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AIBU to want to have my evening wedding reception without our just turned 3yroldD?

(29 Posts)
floppops Fri 08-Feb-13 14:18:36

I'm getting married next month and we are having a small afternoon registry ceremony and evening dinner at a restaurant.
Our DD is going to be my flower girl. But I really would rather not have her at the evening reception. The restaurant is not brilliantly child friendly and I would have to look after her myself and she is a hugely active child, she doesn't like sitting down for more than a couple of minutes! I always include my DD in everything I do and have never been apart from her for even one night so I'm trying not to feel guilty about wanting an adult evening that I can relax and enjoy.
My plan is to take her home after the ceremony and put her to bed at her usual bedtime and go on to the reception. She has never been put to bed by anyone but me. And then handover to a babysitter till we're back from the reception.
She will be coming on the ( very child friendly )honeymoon too.
H2B is a bit uncomfortable with DD not being there for the evening but he will not be the one who ends up looking after!

MrsMelons Tue 12-Feb-13 12:49:22

We didn't have our DCs at our reception (3 yrs and 18 months) We hired a baby sitter who put them to bed in my mum/dads hotel room then mum and dad slept in there with them after it all finished.

I do agree with Bowerbird but it was a bit harshly put. Its actually for the DCs own good for you to not allow them to be so clingy to one person. i think you are being quite unfair to her and her dad TBH. maybe you could pop out at bed time a few times so her dad can put her to bed (she probably won't scream if you're not actually there).

I find it quite hard to believe there is no one that could babysit a 3 yo - surely someone must have an older teenage daughter or friend/sister that could come and babysit once before the wedding (whilst you are not there at bed time).

I do think it may be a bit late to sort it all out now but it is a shame you will have to leave your wedding to put her to bed.

floppops Tue 12-Feb-13 14:43:46

I haven't any relatives apart from my mum who flat refuses to put DD to bed or babysit ever.
I would have let any family member or friend put DD to bed if any had ever offered or given any inclination they would.

H2B is DDs dad but we've been separated since she was 10 months and have got back together recently and don't live together yet so it hasn't always been easy for him to do bedtime..has been complicated. He should have been doing more-one of the reasons we separated ( not the main one ) he wants to do more now obviously or we wouldn't be getting married. I'm sure if I asked him he'd put DD to bed on the wedding day but I think it's even more weird for either the bride or groom to disappear for a bit than both. Plus we'd be doing this bit in the period between the ceremony finishing and the reception starting when everyone will be having a drink at the local pub.

It may seem I'm happy being controlling or a martyr but it's not that simple.
I have had very little help and haven't had much money to spend on baby-sitters or going out.

TheElephantIsADaintyBird Tue 12-Feb-13 14:46:50

Well it's not what I would do but if it works for you then go for it, you don't need our permission.

TheElephantIsADaintyBird Tue 12-Feb-13 14:49:00

Sorry if that sounds as if I'm being a bit short with you, I just mean you don't need to justify why you want to do that on here. It's your wedding so do whatever makes you happy.
Good luck!

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