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to not know what unconditional parenting is?!

(853 Posts)
GirlOutNumbered Mon 11-Feb-13 20:54:19

Just read it on a thread. I have no idea what this is?

MolotovCocktail Tue 12-Feb-13 10:50:03

I have no idea, either. Either YANBU or we're both BU!

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 10:52:09

is it a parenting style confused

MolotovCocktail Tue 12-Feb-13 10:56:23

Evidently, Mrsjay but what does it entail?

flow4 Tue 12-Feb-13 11:04:57

I'd say it's impossible, that's what! grin

flow4 Tue 12-Feb-13 11:06:00

Link to Alfie Kohn website

Wewereherefirst Tue 12-Feb-13 11:06:58

You don't discipline the child is the main thing, I really can't see how not disciplining helps make an adult, but I want to be educated more in it.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Tue 12-Feb-13 11:08:16

never heard of it but from the name sounds like you don't discipline them at all and just let them behave how they like. Can't be that though!!!

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood Tue 12-Feb-13 11:09:14

Ther you go, it's an 'earth shattering paradigm'

So yes you claearly ABU


Wewereherefirst Tue 12-Feb-13 11:12:08

I love how the author tries to guilt trip with the love= no rewards.

I bloody loved getting rewarded as a child. But now I know my parents didn't love me [sob]

SavoyCabbage Tue 12-Feb-13 11:13:27

It's where your child is going upside down on a metal handrail over a flight of concrete steps with my child.

Then they get stuck upside down over aforementioned concrete steps.

A random woman has to bolt across the playground and prise them off the precarious metal bar.

And you say 'that must have been very frightening' to your child whilst I am yelling 'don't you dare do that again! You could split your head open' at my child.

At least that's what happened to me this afternoon.

SelfRighteousPrissyPants Tue 12-Feb-13 11:15:43

You don't not discipline them you just try reasoning with them and treating them like humans rather than dogs to perform for a biscuit therefore the lack of rewards thing.

givemeaclue Tue 12-Feb-13 11:18:10

You allow them to be spoilt brats

choceyes Tue 12-Feb-13 11:23:16

I've tried reasoning with my 4yr old and 2yr old and it hardly ever works. And the offer of a biscuit or a bit of chocolate at the right time does wonders smile

I condider myself to be an AP type of parent in that I natural term BF, co-sleep, sling etc etc, but unconditional parenting, home schooling and elimination communication (although can see the logic in EC) are methods I could never use.

Startail Tue 12-Feb-13 11:27:05

If it had been DD1 climbing the rails, I'd be the one looking the other way and ignoring the child totally.

DD1 climbed everything, she always sorted herself out eventually.

OTheHugeManatee Tue 12-Feb-13 11:33:15

Sounds to me like a recipe for raising adults who have learned by example to be hostile to authority and afraid of their own aggression.

GirlOutNumbered Tue 12-Feb-13 11:38:02

elimination communication!? Whats that!? Have I been living under a rock or do I just not read up on what I am supposed to be doing.

I teach. Children need boundaries and routine (particularly boys). They really really do. They don't though need reward, I do agree with that.

However, I have given my son a toy car recently for how well he behaved at the hairdressers!!

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood Tue 12-Feb-13 11:44:56

<waits patiently to find out what EC is>

wreckedone Tue 12-Feb-13 11:47:38

EC is where you don't use nappies, but you watch for the child's cues that they need to go and hold them over a sink/bin/toilet for them to do their stuff...

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 11:48:48

Evidently, Mrsjay but what does it entail?

I think it is when children run free range grin .

Elimination communication is when you watch for clues to when your child is going to poop and put them over a potty or 'something'

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 12-Feb-13 11:48:53

EC = elimination communication ie trying to get your DC to wee/poo in toilet from birth.

I did EC lite and have had very few dirty nappies since about 6 months.

wreckedone Tue 12-Feb-13 11:49:09

I think kids do need rewards, but those rewards can often be being told that mummy/daddy/alternative caregiver are pleased with what they did. I am so far from UC it's unreal-sometimes I probably sound like I'm talking to a dog, but my lad is very happy and seems to like being told he's a clever lad,well done etc.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 12-Feb-13 11:49:31

And you can use nappies - just try and keep them clean and dry

wreckedone Tue 12-Feb-13 11:50:37

I didn't know that-I thought EC shunned nappies :-)

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 12-Feb-13 11:51:10

One of the things with UP is you want your child to be self motivated and proud of themselves when they achieve. Not trying to achieve to make your or someone else happy, or to receive a reward.

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