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To hate the school gate

(164 Posts)
littlebillie Fri 15-Feb-13 18:56:27

That's it I hate it!

Maryz Fri 15-Feb-13 22:22:45

You know, sm, I hate to rain on your parade, but some people talk to others at the school gate because they like them and enjoy chatting to them.

When ds2 started school I knew the parents of more than half his class, because they had been to the same parent and toddler group. He is 14 now, and at least a dozen of his best friends he has known since he was less than a year old.

His friends' parents are my friends.

And, even though I knew a lot of people I was always happy to meet new ones. By the time he had been 8 years in primary school I knew pretty much every parent of every child in his class, through schoolgate/party/sleepover/sports.

I was never on the pta though.

scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 22:27:25

I'm nonplussed why would you think I'm bothered about your schoolgate life
it's functional,as I see it drop and hoo haw,no parade, plenty dreich rain
if it's becomes ones social network,good for's. not mine though

Maryz Fri 15-Feb-13 22:30:44

I'm just baffled that you translate "talking to people" as "gossiping, bragging, checking out clothes, getting involved in politics" etc.

Most people are just talking to other people.

Obviously you find chatting just as much of a waste of time in real life as you do on here [baffled]

DonderandBlitzen Fri 15-Feb-13 22:33:30

we have been out together and spent time together. Today I was ignored and they were acting like I had the plague.

Stuff like this is sometimes child related, ie. your child has upset there's. Could this be it?

DonderandBlitzen Fri 15-Feb-13 22:34:12


scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 22:35:05

Mary your being gripey,and bit goady.I'm not biting.too obvious
what I will say is you've not been to my school gate,so how would you know
numerous threads on mn attest parents find it cliquey,gossipy,braggy.because it is

Maryz Fri 15-Feb-13 22:37:06

Crying with laughter at you calling me gripey and goady sm.

I just have to mention pot-kettle-black


scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 22:41:30


quesadilla Fri 15-Feb-13 22:42:20

I occasionally fantasise about being a sahm and when I think about all this school gate bullshit I remember why I'm glad I'm not...
Life is too short to have to worry about crap like this...

scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 22:44:10

indeed,it's a minor and insignificant part of parenting
keep it simple

weegiemum Fri 15-Feb-13 22:48:17

I'm so glad my dc go to a school where they (and most of the rest) get a bus! I can stay in my nightie till lunch (the bus picks them up from the end of the road) and as long as I'm in by 4, all is well!

DeepRedBetty Fri 15-Feb-13 22:53:29

I rather miss school gate now that ddtwins are at Big School. They're yr 9 now, I had my birthday party this week and six primary school gate 'mummy's' were guests. 'mummy's' as one was actually a daddy... I'm quite lucky, I think our primary was comparatively civilised at pick-up (although we did once have a bitch-fight, highly entertaining). DSis isn't having nearly such a good time with hers, different school in same area.

There were times in the earlier days when I really felt like everyone was in on a secret except me, but the outgoing PTA organised a post pickup tea-and-cake session which brought most of us together, about four weeks in, and after that I never looked back. They had a massive ulterior motive of course, they armtwisted about six of us new parents into taking on the PTA.

And we did exactly the same a year later grin!

DeepRedBetty Fri 15-Feb-13 22:55:07

And just to clarify, only one of the six who came to my birthday party was one of the PTA Chosen Ones, before anyone starts thinking I'm a Quiche.

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 15-Feb-13 23:02:22

I pick up my dc from school, smile at the people nearest to me and start chatting if I can be bothered. They do the same. They're just people at the school gate, not best friends or anything. I dont get all the school angst stuff. If you are starting to feel bothered about someones behaviour try and step back a bit emotionally. You are just there to drop off and pick up your child. If you make friends along the way, great. If you don't, does it matter so much as long as your child is happy?

DonderandBlitzen Fri 15-Feb-13 23:02:32

There have been a couple of bitch fights at school but I always seem to miss them. sad It's so disappointing. They sound brilliant! grin There is quite a shy male teacher at the school and the poor bloke had to break one of them up by saying "Ladies! Ladies!" Why did I miss that? (weep)

scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 23:03:03

our PTA meet daytimes,working parents couldn't participate as clash with work

depob Fri 15-Feb-13 23:04:53

Oh god I remember the tattooed ladies armed with fags and what seemed like 5 preschoolers each (just about possible I suppose). They grouped around the gate so had to push through and made snotty remarks whatever you said or did. So pleased we are at secondary school now and I no longer have to put up with it. They reminded me of the catty 13/14 year-old girl gangs when I was at school. Don't think they got round to growing up apart from learning how to breed.

MyDarlingClementine Fri 15-Feb-13 23:05:39

Its the dynamics of it that make it akward and difficult.
Having to walk there like on stage. Its like some churches at communion, the ailse becomes a fashion parade.
The problem is - once people do know each other quite well, they will naturally go and have a good chat with people they know.
It is hard if you dont know them!
If your a little shy and bit awkard, it makes the whole thing even more stressful, even more shy and even more akward and even less likely to talk to someone.

scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 23:08:20

haha,yes the parading about gawping at who's wearing what. peculiar

akaemmafrost Fri 15-Feb-13 23:16:25

The key is not to invest in it. I honestly don't allow myself to get caught up in it.

Some days I honestly can't be arsed to talk, just want to get my kid and go home. Some days I might be having a panic/anxiety attack (yes really) and all I want to do is drop off/get dd and get the flock out of there. Some days I am in the mood to chat but others aren't so I talk to dd instead who is a lot more interesting tbh. I honestly don't care if people are offish or unfriendly.

See the school gates as part of the dull daily routine as washing the dishes and you'll be fine.

theisleofsheppey Fri 15-Feb-13 23:17:51

turn up fifty seconds before school opens

time to the nanosecond

EnjoyResponsibly Fri 15-Feb-13 23:20:58

Don't be so fucking wet.

It's a place to pick up kids.

Chat, don't chat. He happy.

At most it's 10 minutes out of 24 hours.

Plus if you smile rather than skulk you'll get a better reaction.

scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 23:21:06

I do like being caricatured as rushes about working mum suits me just fine

akaemmafrost Fri 15-Feb-13 23:21:10

Oh there was a massive scrap at ds's old school. Two Mum's punching each other and hitting with shoes all over the playground! Next day they were going round to everyone trying to get their side of the story in and amass forces.

scottishmummy Fri 15-Feb-13 23:22:49

why make it 10min when can skillfully get down to 50seconds.genius

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