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AIBU?

To be upset about this post on Facebook?

21 replies

DixieD · 07/02/2013 15:24

I know, I know...stay of FB. But today I saw a post from a Facebook friend about her baby not sleeping well. One of the comments on it was from a friend of hers. She was saying that her baby (less than 6 months) has been waking since Christmas looking for her soother. So she decided to take the soother off her AND do 'the controlled crying thing'. She is on Day 3 and apparently the baby cried from half four until her DH got up at 7.
This sounds more like CIO than CC first of all, and second she took her baby's comfort away and then left her to get upset alone. WTF? This seems so cruel. I don't know this girl but I have been feeling so sad for this little baby. She'll be OK wont she, I'm going to be thinking of her tonight now

OP posts:

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paperclips · 07/02/2013 15:40

I'd probably comment, and give my opinion, pointing out how shocked you are, and how bad you feel for the baby.

If she has written that on your friend's fb, she can't expect your friend's other friends not to comment.

ExBrightonBell · 07/02/2013 15:42

Also, do you know for certain that they left the baby alone to cry? They might have been sitting with or holding the baby.

If you feel very strongly then post a comment as suggested, explaining that CIO is different to CC and not suitable for a small baby.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 07/02/2013 15:45

Just leave it be....she will not appreciate a stranger telling her how to parent her child.

We all parent differently and as long as the baby was in no danger and safe and sound in her cot crying for half an hour will not harm her.

I say this as the parent of a 10year old who still does not sleep....I wish I had done this when he was little, may have saved myself years of frustration and annoyance!

EarnestDullard · 07/02/2013 15:50

I've done CC with DD1, but I couldn't leave a baby that young to cry for half an hour (and I have 4mo DD2 who doesn't sleep through yet, so no rose-tinted spectacles here!).

There's not much you can do though. I'd imagine friend-of-a-friend would be a bit if you criticised her parenting choices.

atacareercrossroads · 07/02/2013 15:55

Do not leave a comment unless you want to be publicly ripped apart. Baby will be fine, not my choice of parenting but as long as the baby is/was safe then just leave it be.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 07/02/2013 15:56

4.30am to 7am is two and a half hours.

A baby that small has no comprehension of CC or CIO. I am :( at the thought of that poor little baby crying its heart out.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 07/02/2013 16:00

Oops, read that as half hour!!

Anyway, still don't comment, it won't be appreciated.

EarnestDullard · 07/02/2013 16:02

Oops, I misread that the baby cried for half an hour. But from 4.30 till 7am? That's awful. Even if they were going in to comfort the baby periodically, I still think less than 6mo is too young.

Fairylea · 07/02/2013 16:03

That's horrible :( :(

I'd have to say something and then block them. But I'm a bit opinionated like that and I don't really care if I upset people. If no one challenges things everyone just goes on thinking it's ok.

Trills · 07/02/2013 16:05

Stay out of it.

Do not give someone you don't know unsolicited parenting advice with sad faces.

Fairylea · 07/02/2013 16:08

But a baby left to cry for two and a half hours isn't a different parenting choice - it's cruel.

Tryharder · 07/02/2013 16:10

Leaving a very young baby to cry for 10 mins is one thing. Leaving it to scream its lungs out for 2.5 hours is wicked. How do people lie in their beds and listen to their own baby scream? You wouldn't leave a puppy to cry like that FGS.

I would have posted something in response with some comment about it being cruel, sod the reaction. Some people need to be told.

SirBoobAlot · 07/02/2013 16:11

CIO is disgusting. It's neglectful. I don't care how tired you are, it's vile. You wouldn't leave an adult to cry for hours, don't leave a baby.

If you don't know her that well, you're not risking a friendship by pointing this out.

Trills · 07/02/2013 16:11

People exaggerate.

MumOfTheLittleMonsters · 07/02/2013 16:12

I would comment personally.
It could be she's been told by people "why haven't you left her crying, thats why she's fussing you shouldn't be going to her" etc, and another view point might help. I have been quite forcebly told I'm doing her damage and making her clingy by going to her when she cries by a nursery worker friend, and the mum of another friend.
If you do it in an "Sounds like she's not the kind of baby that responds to "crying it out"! My DD/DS was like that, it made them so much worse if I didn't go to them when they were upset, they'll get better once they feel more secure and they know you'll respond if they're scared/upest, it won't last forever!!" type of comment it's probably better than just going "you shouldn't leave her crying" so on

Pandemoniaa · 07/02/2013 16:13

It's upsetting, it comes across as unkind but you don't know more than the summary of events you've read on Facebook.

There's nothing you can do about it though and nothing you write as a comment will help. So best stay clear and put it out of your mind.

I know this is difficult because only last night I read something that truly shocked me on FB. Someone who is, in every way (I thought) an exceptionally caring parent had resolved a situation in a manner that I thought highly inappropriate but not actually directly harmful. But she wouldn't have welcomed me saying so publicly. Ultimately, it isn't my business.

atacareercrossroads · 07/02/2013 16:13

You, nor OP, knows if the baby was actually left to cry for that long. I often say "DS didnt stop crying all night" or "god DS cried for 3 hours the othe rnight" of course I dont literally mean he didnt stop crying all night or that I didnt see to him in that 3 hours.

One post on FB, a few words, not enough to get on the soapbox and publicly tut at her IMO.

tiggerishtom · 07/02/2013 17:25

I would leave it be.... you don't know her, she will not appreciate, nor listen to, criticism in such a public manor, from a stranger.

No good would come of it.

DixieD · 07/02/2013 17:39

I am not going to comment. This woman doesn't know me from Adam. So nothing i will say will make the slightest bit of difference. Hopefully she was exaggerating although she was very specific about the times. A few other people made general suggestions about comforting her or giving something to replace comfort of soother but she was adamant that she three days in and not 'giving in' to the baby now

OP posts:

atacareercrossroads · 07/02/2013 17:51

I'm always specific about times. Still exaggerate though

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/02/2013 17:57

I'm with Trills.

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