Before I get flamed, I realise we are relatively lucky and that there are many people here on MN and IRL that manage much more difficult lives. However, I would still welcome advice for those of you who have done it all before.
I have just got back from maternity leave and am about to be made redundant from my lovely part-time job. I am in a senior role within my (male-dominated) industry and although there are new jobs out there, none of them is part-time. DH works in the same industry and is about to start a new full-time job. We have a toddler and a baby. The toddler goes to nursery part-time and the baby is looked after by a full-time nanny.
I have been working part-time since DC1 was a baby, but the job has always fitted around our family, so we have become quite reliant on me picking up all the family-related jobs: I take the children to their hospital appointments (usually at 2/3pm during the week), I talk to their teachers, I do the shopping, run the household, cook, organise our and our children's social lives, extracurricular activities etc. I have not quantified this in hours per week, but ti is quite a lot. It is rare that I get time to read the paper, let alone watch TV or do something for myself. I do read MN while breastfeeding DC2.
Now I am concerned that once I start a new job, I will basically need to leave the house at 8.15 and not return until 6.30 (possibly 6 if I am very lucky). DC2 still wakes and feeds several times per night and DC1 has just given up his nap, so on most evenings he goes to bed at 7. DH at the moment leaves the house around 8.30 (usually walking DC1 to nursery once or twice a week) and returns around 6.30 (which is early for his job). DH goes to the gym during lunchtime at the moment, I am supposed to have an exercise class one evening a week but dread it and hate that it sucks two precious hours out of my week.
I am worried that the children will almost never see us and that I will have to take time off from sleeping to do household chores (online shop, batch cooking, etc) and that it will always end up being me who has to take time off for hospital appointments, teachers, etc. Consequently, I think children, relationship and work quality are going to suffer.
However, I know there are plenty of women in senior jobs who have working husbands and children and manage it fine, so please do come and tell me I should not worry and just do what you do (with details of how to do it, please).
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AIBU?
to wonder how we are going to manage when I start working fulltime?
50 replies
SuiGeneris · 12/02/2013 11:23
OP posts:
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