Advanced search

to have found this patronising?

(43 Posts)
FrontierFighter Sun 10-Feb-13 23:21:53

So I met a guy on a night out a week ago when I was out with friends, and we have been texting back and forth for a week and decided to meet up last night.

Friends asked me Thursday if I was meeting up with him at all, so did tell them that yes we have date on Saturday night. Three of them on the night sent me good luck texts.

Now I know I sound like a heartless bitch but I just found it so patronising. It's just a date.

Also I'm only 23 (hardly on the shelf just yet!) and I had broken up with my ex of 4 months just over a month ago, so it's not like I've been single for ages and I actually enjoy life regardless of whether I am single or part of a couple.

I think maybe I found it more patronising because they are in very long term relationships and perhaps pity their single friend.

BambieO Sun 10-Feb-13 23:23:09

I would probably do the same if you were my friend, not to be patronising but if I knew you wanted to meet someone and it would make you happy that would make me happy too so I would wish you all the luck in the world

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 10-Feb-13 23:23:51

YABU they were just being nice.

BambieO Sun 10-Feb-13 23:23:57

My point was they probably meant no harm and just adore you and wish you all the best in life and love smile

ApocalypseThen Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:03

Any chance they were trying to be kind and supportive and you're projecting your own insecurities on to them?

WorraLiberty Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:52

I had to read that twice because the first time I thought I'd missed something?

Are you seriously saying you found a flippant 'good luck' text patronising? confused

PaellaUmbrella Sun 10-Feb-13 23:25:17

YABU. They weren't being patronising, they were just being nice confused

katiecubs Sun 10-Feb-13 23:28:03

They are probably excited for you - they don't get to 'date' anymore you see!

YABU - you are lucky to have such nice friends.

TurquoiseCat Sun 10-Feb-13 23:28:07


They wished you luck for a first date with a man you've only met once. What did you want them to say? hmm

BadgersNadgers Sun 10-Feb-13 23:29:15

Calm down dear, it was only a text.

KB02 Sun 10-Feb-13 23:29:37


ThisIsMummyPig Sun 10-Feb-13 23:29:39

They probably just meant that they hoped you would have a nice night, and not meet a serial killer.

But then when I was 24 and going out with a new man texts hadn't really taken off....

OurPlanetNeptune Sun 10-Feb-13 23:34:57

Not patronising at all. Just nice and thoughtful. I think you need to have a word with yourself.


TroublesomeEx Sun 10-Feb-13 23:36:52

Sounds like they're excited.

I'm pretty paranoid and I don't think even I could read something negative into a good luck message before a date!

TroublesomeEx Sun 10-Feb-13 23:37:48

Or perhaps they've read the worst first date thread on here and they're just letting you know they hope yours goes better.

Really. What is the problem?

ComposHat Sun 10-Feb-13 23:47:06

Now I know I sound like a heartless bitch

yes you do.

and perhaps pity their single friend

Or perhaps they just wish you well

good job they didn't buy you a bunch of flowers or you'd have nutted them or something.

AnyFucker Sun 10-Feb-13 23:49:56

Your friends are complete bastards and you should drop them immediately

mynewpassion Mon 11-Feb-13 00:10:22

Your thinking is skewed.

suburbophobe Mon 11-Feb-13 00:41:41

Be thankful you have friends who take the time to wish you well on a date.

Patronising? Seriously??

BookWormery Mon 11-Feb-13 01:14:42


Good luck to your date.

Icelollycraving Mon 11-Feb-13 01:22:45

Yabu. They sound perfectly nice. You sound a bit like hard work if friends trying to be supportive & excited for you.

Eebahgum Mon 11-Feb-13 01:23:22

I know it's "just a date" but surely you want it to go well? Otherwise, what's the point in going? I doubt very much whether they meant "good luck - hope you meet your future husband & get off the shelf & join us in the happy world of ltrs" and probably meant "good luck - hope he's not a boring twat & you enjoy yourself".

Jojobump1986 Mon 11-Feb-13 01:36:30

They're probably excited for you. I married quite young & there's a part of me that's a little sad that I didn't really do the whole independent woman going on dates thing. I get really excited when my single friends meet someone new, partly because I want them to be happy (whatever that looks like for them & not at all in a everyone-should-get-married-like-me way!) but also partly because I get to live vicariously through them!
Surely going on dates when you're young & single is supposed to be exciting - is it really that wrong that people who care about you want to share in the excitement too?!

Jojobump1986 Mon 11-Feb-13 01:37:54

How did the date go btw? wink <Nosy>

AboutThyme Mon 11-Feb-13 01:39:03

They were wishing you good luck on a date. Those UTTER cunts. LTB's immediately.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: