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To want to hunt down and inflict (lots of) pain on anyone who hurts children??

(34 Posts)
forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 13:25:56

I have just been brought to tears by an article on The Sun online about a Nanny who has beaten a child in her care. I didn't click on the link to read it beacuse it would make me feel sick.....but there is an image on the main page which was enough to make me want to find that horrid vile piece of crap of a woman and do the same to her.....and much much more!!!!
Why do they put these images on the front page. I know it's news but who wants to actually see that.
I AM FUMING!!!!!!!!angry sad

coocooboohoo Thu 07-Feb-13 18:56:54

I understand that reacting with violence may be seen as unreasonable and wrong. But the child/baby is defenseless, she isn't.....she's clearly disturbed and sick in the head.....big difference if you ask me.
I don't think the op ever said she was going to hunt her down.....just that that is what she felt like doing. Iyswim.

LadyFlumpalot Thu 07-Feb-13 16:14:55

I'd happily hunt down and kneecap anyone who hurt my child. I'm not perfect, and I know the answer to violence isn't more violence, but I'm also a mother. There is a reason why you don't get inbetween a bear and her cubs, or a cow and her calves.

I feel strongly about other children, but not to the extent I feel about my own son.

50shadesofknackered Thu 07-Feb-13 15:55:34

I completely understand where u r coming from op. I was so upset yesterday after reading an article about a man who drunkenly bit his 5 month old baby's nose and lip off shock sad angry I think it was in India and he had just beaten up her mother and 3 year old sister, the commotion apparantly woke her up and she started crying. She died. So yes, I agree with you

Mumindoha Thu 07-Feb-13 15:31:17

YANBU for getting angry and you don't need a shrink. I think it is a natural reaction especially as a mum...if anyone hurt my children I would want to hurt them that's for sure

PetiteRaleuse Thu 07-Feb-13 15:28:12

Whereas I understand people being upset about violence to children / animals I will never understand the vigilante mob mentality that we so often see. I'm not suggesting that OP is one of these, but when you see people crowding outside a courthouse shouting abuse at the van holding the suspect for whatever crime, it makes me feel pretty sick.

Or that bloke who made a sick joke on Twitter about I can't remember what and had to go into hiding as a mob turned up to his house. It's not for anyone to go after people who hurt /kill / joke about children and stoop to their level.

Sorry, that was off topic I guess.

countrykitten Thu 07-Feb-13 15:27:08

YABU - leave it to the police and focus on being as good a person as you can be.

wineandroses Thu 07-Feb-13 15:20:09

I think it is a natural reaction to be upset at such a dreadful story. Some of the stories that I read on here are very upsetting. I read a thread today about how some MNetters were treated as children and it was heart-breaking to think that adults could be so cruel to their own children. My reaction to such stories is definitely more intense (and tearful) now that I have DC of my own. There is a feeling that you want to protect all children from such harm.

OxfordBags Thu 07-Feb-13 15:09:00

It's understandable to be totally upset and enraged, BUT can you not see the irony of feeling violent and wishing to inflict violence on someone for the horrible crime of... inflicting violence?! You being violent makes you almost as bad as her. She choose to hurt a child, you would choose to hurt an adult, neither is an admirable, rational or mature choice of action. Her instinctive reaction to a child was violence, your instinctive reaction to reading about her was violence. I often worry that people who have such a dramatically intense reaction to stuff like this are reacting to an unconscious recognition of something similar within themselves. An intense reaction is normal, but to feel moved to violence is... An issue.

forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 14:22:02

Thank you Mrs....I'm not a monster....just a unreasonable I guess.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 07-Feb-13 14:12:56

If you donate to the donkey sanctuary you can't be all bad smile

forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 14:07:14

PS all above fair comments. I may need to see a shrink.

forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 14:05:09

Yes I do donate to NSPCC (and The Donkey Sanctuary)every month and work one afternoon in a local childrens charity shop.....still doesn't stop me getting angry....sorry about that.
Probably am unreasonable.....but I can't help it when it comes to defenceless babies?
The law will sort it in this intance I'm sure. She'll get communtity service and an increase in benefits when she can no longer work. Great.

Succubi Thu 07-Feb-13 14:00:15

forcedinsomnia. I can honestly say that if anyone hurt my children to that degree I would have no hesitation whatsoever in doing time. I appreciate that violence isn't the solution for everyone which is why I also accept that if I hunt that person down and administer my own form of personal punishment then I also have to accept the consequences of my actions.

Psammead Thu 07-Feb-13 13:54:11

I think it's normal to feel angry, upset and powerless when confronted with this kind of thing. But as a previous poster said, this is why we defer to the law on such matters.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 07-Feb-13 13:52:57

I hate lots of things in society. That's why I volunteer and work in homelessness. I don't want to beat up people for hurting other people.

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:51:09

You can't necessarily help how you feel. Feeling something isn't the same as doing it and I don't think anyone would argue with OP's opinion that this woman is 'horrible' and 'vile', I've come across descriptions of 'vile' for a lot less on here.

forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 13:50:29

Oh yes lots of 'scary' people cry over newspaper articles. OTT probably (definitely).....but rage was my first reaction.
I also cry at the donkey adverts and I don't know them either!!
Perhaps it's the way I was brought up that made me such a eye for an eye??

gordyslovesheep Thu 07-Feb-13 13:49:38

I am sure everyone feels strongly - but not everyone needs an excuse to be equally violent - in words or deeds - some people are more positive and try to make an actual difference

sooperdooper Thu 07-Feb-13 13:48:50

Wouldn't it be an odd reaction not to be against hurting children? hmm

This reminds me of those stupid pictures on facebook with 'like if you hate child abuse' ....erm so if I ignore it it's somethig I condone??

Dahlen Thu 07-Feb-13 13:48:32

What's the good in feeling strongly about something unless it translates into action? How does that help the victim or their families? It serves only to make you feel better.

FWIW, I empathise. My DC were the same age as Baby P when that case hit the news. It upset me a lot. However, instead of raging, I took part in a few national campaigns and donated some money.

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:46:42

I don't agree that it's an inappropriate reaction, I find myself more moved by stories like this since I had children. I know the link is strong, pretty much every serial killer in history had a traumatic childhood but a hell of a lot of people do and turn out just fine. I think it'd be weirder not to feel quite strongly about things like this.

TrucksAndDinosaurs Thu 07-Feb-13 13:46:36

Understandable but unreasonable.
Second suggestion of NSPCC donation, or give some clothes and toys to a woman's refuge.

Dahlen Thu 07-Feb-13 13:44:07

That's a bit simplistic. No one is saying that a traumatic childcare necessarily creates a future abuser, but the link between the two is very strong. The fact that two people with the same childhood don't turn out the same way just shows that there is an element of personal responsibility and that nothing is preordained (in fact recollecting your own childhood with your own siblings should make it obvious that two children in the same family don't have the same childhood).

Either way, if we could eradicate child abuse and DV in all its forms, the future rate of child abuse would plummet even if it was never totally eradicated.

Of course everyone is entitled to feel rage if someone hurts someone they care about, but it's an inappropriate reaction for someone you don't know.

It's salves the feelings of the uninvolved observer and does nothing to help the victim, those who care for the victim, or contribute anything to future prevention. In short, it's a rather self-absorbed reaction.

Instead of feeling rage, donate some money to the NSPCC.

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:41:28

so what is the solution then exactly? Do you think they can be 'cured'?

Dryjuice25 Thu 07-Feb-13 13:41:10

silly ipad what awful spelling!
behave, involved

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