WIBU to ask them to let me in? Or complain to reception?

[Labradorwhisperer]

Every Monday I like to go to my gym for an exercise class, and time in the sauna/jacuzzi bit. I have a back issue and so it helps me to stretch out afterwards.

At the same time, there are swimming lessons on and my class ends just five minutes changeover point between two swimming classes. The communal swim changing rooms just have cubicles to change in. By the time I get to the changing room to put on my swimwear for the sauna, every single cubicle is unoccupied, but the parents of the children in class have "staked their claim" to each cubicle with bags/towels etc. Now, I don't have children but I can fully understand the need to get children showered and warm quickly after swimming lessons. I can also understand that parents don't want the stress of lining up and waiting for cubicles to come free when there children come out of the shower. I fully get that. The layout of the changing rooms is such that there is no logical place to queue for a spare spot anyway.

I don't have much time after my class before I need to get back home but it is important for me to stretch out in the heat, as I say. It would take literally two minutes for me to nip into a cubicle, change and be gone. However, none of the parents are prepared to ever let me use "their" cubicle, even if their child hasn't left the pool yet. I regularly have to wait at least 20 minutes for a space. It's really very annoying. AIBU to think that they are being somewhat selfish in the circumstances? I genuinely want to know hence posting on a parenting website, what the consensus is.

[Labradorwhisperer]

"their" children out of the shower, not there. (Sigh)

[AnnieLobeseder]

I would say that laying claim to a cubicle you aren't actually using is unbelievably selfish and I'm surprised your gym allows it. Are there people actually in there guarding the space? If not, I would probably just go into one and get changed, ignoring their stuff. But yes, I would speak to the gym management about it.

[sppp]

If there is nobody in the cubicle then just go ahead and use it. If someone has to wait to retrieve their belongings it might make them think next time.

[Goldmandra]

Presumably the parents concerned are on the poolside while their child is swimming so can't stop you using 'their' cubicle.

I have always put my children's belonging in lockers or taken the bag with me. It's selfish to block all of the cublicles for that time and TNB most younger children are OK with changing outside cubicles.

Have you spoken to the staff about this?

[SauvignonBlanche]

In the circumstances, I think you should complain.

[LineRunner]

I would get changed outside a cubicle with a big towel. They can hardly complain if they won't let you use one.

Are these mums actually sat in the cubicles guarding them, then?

[Labradorwhisperer]

Thanks for the replies! Not spoken to the staff about this... Yet. Don't want to cause a fuss if IABU, especially as I am in there every week. Parents aren't always at the poolside, some are in the changing area, but hovering near the pool entrance. There isn't any direct access from the spectators bit to the changing room, only down a few corridors. I thought I would ask on here for opinions, and if the overall view was I am not unreasonable, I would probably have a quiet word at the desk.

The gym staff probably don't know. There's not usually much demand for the sauna bit at those times because the pool itself is closed for lessons.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Saving a cubical whilst your child is still in the pool is utter wanker type behaviour.

It should be law that anybody who does this automatically consents to there clothes being chucked in the pool.

[Labradorwhisperer]

Is a weird "mixed" changing room arrangement - men and women use the lockers, separate cubicles. It's a local authority run gym, I should add. Not a posh expensive gym at all.

[kalidanger]

YANBU. It's really not reasonable for people to stake claims in unoccupied cubicles. I'm sure the staff would agree.

But...can you exercise in your swimming costume them just whip off your trainers and leggings (?) and jump in the sauna? Just a thought if the claim-stakers win this one :o

[Labradorwhisperer]

Haha! Tried it once, Kalidanger... Got very very warm. Also, the swimming costume was not as "supportive" as my shock absorber sports bra. Not my most dignified hour. I have been tempted to arrive early for my class and use one of the big "reserved for families only" lockers in the pool bit as a pre emptive revenge. However I thought that would be the swimming equivalent of sneaking into a parent and child space at a supermarket. Which I absolutely never do, even when grocery shopping at 2am with insomnia!

[Floggingmolly]

I always simply removed the items and placed them outside the cubicle. Have had plenty of dirty looks, which doesn't bother me, but haven't been shoved into the pool yet.
Isn't the protocol a bit like - don't reserve a table before buying your coffee in cafes? People do it regardless, but I've no qualms about calling them on it.

[nickelbabe]

I think you should complain.

In our leisure centre there isn't room to do that and we have lockers for while you're in the pool.
It's wrong as well as a security issue.

[Sparklingbrook]

YANBU. They are being really cheeky. Complain to Reception.

[maamalady]

YANBU. I hate it when people do this, especially if there's limited space. It's so rude and unnecessary. Just ignore their clothes and get changed in a cubicle anyway - if someone has to wait, tough. And definitely mention it to the staff, it's really not on, and it's easy to put clothes away in a locker during the swim class.

[kalidanger]

Ah, supportive bras

You're being very nice, OP. You sound lovely. That's why you haven't got anywhere to change Complain/explain to the centre staff or just help yourself to an 'occupied' cubicle. It's not like you're going to make it wet etc.

[catnipkitty]

YANBU I think you should complain to the management. How ridiculous of the parents to 'save' a cubicle. What's wrong with using a locker? And the children are fine wrapped in a towel once out of the pool, and if needs be getting dry outside a cubicle

[Sparklingbrook]

Yes I was thinking that catnip. Why do the children need a cubicle at all?

[BluelightsAndSirens]

Yam I and I would just use a cubicle with items left in it infact it wouldn't even enter my head that it was "saved".

[5madthings]

Yanbu just use a cubicle and out the contents on a bench in the changing area.

Do have a word with reception.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Both complain to reception and move "abandoned " items from the cubicles.

[willesden]

Start handing in all the unguarded belongings to Reception as 'lost property'. It is totally wankerish behaviour. Little ones don't need a private cubicle to get changed in.

[WorraLiberty]

YANBU

If the cubicle's empty, I'd just use it.

[jamdonut]

I would complain to the management. Our pool has changing rooms exactly like that. The only difference is with swimming lessons the parents get the children changed around the edge of the pool (there is a seating area with tables....these are "bagged" in the same way your changing rooms are!

[nancerama]

I swear, some formerly rational people have a chunk of their brains removed when they have a child and it almost always manages to manifest itself at the swimming pool.

DS goes to classes at the local hospital. I regularly see parents park in the disabled bays by the pool "because no one needs them at the weekend". There are 8 kids in the class and 8 cubicles round the pool. Regularly I have to contend with stroppy parents when DS gets out of the pool because I dare to use "their" changing room. DS has just got out of the pool, their DC is just getting in. They will get their cubicle back long before the lesson ends. I don't know what they expect me to do in the meantime.

OP, YANBU. Have a word with the leisure centre. You have just as much right to use the facilities.