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. . . to feel a bit pissy about giving someone's kid a lift

(104 Posts)
spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 07:48:04

I offered as they have 2 smaller kids that were out in the cold at night for a 8 o clock pick up on foot. It's not out of my way but will make things a bit more hectic than usual! Just became aware they are rather proud themselves in a hippy type way for managing without a car and actually, compared to myself, are very well off. I will still do it, and not a biggy, but do you think if people are all preachy about not having a car or the expense that goes with it, they should accept lifts ?

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 11-Feb-13 11:58:30


You made a kind offer, out of concern for the two smaller siblings (question: if there are two parents why couldn't one do the pick up and one stay with the other children?) under the mistaken belief that they couldn't stretch to a car. You then find out that they pride themselves on not having a car. despite "always asking for lifts and saying their kids were freezing having to walk in the snow".

So they are hypocrites, pure and simple; and if anyone is sneering at the other, it sounds as if it is them, not you. And I think they set you up, guilted you into it.

You also said "Now they are posting stuff about the cost to the environment and our children's future through making unecessary car journeys." - where are they posting this? Could you leave a comment along the lines of 'so you won't be wanting lifts any more then?'.

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 11:54:57

I must admit, I felt a modicum of chagrin.

Writehand Mon 11-Feb-13 11:51:36

I can't drive, and if I could I couldn't afford a car anyway. All my friends have cars but I very seldom take or am offered lifts. I'm always very conscious that they cost money to run, and I can't offer a lift in return, though I do have 2 town centre car parking spaces in front of my house to offer, which friends often use.

If someone offered my snowbound kids a lift I'd be grateful and so would they. But it's a silly OP. YABTU. If you didn't want to give them a life, why did you? People who always cope without cars usually have a plan. We don't live our lives in expectation that car-owning friends will fit in with rescue us.

I'm always reluctant to ask, There is one exception. Recently I've been accepting a lift to the supermarket every week from my neighbour. She takes her cousin too, and we have coffee at the end. It's a nice little social interlude for me. I get isolated, as I'm forced to work from home because one of my kids is disabled.

lljkk Mon 11-Feb-13 11:34:18

i actually offered cos i presumed they were hard up

I get that reaction a lot too, I have 2 perfectly functional cars on the drive I choose to only rarely use for local journeys. So I cycle & walk, even in the rain & cold. Many days I get whinging from DC about the horrible 10 minute walk to school hmm. (Dodging the dog mess part is horrible). Everyone assumes I'm skint and carless. Weird.

I can understand why OP feels narked if the other family really are Holier-Than-Thou about their lifestyle choice. I presume they've actually "posted" their views widely on FB? I'd be just as hmm, doubt I'd offer any lifts any future, either, unless It amused me to hear them expand on their delusions.

Thumbwitch Mon 11-Feb-13 11:28:38

Isn't pissy short for pissed off? I'd be mildly irked/miffed by the sanctimonious attitude and think "well next time I won't be offering you a lift then"

It's a bit like the old proverb, isn't it - don't bite the hand that feeds you.

I think that you are probably not unreasonable, actually, but have explained yourself badly (sorry) - it appears that you offered the lift in good faith and kindness of your heart, and then during the lift were preached at about your feckless waste of resources - in which case I'd have considered asking them to hop out then since they had such a problem with it. But then, I get pissy quite easily too! grin

OHforDUCKScake Mon 11-Feb-13 11:27:00

Tbh that would piss me off too OP.

If I offered someones child(ren) a lift Id expect a thank you, not mocking. Being laughed at. Then reading about their slating of car drivers

PickledInAPearTree Mon 11-Feb-13 11:26:20

1) livid
2) fuming
3) angry
4) pissy
5) arsey
6) cross
7) miffed

DameMargotFountain Mon 11-Feb-13 11:23:31

only if you don't know your arse from your urethra wink

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 11:12:56

I think pissy is equal to arsey. grin

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 11:02:45

Signora . . . I said i was feeling pissy, not fuming. Don't exaggerate. Pissy is way down the scale and even comes before arsey.

YellowDinosaur Mon 11-Feb-13 10:54:57

Only a dick slags off the cost if running the car that is taking them home


BelindaCarlisle Mon 11-Feb-13 10:47:32

Lol at hot pink

AThingInYourLife Mon 11-Feb-13 10:46:34

But if they were nice people and not scrounging bastards dressing their poncing up as environmentalism, they would have said something like

"Oh, that's so nice of you. When the weather is better next term, we'll pick up your child and walk him home every week."

Thus actually saving some of those unnecessary journeys they claim to be so worried about.

Only a dick slags off the cost if running the car that is taking them home.

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 10:31:53

It reminds me of the time i begrudgingly offered a vegetarian my last mini pepperami just so i could post on mn about it.

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 10:28:20

And to be honest. . My car is a state and the insurance cost is laughable

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 10:27:24

So keep your precious car,and don't other anyone a lift then.

Easy,no more feeling pissy.

DameMargotFountain Mon 11-Feb-13 10:25:44

but he's right there, lots of car journeys are unnecessary

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 10:25:35

I was answering a question usualsuspect

mrsjay Mon 11-Feb-13 10:25:16

Laughed! and went on about most car journeys being unecessary and don't justify the cost to the environment..blah

why didnt you stop and ask her to get out as she was contributing to her own carbon footprint or some such rubbish dont offer again

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 10:24:10

Drip drip drip.

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 10:23:39

Glad you like it HotPink. Incidentally . . AIBAT in your opinion? smile

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 10:21:21

On the way back he asked how much my banger cost to insure etc. . Laughed! and went on about most car journeys being unecessary and don't justify the cost to the environment..blah

Isthisme Mon 11-Feb-13 10:21:08

Yeah so, isn't that what MN is for? confused

SignoraStronza Mon 11-Feb-13 10:17:42

Ok, you perhaps didn't present your offer of a lift in a begrudging manner. In fact, to all appearances, you offered in good grace whilst fuming inside at their lifestyle choices.

You then begrudged doing it so much that you felt it worthy of a MN thread.

HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen Mon 11-Feb-13 10:14:04

Personally I think the op should be applauded. If she hadn't posted she wouldn't have come up with the concept of

Am I just being a twat?

Which as a topic, I would like to see MNHQ implement immediately. It would be excellent.

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