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To want to hunt down and inflict (lots of) pain on anyone who hurts children??

(34 Posts)
forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 13:25:56

I have just been brought to tears by an article on The Sun online about a Nanny who has beaten a child in her care. I didn't click on the link to read it beacuse it would make me feel sick.....but there is an image on the main page which was enough to make me want to find that horrid vile piece of crap of a woman and do the same to her.....and much much more!!!!
Why do they put these images on the front page. I know it's news but who wants to actually see that.
I AM FUMING!!!!!!!!angry sad

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:31:57

I don't choose to read stuff like that either but I wholeheartedly agree with you and think that once a 'human' deliberately causes harm or death to a child they ought to lose any rights they have. Those who take a more liberal stance may feel differently if, god forbid, their own child(ren) were involved.

gordyslovesheep Thu 07-Feb-13 13:33:28

honestly - you sound slighty scary and OTT

Yes it's not nice when people hurt children - that's why we have laws

Dahlen Thu 07-Feb-13 13:33:49

That nanny was once a child herself. Most monsters are made not born. Far more productive to look at what happens in some children's childhoods to turn them into the monsters they become and work on preventing those circumstances from recurring in the future. Rage after the event is impotent.

Sugarice Thu 07-Feb-13 13:34:39

I would imagine I would like to hunt down and beat the living shit out of anyone who inflicted torture and pain on my own children but I wouldn't do it otherwise.

valiumredhead Thu 07-Feb-13 13:35:00

What gordy said.

I find over reactions like OP really odd.

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:37:05

there's been tons of research about the childhoods of men and women who have committed such crimes... the nature/nurture debate hasn't exactly been solved, what about siblings who have the same upbringing, what's the explanation when one becomes a 'monster' and the other doesn't? Everyone's entitled to an opinion but mine is, if anyone hurt a child of mine I know how I'd be feeling.

spicandspan Thu 07-Feb-13 13:38:35

So your response to wicked evil violence would be... More violence? hmm

Dryjuice25 Thu 07-Feb-13 13:39:44

I don't understand why YOU think you would be capable/willing to inflicting "lots of pain" to child abusers. Would that give you a higher moral ground do you think op? I get the sentiment though and I hate that it happens too. But to want to inflict the pain yourself makes me uncomfortable although I dont know how I would hebave if it was my child involves! <and runs from thread>

Dryjuice25 Thu 07-Feb-13 13:41:10

silly ipad what awful spelling!
behave, involved

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:41:28

so what is the solution then exactly? Do you think they can be 'cured'?

Dahlen Thu 07-Feb-13 13:44:07

That's a bit simplistic. No one is saying that a traumatic childcare necessarily creates a future abuser, but the link between the two is very strong. The fact that two people with the same childhood don't turn out the same way just shows that there is an element of personal responsibility and that nothing is preordained (in fact recollecting your own childhood with your own siblings should make it obvious that two children in the same family don't have the same childhood).

Either way, if we could eradicate child abuse and DV in all its forms, the future rate of child abuse would plummet even if it was never totally eradicated.

Of course everyone is entitled to feel rage if someone hurts someone they care about, but it's an inappropriate reaction for someone you don't know.

It's salves the feelings of the uninvolved observer and does nothing to help the victim, those who care for the victim, or contribute anything to future prevention. In short, it's a rather self-absorbed reaction.

Instead of feeling rage, donate some money to the NSPCC.

TrucksAndDinosaurs Thu 07-Feb-13 13:46:36

Understandable but unreasonable.
Second suggestion of NSPCC donation, or give some clothes and toys to a woman's refuge.

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:46:42

I don't agree that it's an inappropriate reaction, I find myself more moved by stories like this since I had children. I know the link is strong, pretty much every serial killer in history had a traumatic childhood but a hell of a lot of people do and turn out just fine. I think it'd be weirder not to feel quite strongly about things like this.

Dahlen Thu 07-Feb-13 13:48:32

What's the good in feeling strongly about something unless it translates into action? How does that help the victim or their families? It serves only to make you feel better.

FWIW, I empathise. My DC were the same age as Baby P when that case hit the news. It upset me a lot. However, instead of raging, I took part in a few national campaigns and donated some money.

sooperdooper Thu 07-Feb-13 13:48:50

Wouldn't it be an odd reaction not to be against hurting children? hmm

This reminds me of those stupid pictures on facebook with 'like if you hate child abuse' ....erm so if I ignore it it's somethig I condone??

gordyslovesheep Thu 07-Feb-13 13:49:38

I am sure everyone feels strongly - but not everyone needs an excuse to be equally violent - in words or deeds - some people are more positive and try to make an actual difference

forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 13:50:29

Oh yes lots of 'scary' people cry over newspaper articles. OTT probably (definitely).....but rage was my first reaction.
I also cry at the donkey adverts and I don't know them either!!
Perhaps it's the way I was brought up that made me such a eye for an eye??

WhatsTheBuzz Thu 07-Feb-13 13:51:09

You can't necessarily help how you feel. Feeling something isn't the same as doing it and I don't think anyone would argue with OP's opinion that this woman is 'horrible' and 'vile', I've come across descriptions of 'vile' for a lot less on here.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 07-Feb-13 13:52:57

I hate lots of things in society. That's why I volunteer and work in homelessness. I don't want to beat up people for hurting other people.

Psammead Thu 07-Feb-13 13:54:11

I think it's normal to feel angry, upset and powerless when confronted with this kind of thing. But as a previous poster said, this is why we defer to the law on such matters.

Succubi Thu 07-Feb-13 14:00:15

forcedinsomnia. I can honestly say that if anyone hurt my children to that degree I would have no hesitation whatsoever in doing time. I appreciate that violence isn't the solution for everyone which is why I also accept that if I hunt that person down and administer my own form of personal punishment then I also have to accept the consequences of my actions.

forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 14:05:09

Yes I do donate to NSPCC (and The Donkey Sanctuary)every month and work one afternoon in a local childrens charity shop.....still doesn't stop me getting angry....sorry about that.
Probably am unreasonable.....but I can't help it when it comes to defenceless babies?
The law will sort it in this intance I'm sure. She'll get communtity service and an increase in benefits when she can no longer work. Great.

forcedinsomnia Thu 07-Feb-13 14:07:14

PS all above fair comments. I may need to see a shrink.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 07-Feb-13 14:12:56

If you donate to the donkey sanctuary you can't be all bad smile

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