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Aibu to be upset by this?

(102 Posts)
PinkPanties Thu 07-Feb-13 21:58:21

I was out with my dh today, we were on our way to the shopping precinct, when i broached a conversation about holidays, and that "i would like to experience the world", he took this as a meaning to talk about threesomesshock, when i said don't be silly, he got really moody about the fact that i didn't mean sexual experience. Kept nagging that "experiencing the world" means experiences sexuallyhmm. I told him there will be no threesome ever, as i couldn't handle seeing him have sex with another woman. He told me i'm "closed off" sexuallyshockhmm, all because of this conversation!

I'm by no means "closed off" at all, i have even had an experience with another woman in my late teens and have tried many things with my dh, such as bondage, foods, all fresco sex, all sorts really so i'm quite pissed of he has said this to me and took my words as an excuse to bring up having a threesome (this isn't the first time he has bought it upconfused)

I said if he wants a threesome with me & a woman then the only way i would agree to it would be for it to be a foursome with a man for my needs too, i said this to shock him. Well it did he got very angry and said i'm being unfair & selfishhmm

Anyway we get to the precinct and enter a clothing store, in here he starts ranting on about me being "closed off" again, and that i don't partake in watching porn with himshock, i don't want to it makes me envious that he looks at the glamorous women on it and it isn't for me! Then he went on about how i hardly let him relieve himself on my breastsshock
Bare in mind this was in a store full of people, i felt very embarrased, especially as i was pushing my 2yo dd in her pram too!

Not only did he make me feel like shit by doing all that, he then pointed out some high heeled sneakers and said i should buy them as i'd look good in them. When i said they are not my thing, he started ranting how i don't wear nice shoes.

Got home more ranting about how he wants to use our flat screen tv to play xbox, although he has his own tv in the corner. I said yes after my soaps, and he said i control the tv shock

All this shit for a man who was a virgin when i met him, still is to my knowledge, who hasn't bathed for 4 days, shaved and wears trackie bottoms & hoodies 24/7.

So pissed off, its unbelievable, and to top it off when i told him how i feel he just shrugged his shoulders and said "i aint done nuthin"
Yesterday i wanted to treat myself so we went out, i gave him £30 towards a new xbox game and said i'd be getting something nice with my cash.
He asked to borrow another £30 off me so i said yes thinking he was going to give it back.
He didn't he bought me sexy underwear with the whole lot, which left me with no money.
So he got games and got a sexy woman dressed upconfused

Sorry that was long!
Aibu to be upset, its all about him?

ZillionChocolate Sat 09-Feb-13 12:09:57

Hope it works out OP. At least you have been clear about what you want so there's no scope for confusion.

PinkPanties Sat 09-Feb-13 11:26:33

Yes he has finally had a bath at long last!
And when it's my feelings at stake, jokes about Jeremy Kyle do not help.

This was the first time he has mentioned a threesome & i have blatantly told him that i will never be partaking in one.
I have told him, if he wants to experience others, he can leave and for a person that has only slept with one woman he has a cheek.
And i also told him if anyone will be seeking variety it will be me, seeming as i have a few notches on my bedpost where he doesn't.

Told him it aint my fault his mother held him back when he was younger so he can't blame me that he didn't get experience when he could.

From now on i'm regaining my trousers in our relationship that i seem to have lost.
And i'm well and truly putting my foot down, a family is at stake here, we have 4 dc.

From now on if he doesn't bath, i'm leading him to it.
If i want him to dress up for me, he is going to.
And he will be doing more housework.

If he wants variety, he can make the effort to try new things with ME and i mean run-of-the mill things.

RedHotRudieParts Sat 09-Feb-13 11:02:38

Oooooooohhh, this is like ye Jeremy Kyle if old.

ZillionChocolate Sat 09-Feb-13 10:11:20

Which bit was he sorry for?

Foggles Fri 08-Feb-13 18:26:48

Has he washed yet?

PomBearWithAnOFRS Fri 08-Feb-13 18:24:53

In my experience, most men are very eager to have a threesome, until you introduce them to the other man, then they seem to go right off the idea...

pumpkinsweetie Fri 08-Feb-13 17:51:44

Goodluck op, you are going to need it.

HecateWhoopass Fri 08-Feb-13 16:19:50

ok then. Good luck. I hope you're not back here in a month with the same behaviour. That would be very sad. I hope sorting it out actually means he will change.

RememberingMyPFEs Fri 08-Feb-13 15:55:56

pink seriously, as you said people were so appalled by the post they assumed it was a wind-up of some description. LTB. You deserve better, your DC deserves a better role model and, while I'm no expert, this rings of EA to me and would raise red flags hmm
Find your self esteem and move on. thanks

RememberingMyPFEs Fri 08-Feb-13 15:55:16

pink seriously, as you said people were so appalled by the post they assumed it was a wind-up of some description. LTB. You deserve better, your DC deserves a better role model and, while I'm no expert, this rings of EA to me and would raise red flags hmm
Find your self esteem and move on. thanks

Whocansay Fri 08-Feb-13 15:40:38

He apologised for his behaviour? Oh well, that makes it OK then! hmm

Molepom Fri 08-Feb-13 15:37:09

Have I entered The Twilight Zone? confused

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 08-Feb-13 15:29:32

I wonder where he thinks he's going to find the other woman for the threesome.
Does he have anybody in mind?
Because from your description any woman would be running screaming in the other direction.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Fri 08-Feb-13 15:18:22

Next time you go shopping find a new man.

Best I can do.


hellsbellsmelons Fri 08-Feb-13 15:16:49

I do hope you are sorting things out.
To me though, it sounds beyond repair. I never say LTB either, if you love each other it's a start. But I really don't think he does love you from the way he treats you and talks to you.
Seriously, if you saw a couple on Jeremy Kyle explaining what you've explained to us - you would be like; OOOOMMMMMGGGGG!!!!
Kick him out. Let him fend for himself. He really does sound vile.

NopeStillNothing Fri 08-Feb-13 14:44:27

Hope you're tearing him a new one Op!

Hullygully Fri 08-Feb-13 14:43:50

He sounds a real catch. What a delicious attractive loving and giving man.

A prime example of the species.

I think yo should fall to your knees in gratitude at having such a prize and have numerous al fresco threesomes with this LOVE GOD

Ullena Fri 08-Feb-13 14:41:18


That is all.

PinkPanties Fri 08-Feb-13 14:10:17

He has finally apologised at 10 this morning about his behaviour.
We are sorting things out

penelopepissstop Fri 08-Feb-13 11:55:32

Get rid of this foul, foul man.

And tell him to grow up. I'm annoyed reading this post so have no idea how much this must be pissing you off.

Toxic. Tell him to get f*cked wherever he likes as long as it's not with you!

TheFallenNinja Fri 08-Feb-13 08:29:55

Mention this to Jeremy on the show.

Whocansay Fri 08-Feb-13 08:28:28

If this is true, OP, the reason that people think it isn't is that your h's behaviour is so unreasonable no-one would work out why you would stay nad let your children anywhere near him.

He has no respect for you, thinks real life sex is the same as porn, wants to cheat and doesn't even wash. Boak!

He doesn't sound like a catch and you should have let him remain a virgin. Yuk.

ZillionChocolate Fri 08-Feb-13 07:39:14

grin Composhat

His behaviour is terrible. I wouldn't say LTB just yet because I'm not clear on what discussions you've had with him. It sounds like you have accepted poor behaviour from him. I would lay down clear expectations of what you need from a partner. Whilst he's 30 not 13, you mentioned his toxic parents so maybe it's not as obvious to him as it should be. So he needs to wash regularly, contribute to the family, treat you with respect, not pressure you for sex, not talk about sex publicly/in front of your children.

landofsoapandglory Fri 08-Feb-13 07:38:48

I never say this, but LTB!

Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 07:35:26

Pink you know he's a twat and he is making your life hell plus he must be smelling like hell on earth!

Is this going to get any better?

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