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to have found this patronising?

(43 Posts)
FrontierFighter Sun 10-Feb-13 23:21:53

So I met a guy on a night out a week ago when I was out with friends, and we have been texting back and forth for a week and decided to meet up last night.

Friends asked me Thursday if I was meeting up with him at all, so did tell them that yes we have date on Saturday night. Three of them on the night sent me good luck texts.

Now I know I sound like a heartless bitch but I just found it so patronising. It's just a date.

Also I'm only 23 (hardly on the shelf just yet!) and I had broken up with my ex of 4 months just over a month ago, so it's not like I've been single for ages and I actually enjoy life regardless of whether I am single or part of a couple.

I think maybe I found it more patronising because they are in very long term relationships and perhaps pity their single friend.

Mmmnoodlesoup Mon 11-Feb-13 11:26:43


Pancakeflipper Mon 11-Feb-13 11:25:43

Joins Marmalade in looking around in a bemused manner.

Pagwatch Mon 11-Feb-13 11:24:49

I think in this context a 'good luck' just means 'hope it goes well and you have a good time' rather than 'thank the lord, you might finally be off the shelf'

Ds1 had a first date last month and I wished him good luck. I knew he liked her and just wanted him to enjoy the evening. He's 19. I am kind of hoping it isn't heading for marriage right now. But having a nice date is a good thing isn't it?

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 11-Feb-13 11:20:48

<walks off thread in confusion>

BelleJolie Mon 11-Feb-13 09:57:10

You have lovely thankful.

trixymalixy Mon 11-Feb-13 08:43:23

YABU, they're probably excited for you and a wee bit jealous in some ways, definitely not pitying. Have you not seen the threads on here where someone is going on a date and posters who know nothing about the OP are saying good luck and waiting for updates? I love to lurk in those threads and if I actually knew the person involved I'd be itching to know every detail.

BalloonSlayer Mon 11-Feb-13 08:05:47

Actually I think YANBU, OP

It's not an interview for the job of a lifetime they know you have been desperate to do since you were little. It's a social meet-up with a man who may turn out to be a knobber/not your type/the love of your life/not that into you/Mr OK/whatever. Luck has nothing to do with it.

However I expect they really meant to say "First date! How fab! Aww I remember my first date with DP. It's so exciting. Hope you both have a great time and it's the first of many," but "Good Luck" is shorter and they probably genuinely think it means the same thing.

exoticfruits Mon 11-Feb-13 07:52:55

What dreadful friends........being happy for you! ( keep quiet about it- friends are hard work if you have to walk on eggshells and second guess that they might get upset about perfectly friendly gestures)

KenDoddsDadsDog Mon 11-Feb-13 07:38:38

Leave the bastards

Iaintdunnuffink Mon 11-Feb-13 07:35:06

Is there an age where it becomes acceptable to wish someone luck?

Saski Mon 11-Feb-13 07:26:22

I would do the same. YABU.

ZillionChocolate Mon 11-Feb-13 07:23:41

It was kind of them to remember and be bothered to text you. That massive chip on your shoulder's distorting your thinking (unless the text said "good luck, you'll need it, I'm amazed he agreed to go out with you, let's hope it works out so you can stop embarrassing us by being single")

wigglesrock Mon 11-Feb-13 07:23:22

I suppose they wish you Happy Birthday as well - bastards hmm

Coconutty Mon 11-Feb-13 07:21:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong Mon 11-Feb-13 07:19:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ Mon 11-Feb-13 06:27:04

Oh my goodness. Every day I think 'surely there cannot be something more daft to be offended about' yet every day someone on here manages to come up with something!


AboutThyme Mon 11-Feb-13 01:55:05

OP - is there something more to this? You can say, your amongst "friends".

EllenParsons Mon 11-Feb-13 01:53:05

Yabu. Last time I went on a date two of my best friends text me good luck - didn't find it patronising at all, just showing interest in each others lives! Don't over think it.

AboutThyme Mon 11-Feb-13 01:39:03

They were wishing you good luck on a date. Those UTTER cunts. LTB's immediately.

Jojobump1986 Mon 11-Feb-13 01:37:54

How did the date go btw? wink <Nosy>

Jojobump1986 Mon 11-Feb-13 01:36:30

They're probably excited for you. I married quite young & there's a part of me that's a little sad that I didn't really do the whole independent woman going on dates thing. I get really excited when my single friends meet someone new, partly because I want them to be happy (whatever that looks like for them & not at all in a everyone-should-get-married-like-me way!) but also partly because I get to live vicariously through them!
Surely going on dates when you're young & single is supposed to be exciting - is it really that wrong that people who care about you want to share in the excitement too?!

Eebahgum Mon 11-Feb-13 01:23:22

I know it's "just a date" but surely you want it to go well? Otherwise, what's the point in going? I doubt very much whether they meant "good luck - hope you meet your future husband & get off the shelf & join us in the happy world of ltrs" and probably meant "good luck - hope he's not a boring twat & you enjoy yourself".

Icelollycraving Mon 11-Feb-13 01:22:45

Yabu. They sound perfectly nice. You sound a bit like hard work if friends trying to be supportive & excited for you.

BookWormery Mon 11-Feb-13 01:14:42


Good luck to your date.

suburbophobe Mon 11-Feb-13 00:41:41

Be thankful you have friends who take the time to wish you well on a date.

Patronising? Seriously??

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