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to ask for an elective ceseran even though theres no reason i cant have a normal delivery?

(178 Posts)
ditsydoll Tue 12-Feb-13 20:34:57

There's absolutely no medical reason that I couldn't give birth. I have a wonderful almost 4yo DD and had a pretty good delivery with her.

However, this time round I'm terrified, not of the pain but of something happening to be during labour or birth.

I keep having nightmares about dying and leave my beautiful DD without a mum. It's really starting to get to me and its just making me miserable. I keep trying to forget about it and enjoy my pregnancy and DD but it's starting to consume me.

Tried talking to Dp and he thinks I'm being silly.


Fairylea Tue 12-Feb-13 21:05:09

I had an elective cs with ds after a difficult first vaginal birth.

It turned out I had undiagnosed placenta previa so I would have needed a cs anyway but they didn't know that till the op!

Personally I would opt for a cs over a vaginal birth anyday. I appreciate I'm comparing my difficult and painful recovery to a "normal" birth but for me the recovery from the cs was easier and less painful.

I wouldn't hesitate to have another cs.

LivingThings Tue 12-Feb-13 21:11:35

Had both mine by ELCS by choice on NHS. Guess it was more the fear of the consequences of a 'bad' VB which I used to convince the consultant I was serious and not fear of labour if you understand what i mean (not that there is any way on earth a VB appeals to me). Didn't have to have any counselling for it either.

seaweed74 Tue 12-Feb-13 21:14:48

Vaginal births can be good, CS can be good. Both can also be bad. Please speak to your dr/MW about your concerns and don't assume that a CS is a totally safe alternative.

DSis had an awful induction with her dd resulting in failed ventouse, followed by forceps delivery, then hr and half in theatre being sew back together. Having been left with only some muscle weakness rectally, Dsis thought she'd been "lucky" and didn't want to risk a second vaginal delivery so went for an elective CS.

The moment the surgeon made an incision Dsis began to haemorrhage. She recalls hearing her partner being told to stand by the wall and not move, blood bank being called and the crash team. She was awake throughout. Dsis had enlarged blood vessels. Lost 2.5 litres of blood.

She and her baby ds were & are ok. Dsis has been advised by several medical professionals not to have more children as same could happen.

This is not meant to terrify you, just to make it clear that CS has its risks too. Dsis doesn't regret her decision to have ECS as she cannot of course predict what would have happened if she'd attempted a second vaginal delivery.

You need to talk to someone about your fears and make the best decision for you and your baby. All the best op.

WidowWadman Tue 12-Feb-13 21:15:14

In my book having a baby-sized baby inside your belly which needs to come out is enough reason to ask for a Caesarean. Nothing unreasonable about that.

BadDayAtTheOrifice Tue 12-Feb-13 21:16:05

If your main worry is of something happening to you during your birth then please remember that a spontaneous labour and birth of a second baby is statistically the safest birth you can have.

I was shit scared waiting to go into labour with my second. Ignorance was bliss the first time around- I didn't know what I had to worry about. I felt similar to you in that this time I had more fear. I'd also had such a good experience the first time aound, I was worried I wouldn't get that again.

When it came to it, it was so quick and relatively 'easy', it was almost an 'anti-climax' because I'd built it up so much IYSWIM (I had a home birth)
It was great and things happened so quickly I didn't have time to worry, I was excited.

Talk to people. Ask for an appointment with a consultant to discuss your fears and discuss options. Research cesareans. Consider a homebirth (statistically the safest 'mode' of birth for low risk multips) Good luck.

Notcontent Tue 12-Feb-13 21:16:23

Just want to make a few things clear:
- you cannot compare an emergency CS to a planned/elective one - a planned one can be a fabulous, relaxing experience;
- a vb is great so long as nothing goes wrong - but it is definitely not risk free!
- if you have any tearing/cutting during your vb, then recovery is going to take longer and the effects longer lasting than CS;
- under the NHS you can insist on having a CS - it's just a matter of educating yourself a bit and not letting yourself be bullied into doing something you don't want to.

hairyqueenofscots Tue 12-Feb-13 21:16:52

had a horrible c/s, hate when folk think its the easy option sad

PolkadotCircus Tue 12-Feb-13 21:18:20

Go for it C/ss are sooooo safe,they really are if you're healthy.Even for those that aren't the risks are slightly higher so it's a very small risk.

Also the injuries you can get with a vb are often swept under the carpet and not that great to live with.

Both of mine were fab and I am a complete chicken was also up and about very quickly(quicker than the vb on one ward I was on).

Notcontent Tue 12-Feb-13 21:19:15

And yes, of course a CS has risks. But I think it's time women allowed to weigh up those risks and make their own decision.

doublecakeplease Tue 12-Feb-13 21:21:26

Had an emcs - found it very clinical, unnatural and quite unnerving being so out of control. Hated not being able to feel my legs. Hated the catheter. Hate the belly overhang. Hated comments from peopp who said 'ah well at least you had an easy time instead if a proper birth'

BUT i was desperate for a vaginal birth - had done my research, trusted my body etc so i am biased!

Stangirl Tue 12-Feb-13 21:21:44

YANBU I had 2 elective cs because of anxiety over birth. NHS - no questions asked. Oh - and recovery was easy for me and I'm old (over 40) and very unfit.

fluffypillow Tue 12-Feb-13 21:22:12

I've had two natural VBs and then a c-section. LOVED the c-section. Calm, stress free, wonderful, amazing, quick recovery and TOTALLY PAIN FREE!

Seriously, I would choose a c-section over a VB anyday.

My GP has has two elective c-sections because of all the natural births she has seen go wrong - no word of a lie!

If it's what you want, then don't be fobbed off. I had to jump through hoops, but I stuck to my guns, and I'm so glad I did.

Please don't let others make you feel guilty either, your body, your choice.

Notcontent Tue 12-Feb-13 21:22:19

Yes, exactly as Polka says...

Midwives don't tend to mention bowel incontinence or painful scarring, do they...

Stangirl Tue 12-Feb-13 21:22:48

Personally I did find it v v easy.

seaweed74 Tue 12-Feb-13 21:26:06

CS and VB have risks. Of course women should be allowed to weigh up the risks either way and make an informed choice, but please be aware that either method of giving birth has risks that cannot necessarily be foreseen. The choice should be informed, recognising risks and advantages of both. There is no magic answer. What's best for one woman and her dc might not be best for another.

gordyslovesheep Tue 12-Feb-13 21:30:34

it's ultimately your decision but I would discuss your worries with your MW - hospitals have specialist services for anxious/scared mothers

I had an emergency section with DD1, VBAC (with assisted traumatic delivery) with DD2, VBAC that turned into a section with DD3

In hindsight I should have had 3 nice calm elective sections grin

MyDarlingClementine Tue 12-Feb-13 21:31:09

I had a so called wonderful medically first VB. I wasn't in established labour for long either and had one small tear - pethadine, Dh massaging me, wonderful MW's, moving round - there was nothing really that could have gone better.


Mentally and emotionally it was horrible and I didn't want to do it again. I was battered by the time the baby came, three nights no sleep, cyring every time went to the loo etc etc etc....

I would much rather if something was going to go wrong, it went wrong in a theatre with staff all round me, than totally vulnerable with a baby stuck inside me. I also much rathered have stiches where I could see them, than down where the sun don't shine.

I had my ELC, and I was scared, I fainted, I worried about infection, about everything, the recovery was straight forward but not pleasant, however I made sure I made it as easy as possible for myself in terms of support and equipment.

The run up was calm, when the baby came I was calm, mentally and emotionally fine to just adore her and look after her.

NOW, several months on, physically I feel 100 times better than after my so called wonderful delivery.

I most definalty feel better down below - my back feels fine, whereas ached and hurt for ages after VB.

Out of my NCt group of 6 ladies, myself and another lady came through unscathed - all second labours, two were horrific - two were episiotmoy. Out of my friends I had one straight forward delivery including myself and I would have lost 5 friends if it were not for modern medicine.

Want2bSupermum Tue 12-Feb-13 21:31:52

With DD I was given the option of a CS because of my back. I ended up being induced after I got preclampsia. After 24hrs of labour they did a CS.

I remember speaking to my Dad and telling him that I didn't feel right. I assumed it was normal pregnancy discomfort. It wasn't, DD stopped growing at 37wks and part of the placenta had stopped functioning. We are darn lucky that she is fine.

IMO this isn't about being unreasonable. Sometimes you just know and if you have that gut instinct I would suggest you speak to someone about what your gut is telling you. When i spoke up my obn listened to me and started running all the tests. Thats when they found the problem and started the induction. I developed preclampsia 12hrs after they started the induction.

SausageInnaBun Tue 12-Feb-13 21:40:38

I am terrified of giving birth but also terrified of surgery (I'm not having anymore kids partly due to this). I felt exactly as you do during my second pregnancy, I was so scared. I completely freaked out during early labour but then managed to calm down and focus on a safe birth. Labour was very straight forward, I was fine, DS2 was fine and DS1 stayed overnight at my friends house and was also fine. I remember feeling intense relief after giving birth and knowing that it was all over and done with.
I think sometimes hormones can make us feel anxious and also in my case a very close family member had severe complications and almost died during childbirth (very rare complications and also a very complicated pregnancy) so it made me more aware that it happens.
It's likely that all will be fine though OP and I think a vaginal birth is actually safer than a c section.

vacuuming Tue 12-Feb-13 21:47:44

I had an emcs. I never had any issues with it despite having been gung ho about natural birth beforehand. Afterwards, one of my mummy friends was the wife of a gynae and a medical professional herself. She nodded sagely when I told her I would be looking for a CS next time around and told me that you would be hard pushed to find a gynae who's wife had a natural birth. I will be looking for a CS for sure.

MikeOxardAndWellard Tue 12-Feb-13 21:53:54

Don't do it! I had a horrendous vaginal birth including episiotomy that got infected, and I also had an emergency c section. Even though the v birth was bad and took some recovering from, recovery from the csec was so much worse. I could barely move, couldn't pick up baby for ages, couldn't twist or bend or drive. Everything was so much harder for a long time.

PolkadotCircus Tue 12-Feb-13 22:06:30

I was up the same day after my twins c/s(combined weight of 14lbs).smile

BarredfromhavingStella Tue 12-Feb-13 22:06:51

It's your decision but the recovery time is longer & despite what some on this thread think, vb aren't that bad.

whois Tue 12-Feb-13 22:11:10

I wonder how many of the "CS recovery was awful" camp was elective or emergency? You can't compare the two.

I am 99% certain I'll be asking for an elective CS if I get pg. the thought about pushing something so huge out, fucking up my pelvic floor, tearing, the pain, the exhaustion, the uncertainty. Fuck. That. I'll have a date booked in, be awake and pain free and hopefully have a good recovery.

foreverondiet Tue 12-Feb-13 22:12:14

I think unreasonable as for someone with no medical issues and history of a normal vb another vb is safer (ie less chance of dying) than a cs.

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