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To think you should give a friend a lift home if it's raining?

(337 Posts)
eggsy11 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:33:34

This may be more a chat thing, but think I need the harshness of AIBU to see if I do have the right to be mad at my friend!

Have done A LOT of favours for this friend, but won't include that in the argument since I didn't do them to be paid back... but it is what is annoying me about the situation.

Another mum at DS's nursery saw me and DS huddling under the doorway until the hail past. Said hello, grabbed her DS and drove home. DS was screaming because he was scared. He was under his raincover in the pram, and it was a 15 minute walk so it was only me that got wet. But it was still horrible and I was literally soaked to the skin.

I know the mum would of had to drop us home (5 min drive) and come back for her DS, as there was only 1 car seat. But there is no way i'd walk past my friend like that! She is always early to pick up her DS so it wouldn't of been an issue since it's daycare, not like at school.

Am I being unfair? Is it our fault we don't have a car? I just think it would of been nice!

(btw she wasn't in a rush. pictures on facebook of them cuddled up watching cbeebies etc when they got home!)

Fakebook Fri 08-Feb-13 12:45:52

Oh my gosh, yabvu! I've walked home in the rain with a pushchair and had Dd's school friends drive by too. It's not the end of the world. You're not made out of salt so I'm sure you'll survive. Have a bit of pride.

FernandoIsFaster Fri 08-Feb-13 12:46:01

If I say YANBU will you promise to stop saying 'should of', it's making my teeth itch.

Isildur Fri 08-Feb-13 12:46:10

Well you won't have much choice about leaving your friends in the rain, what with not having a car..

Trills Fri 08-Feb-13 12:46:22

Okay i'm just going to be a fucking bitch from now on.

What made you come to this conclusion?

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 12:47:26

So she was supposed to turn around and put her son back into the nursery to shuttle you home then come back?


Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 12:47:31

eggsy11 this has clearly rankled you.

Tell your friend you're pissed off at her lack of consideration and see what she says, you'll know where you stand in future about helping her out.

3birthdaybunnies Fri 08-Feb-13 12:47:38

Yes, but she has asked you, you have agreed. You didn't say anything in your OP about asking. She can't read your mind. In that situation I probably wouldn't leave my dc, as they would be confused that I had just collected them and now am dashing off with someone else, but would be back soon. It depends on the age of her dc and their temperament. One of mine wouldn't have cared less, one would have thrown a fit and would have asked everyday for months if I was going to leave here there for another 10 mins for months, and the other one is too close to call.

I do try to give lifts when I can, but there are a myriad of reasons why it might not always be possible.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 08-Feb-13 12:48:26

So, your friend is a bitch for getting on with the plans she has made and for letting you get on with the plans you have made? hmm

eggsy11 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:49:39

She's the same friend who has asked me more than 10 times to get her something from the shop if she's home alone and her DS is ill (ie calpol or formula) / pick him up when she's late from work ( my DS can walk if he has to) etc etc etc. I've never asked her for a single thing! Again that's kind of irrelevant because I'd hope she would of thought about us walking home without having to 'pay back favours'.

eggsy11 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:50:43



Scootee Fri 08-Feb-13 12:50:45

"Is it our fault we don't have a car?"

I'm not sure who else's "fault" that could possibly be. confused

I'm sorry op, I think you are being pretty unreasonable.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 08-Feb-13 12:51:19

Maybe your solution to the problem didn't occur to her? I doubt she sat n the car chuckling to herself about how wet you were getting on your walk.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 08-Feb-13 12:51:33

And you haven't answered why you didn't go back inside to wait. Why would your ds have been getting upset if you had done that?

Also, what is it that makes you think your friend was being a bitch? Maybe it just didn't occur to her in that moment because her mind was spinning with all sorts of other things, like it does for many of us. She might have thought about it on her way home, but it was too late by then.

You really are expecting a bit much if you think she should have considered you above whatever else she had going on in the less than a minute that it woudo have made a difference to you.

Juanca Fri 08-Feb-13 12:52:54

YABU. I got soaked to the skin walking DD home yesterday in a torrential downpour. I thought nothing of it and we both survived. Maybe your friend thought you were made of sterner stuff than you actually are?

manicinsomniac Fri 08-Feb-13 12:52:54

a 15 minute walk? To be honest it wouldn't have occured to me to offer and I give people lifts a lot. It just wouldn't enter my head that you'd need one.

If you'd asked I would have done it though.

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 12:52:55

Well, she didn't do it. I don't think she was being unreasonable. If it bothers you so much, then tell her or stop doing favours for her.

eggsy11 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:53:04

okay fair enough! If she didn't bother to give us a lift, just 100% i'm going to tell her where to go when she next asks me to go bend over backwards to help her!

Feminine Fri 08-Feb-13 12:53:12

I think she has just hurt your feelings...right?

Like I said, its the type of thing you might do to help someone. It didn't register with her.

I'll bet you are a 'giver' in life, then get understandably upset when others don't.

You are not a bitch. You were hurt.

I have noticed the British are crap with giving lifts. I drive, but sometimes didn't have a car (in the US) there were no ends of offers from friends/family "you wanna ride?" grin

Here, I have had family members watch as I head out in heavy rain with a crappy wind shield!

ruledbyheart Fri 08-Feb-13 12:54:20

Could you not have got a taxi?
I wouldn't make my own child wait for the sake of driving someone else home.
I think YABU.

Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 12:54:23

You're not going to get the replies you're hoping for, no need for the shouting.

Scootee Fri 08-Feb-13 12:54:38

Yes, op you are perfectly within your rights to do that.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Fri 08-Feb-13 12:55:00

Yabu. It's only a bit of rain! Man up.

ethelb Fri 08-Feb-13 12:55:26

Is it our fault we don't have a car?

Yes. It is. I say this as someone who doesn't own a car.

ExitPursuedByABear Fri 08-Feb-13 12:55:55

No need to shout.

YABU - maybe she did not fancy getting pissed wet through helping you get your buggy in and out of the car.

And please re read Trills post.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Fri 08-Feb-13 12:56:07

It wouldn't have occurred to me in that situation, I'd've been "oh, there's so and so, hi, must get DS" on the way in.

Did you ask her?

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