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I don't know what to think - aibu?

(32 Posts)
takingcharge13 Sun 10-Feb-13 20:33:24

I have namechanged, I can't stop thinking about this.

I have no children. I was at a friend's yesterday and some other friends joined us for lunch with their DS who is about 8 and their DD who I think is about 6. There was a salad, cold meats, buffet style and the father of the children gave each of the children a lot of food and the DD wasn't eating a lot of it, especially the salad. After a bit of getting upset from the DD, the father hoved her head back and forced a bit of tomato in her mouth. She was understandably very distressed and then vomited sad

Neither the mother or the father seemed worried, they just kept saying things like "she won't eat a thing, really fussy eater, oh she eats chocolate all right." The DD's brother kept laughing at her and kept parroting his parents, saying "She doesn't eat red or green stuff" and calling her the Michelin man and other derogatory comments. The DD wasn't fat, not a skinny kid but not a fat one either.

This isn't normal family behaviour, or is it?

AnyFucker Mon 11-Feb-13 13:56:16

That is child abuse. Please take some professional advice on this matter.

MusicalEndorphins Mon 11-Feb-13 13:54:26

magimedi I also wondered about what they do in private.

MusicalEndorphins Mon 11-Feb-13 13:52:21

That's cruel and horrible treatment. sad
I remember as a child, attending a birthday party sleepover for a school friend who, turned 10 or 11. There were about 6 of us sleeping over. In the morning her mother made everyone scrambled eggs, and the birthday girl apparently hated eggs. Her mother pinched her dd's nose shut and held the fork of eggs in front of her mouth until she had to open her mouth to breath and shoved them in. it was really embarrassing to watch. I felt so dismayed and sorry for my friend.

Hullygully Mon 11-Feb-13 09:13:15


MortifiedAdams Mon 11-Feb-13 09:07:15

You need to speak to someone in child protection.

If they are likr this in public I shudder to think what goes on behind closed doors.

extracrunchy Mon 11-Feb-13 09:04:44

The scary thing is it's probably more extreme when they're in private. I think you need to mention it to a health visitor or similar.

Borntobeamum Mon 11-Feb-13 07:38:57

Did you not say anything?!
Surely you know that that sort of behaviour is damaging?
I'd have ripped into the parents big time if only to let the little girl know someone cared.

Icelollycraving Mon 11-Feb-13 01:18:32

Fuck. That is abuse.
If this is their public behaviour I would be very worried what on earth happens in private sad angry

badtemperedaldbitch Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:45

Help her

Aspiemum2 Sun 10-Feb-13 23:22:22

That poor child, I'm all for minding my own but in this case I think you have to act. Their attitude along with what they did suggests this girl is definitely a victim of abuse sad

ComradeJing Sun 10-Feb-13 23:14:07

Oh the poor child sad Yanbu, sadly.

magimedi Sun 10-Feb-13 23:07:21

Horrific. Very disturbing & I think I'd also go down the lines of reporting this.

If the parents are force feeding the child when out, WTF do you think they might be doing at home?

And the response of the brother is worrying - he (& I am not blaming him) was not worried by this force feeding & vomiting? Indicates to me that he's seen far worse already.

I really hope you can help this poor child.

FrothyDragon Sun 10-Feb-13 23:04:51

That's not normal. sad That poor girl.

wannabedomesticgoddess Sun 10-Feb-13 22:58:42

Definately NSPCC. That is horrifying.

quoteunquote Sun 10-Feb-13 22:54:49

what Caja said.

BubblegumPie Sun 10-Feb-13 22:04:11

Yes, please ring NSPCC OP. Poor girl needs someone looking out for her.

BattlingFanjos Sun 10-Feb-13 21:54:34

oP I know its hard but imo you seriously need to thi k about reporting these people. Call the nspcc for some advice, if they feel its worth reporting to social care they will tell you. They are very understanding and will ask all questions needed. I know its hard as they might link you to the report but think of the things this poor child is going through. I've reported someone before and the family are now getting the help they need.

glamourousgranny42 Sun 10-Feb-13 21:38:53

That's awful. My mum force fed me because I was a fussy eater and didn't eat much at all. I didn't have food isuues then but I did after she had finished with me. I know parents worry about what their children eat but this is not the way to deal with it.

yaimee Sun 10-Feb-13 21:33:06

Oh caja that's awful.
And no op yanbu, it's cruel horrible behaviour and they are going to give their poor daughter massive issues in the future.

WhichIsBest Sun 10-Feb-13 20:43:58

That is horrible and I don't know what you could do about it but I hope there is something you can do? Report it to someone? It sounds very distressing. sad

AllDirections Sun 10-Feb-13 20:41:43

Not normal at all, that's really horrible sad

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 10-Feb-13 20:40:18

That isn't normal!!!! No wonder she's fussy if everything's shoved down her neck like that.

takingcharge13 Sun 10-Feb-13 20:39:57

Thanks, I didn't think it was but sometimes it is just really hard to tell from a snapshot. The DS has Aspergers and I think the DD ends up being the family kicking object sad but it's hard to know who to talk to.

Beamur Sun 10-Feb-13 20:39:03

That's a truly horrible thing to do to a child.

ThreeBeeOneGee Sun 10-Feb-13 20:38:00

Not normal family behaviour in my experience. One of my children is a 'fussy eater' due to sensory problems related to his Asperger's. He is also underweight and having supplementary drinks on the advice of the paediatrician. I have never forced food into his mouth, and I imagine it would do more harm than good.

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