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. . . to feel a bit pissy about giving someone's kid a lift

(104 Posts)
spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 07:48:04

I offered as they have 2 smaller kids that were out in the cold at night for a 8 o clock pick up on foot. It's not out of my way but will make things a bit more hectic than usual! Just became aware they are rather proud themselves in a hippy type way for managing without a car and actually, compared to myself, are very well off. I will still do it, and not a biggy, but do you think if people are all preachy about not having a car or the expense that goes with it, they should accept lifts ?

Booyhoo Mon 11-Feb-13 09:36:29

umm. ok. hmm confused

gorionine Mon 11-Feb-13 09:42:33

You should name change to meanspiritedaway, sorry but you are offered and then moaned and this is not very kind. YABU!

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 09:42:34

When i offered the lift i presumed they were hard up, since discovered that they choose not to drive and slate people who do run a car.. Seeker do you even know what feeling pissy means? I have never considered myself to be mean spirited but hey. . Thanks. I will ask for the thread to be moved to Am I just a Twat

mrsjay Mon 11-Feb-13 09:43:09

YABU you offered I am sure they can wrap their kids up to walk to pick up dont be all concerned then pissed off for doing it, they didnt ask you you offered, I am not seeing what the problem is just because you are offeneded they dont have a car,

valiumredhead Mon 11-Feb-13 09:43:42

Your OP is extremely mean spirited. It IS mean spirited to offer a lift and then bitch about it.

Jules666 Mon 11-Feb-13 09:43:52

YANBU - I can sort of see where you're coming from. I think you offered because you thought they weren't able to afford a car of their own and then felt a bit annoyed with them slagging off people who drive but quite happy asking for lifts.

I know a couple of people who can drive but are always happy to go somewhere if someone else is driving but won't return the favour as they 'don't like driving'!

comingintomyown Mon 11-Feb-13 09:44:30


Plus I love all lift, parking, driveway related threads grin

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 09:45:47

Do you only offer poor people lifts without being pissy about it then?

PureQuintessence Mon 11-Feb-13 09:45:56

Yanbu. They ask for lifts and clearly wants to benefit from other peoples car ownership, yet they berate people for running a car?

Hypocritical nutters.

BelindaCarlisle Mon 11-Feb-13 09:46:36

Mind you if they choose no car then their kids will freeze.
Maybe you should have just carried on your evil polluting ways ;)

DameMargotFountain Mon 11-Feb-13 09:46:50

do the family a favour and don't offer in future

i'd hate a 'friend' of mine to be slagging my values off online

seeker Mon 11-Feb-13 09:47:34

They didn't ask- the Op offered.

Apparently she only offers lifts to poor people.

BelindaCarlisle Mon 11-Feb-13 09:48:10

I think the "why offer if you resent it" lot ate vein unreasonable.
None of you ever do a favour thinking "this is a pita but hey". Ever? Just dream of unicorns all the time?

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 09:48:24

Enjoy cominginto smile Tho apparently, IAJAT

scaevola Mon 11-Feb-13 09:48:34

DH worked away (with the car) for several months recently. I accepted a lot of lifts which I had no means of returning in the short term, and I'm really grateful I have such generous friends.

We are trying to even it up now! And I did do a fair amount of ferrying non-related children around with mine on public transport.

Merl0t Mon 11-Feb-13 09:48:56

I don't have a car either, and I guess, in a way, I am 'proud' that in a very car-orientated World we manage without one. People regularly offer me lifts and I like to think it's because they're just trying to help. It is disconcerting to read that people might offer me help and then resent me for accepting the help! confused. Luckily, I almost always say 'no we're fine! but thank you!". I only accept offers of lifts if it's raining.

Please don't offer help if you are going to resent giving it!

GretaGip Mon 11-Feb-13 09:49:29

Should we only offer favours to the Hard Up then?


Isthisme Mon 11-Feb-13 09:50:57

What 'values'?
The values of poncing lifts off people and being all worthy at the same time.

I understand exactly why you are feelng pissy...I have felt the same in similar circumstances. If people want to be holier than thou about their green credentials, their lack of carbon footprint and their super dooper concern for the environment while looking down their noses at we lesser mortals, that's ok.

BUT...when they then accept a lift in my car and STILL bang on about their green credentials, their lack of carbon footprint and their super dooper concern for the environment...that's when I too get just a little bit pissy!

Sophie...are you listening to me??

BelindaCarlisle Mon 11-Feb-13 09:51:19

Merlot I'm afraid they probably do.

mrsjay Mon 11-Feb-13 09:51:21

Should we only offer favours to the Hard Up then?

aye especially if they have little waifs who are out in the snow grin

spiritedaway Mon 11-Feb-13 09:51:25

Oh Belinda, although you may be the actual ginger godess and are missing the point, Mumsnet is anonymous and most of the posts are about close friends and family members

Merl0t Mon 11-Feb-13 09:51:41

ps, you never know the real reason people don't drive. My brother regularly gives lifts to a colleague with epilepsy. NObody really knows about it. An older man my family is acquainted with (not family) couldn't drive for years as he'd been done for drink driving. He didn't talk about the reason he did not drive.

YellowDinosaur Mon 11-Feb-13 09:52:42

It's not only offering lifts to poor people though is it.

I'd happily offer lifts to anyone if I was going anyway (and often taking me out of my way) regardless of how much money they have in the bank. And not expect any type of reciprocal favours - it's called being nice.

However if the people I was giving lifts to were then ranting from their moral high ground about how much better than me they were for not having a car I'd certainly be pissed off and not offer again even if I didn't have to go out of my way at all. This would, in my opinion, be worse if they could also actually afford a car / taxi ride.

If that makes me mean spirited then fine. OP YAB a bit U because you did offer but in your shoes I'd be pissed off too.

BelindaCarlisle Mon 11-Feb-13 09:52:54

Agree with scave that you can always repay lifts. We are embroiled into various sports car shares and i try to get head by offering all the time to be in credit. smile

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