious and vulnerable, and it is only in recent years that I have been able to cope without them being covered by sweat bands / bangles. It was against the school rules, it was the only way I could get through the day though. I tried explaining why I needed to wear them, got no sympathy. So I broke the rules, daily, and argued the toss each time I was called on it.

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Fri 15-Feb-13 21:51:47

Well dd (8) has some issues regulating her body temperature so on cold days has to wear a coat inside.

BlatantLies Fri 15-Feb-13 21:53:22

We lived in a country where the daytime temperatures could easily be in the high 30's. The DC's were required to wear their blazers all the time while some of the teachers would be wearing spaghetti strap tops. hmm

I never said anything though.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Feb-13 21:55:12

Also at DS's old school they were told when it was cold enough to wear a jumper. No wearing it before that. I thought it was a bit odd but they were the rules.

Bluestocking Fri 15-Feb-13 21:56:00

Maybe I am, IAmLouisWalsh. Is he thinking of writing a book? We could collaborate.

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 21:57:10

If there is a genuine case, then obviously I am sympathetic. But uniform allergy does not develop suddenly overnight only to be cured by wearing an Adidas top. And every classroom is not freezing.

We are actually an incredibly reasonable school. Fuck knows how they would cope elsewhere!

BimbaBirba Fri 15-Feb-13 21:59:40

You're posting on MN because you know it's full of teachers like you and people are going to agree with you.
Let me tell you, it's stupid to follow the rules blindly and not allow for exceptions. For example my DS has bone pain that lasts for days when he's made to sit on the floor rather than on a chair at school, for example in assembly. I have asked his teacher to let him sit on a chair not because he's a PFB but rather because the act of bending the rule would mean that he doesn't have to suffer for days. Guess what, the teacher fobbed me off like you would have. Children are individuals with personal and differing needs. It's insensitive to label their needs as a nuisance like you do.
Change jobs if this is how you feel.

sherbetpips Fri 15-Feb-13 22:00:39

£19 for a school shirt? Exactly the point the OP is making.
It is worrying to think of how are dc's will cope in the future whilst we all pander to them. Whilst I would love to pretend I don't I am as prone to the hysteria as the next parent.

Sparklingbrook Fri 15-Feb-13 22:01:33

Bimba the teacher shouldn't have fobbed you off. Yours is obviously a genuine case. That is not what Louis is talking about.

fryingpantoface Fri 15-Feb-13 22:05:31

Bloody hell Bimba.

Get a Drs note to back your case. If its genuine then the OP isn't having a go, made up ones (which she's on about) are ridiculous.

Wind your neck in love

dayshiftdoris Fri 15-Feb-13 22:06:12

Its hard because I have had to ask for my child to be 'pandered' to almost the whole of his school life... most of it has been a suggestion on my part to issues that school have brought to me and then they have said no even when I have offered to do the leg work...

I am pretty sure that it's been talked about in the staff room because of my 'ridiculous' requests...

These days I don't take it to heart: you see I learnt to put my requests in writing so that I could slam the bastard piece paper down in front of useless school when they brought it up as their idea months down the line... usually because he was risking exclusion again or was anxious to the point of chewing his arms.

You want a school that doesnt want to be inclusive then create a dictatorship that does not allow for individual difference to be understood. I am not talking about pandering for no reason but already in your OP you have referred to being allergic to a school uniform as being 'pandering', laughable as another poster said yet more than one reply has indicated that this is very much the truth for some children.

We are on are 3rd pair of shoes since Dec due to my ds being absolutely unable to tolerate them - I am not willing to buy a fourth pair and I have already told school that if this pair are the same then I will be sending him in black trainers or plimsols.

nice to know I'll be accused of 'pandering' by teachers who have NO idea of what our lives are like nor have the empathy to attempt to try and understand.

There will always be parents that take the mick but the danger comes when you believe us all to be the same

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 22:06:42

bimba you have clearly misread me. No way would I fob you off. However, if you were to tell me that your son's pain also meant I should make him a brew first thing in the morning I would tell you to get knotted.

IAmLouisWalsh Fri 15-Feb-13 22:08:30

As I have said, allergy to uniform is believable. Sudden allergy to any clothes costing less than £50 and bearing a designer label is not.

sherbetpips Fri 15-Feb-13 22:08:43

bimbabirba out of interest the bone pain is a chronic condition exacerbated by unsupported sitting? How Long do they make them sit that way? I think after infants they don't really do the cross legged on the floor thing do they? I suppose it depends on the school. Get a note from the docs then neither he or you has to suffer and the teacher should be more understanding.

herladyship Fri 15-Feb-13 22:09:57


Do fuck off

If your dc had eczema, aggravated by school shirts to the point of bleeding.. I HOPE you would be a decent enough parent to take some action to alleviate their suffering confused

if that is 'pandering' I will gladly be a 'panderer'

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