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To despair at EVER finding a bra that fits?!

(1000 Posts)
Silverstar2 Wed 06-Feb-13 17:41:55

So, I have read every website on the subject, been measured at Bravissimo, and STILL find every single bra uncomfortable - even the ones that Bravissimo said were the right size. I just want to rip the thing off as soon as I get in from work. They seem fine for about an hour, then start to dig in.

I find that they just 'curl up' at the back, and I get horrible back fat, or dig in at the side/arm pit, but mainly on just one side! The band never seems to sit flush to my side iyswim. I have tried going up a band and down a cup, down a band and up a cup etc, have tried every style going..........

I found when I wore my saggy old too big bras they gave me no shape or support, but my god they were comfy!

I think I am about a 36/38 E/F. I have ordered and sent back about ten bras this last month as they just all HURT.

So, AIBU to just let 'em all hang out and be pain-free??!!!!

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 10:26:29

A lot of people who are in the wrong size (especially too big in the back) feel like they "need" moulded cups, because they give the illusion of better support. And bad fit isn't quite so obvious in them sometimes smile I actually get a far better lift in a non-moulded bra, but it has to fit well. I recently bought this for example, and the lift it gives me is incredible

If your boobs are wide set then you are quite right, plunge is not a good look for you. Try a good balcony bra as a start point, generally something which is fairly high in the middle will suit you better. Also, where you have a choice you will probably find a thicker band at the back better. If you get near Freya bras, you will see that most of them change design at a GG cup - straps get thicker, extra layer of fabric in the cup and 3 clips instead of 2 at the back. They are much comfier that way!

JeffFaFa Thu 21-Feb-13 10:31:32

Ok i need help my 30DD bras arrived one white one black in the pack. I dont think they fit although they are closer than my current 34D one. The band is tight but im not sure if its too tight as im not used to wearing anything so restrictive, i can breath deeply ok but if i bend over it feels very restrictive especially the band under the cups. Now the cups are tight and i about fell over in shock that they removed all the crepyness from my boobs, currently and for years i wont bend over in public without holding the top of my top incase anyone sees down and my boobs just hang and go all crepey in my bra sad summer is a nightmare. But i had to push my boobs into the cups and after wearing for 15 mins started to bulge over the top, i couldnt scoop my boobs forward at all as they just bulged everywhere, i also noticed the black was a good big tighter than the white but both gave me overspill after wearing for 15 mins

Sooo where do i go now, a reminder that my measurements are 29 1/2 under and 34 - 321/2 across

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 10:44:19

sounds like you need to go up at least 1 cup, so a 30E but I would also try the F. That will make the back feel looser too.

Common for black to fit slightly smaller than white too, it's to do with the way the dye makes the fabric behave.

InMySpareTime Thu 21-Feb-13 10:47:27

I can't remember if I posted on here, but I have asked MN if they can start a campaign for 26" back bras for all us smaller ribcaged ladies. Ideally with product testing. Fingers crossed (back measurement 27" and getting smaller by the week!).
Next week I'm going to Bravissimo in town to see what they can do for me.

JeffFaFa Thu 21-Feb-13 10:47:58

ah theres hardly any bras at debenhams in that size sad what if i went up a back to 32DD? theres LOADS in that size or would that just not work as well?

SorrelForbes Thu 21-Feb-13 11:19:23

Probably not as the back will almost definitely be too big and won't give you the support you need.

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 11:22:13

Don't go up in the back jeffFaFa. The back on the 30 sounds fine. If the cup is too small, it can create the illusion of the back being tighter than it is, as the breast tissue pulls the back tighter to try and gain extra space. Once you go up in the cup, the 30 will feel great. And you won't get the same lift in a 32, the vast majority of the support comes from the back.

Try and leia lingerie for good deals, Leia has a brilliant outlet section and brastop is very reasonable.

JeffFaFa Thu 21-Feb-13 11:23:39

Ok will return there and try a 30E and see how that goes, ist strange as im not at all large chested and as soon as i put a bra on they just appear from somewhere. Looking at the models at debenhams for the 30E cups they look massive compared to me.

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 11:24:49

Inmysparetime, in the short term there is something called the Rixie Clip (avail on ebay) been brought out which is a bra back reducer. I think Panache are bringing out a 26 back too, so hopefully there will be enough demand for that to convince others to go that way. I agree it is definitely needed though, I was a size 12 with a 28 back so there must be quite a lot of women who would need them (if their bras fitted!)

soaccidentprone Thu 21-Feb-13 11:26:59


Panache as supposed to be bringing a 26 band out next month.

worth contacting them to ask?

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 11:27:04

I'm a bit like that - if you saw them "loose" you would never guess my boobs were anything like the size they are.

this lady is a 30E
and this one

ComeAlongPond Thu 21-Feb-13 11:34:35

That Betsy bra is really pretty.

Sorry for another stupid question but how do we tell if our boobs are wide set or close set or whatever? It never really occurred to me to think about that...

Velve Thu 21-Feb-13 11:42:10

Yay, thanks ladies. Off to do some pamper shopping for my boobs.

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 11:49:03

Wide set/close set refers to the gap between them.
some people also refer to the width of the base or "root" of their breasts - if you have a narrow root they are all on the front, where as a wide root goes round further under the armpit

LisaMed Thu 21-Feb-13 11:56:18

Marking my place to come back and read at leisure. 40K. Probably. Am wearing 40K as I type and I have a mound of overspill in the front.

Big, saggy, heavy and I don't like underwired.

I'm off to have a mammogram tomorrow - that should be a laugh.

AltogetherAndrews Thu 21-Feb-13 11:57:27

Well, I know my boobs are wide set, because there's a gap of about 2 inches between them when I don't have a bra on, and with a bra, that reduces to les than an inch, but they don't touch unless I cross my arms over them. Even in cleavage bras, I don't get a cleavage! I have a friend with similar sized boobs whose boobs form a perfect line down the middle in low cut tops, but mine can't do that.

JeffFaFa Thu 21-Feb-13 12:17:50

those pics help sc i actually look about that size lol, will report back how i get on when ive ordered 30E

the wide set, close set thing is funny, mine were always close until i had 2 dc's now they are wide they migrated south, east and west!

JeffFaFa Thu 21-Feb-13 12:29:14

Meant to say when i put the bra on i put it on backwards then spin and pull up, when im pulling it up to get right under my boobs its really tight to pull up over my ribs is that how its meant to be? when on properly i can get 2 fingers in the back

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 12:37:33

You should try to learn how to put it on the other way. A well fitting bra is quite difficult to spin round so they should be fastened at the back. I would struggle to put mine on the other way, so that's normal

Close set boobs are quite difficult too - mine are very close and it's tricky to get bras that don't hurt in the middle.

JeffFaFa Thu 21-Feb-13 12:48:19

really, i always thought they were meant to go on backwards, sure my mum taught me that way lol not sure if i could do a bra up without looking will give it a bash though.

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 21-Feb-13 12:57:53

If a bra fits well, it's very difficult to actually swivel them around because they are so firm. It does take practice though!

soaccidentprone Thu 21-Feb-13 12:59:05

I put my bra on by putting on my arms in the straps, sort of leaning forwards to put my boobs in the cups, then fasten the hooks at the back, pull my straps up, the 'scoop' each breast into it's cup. I sometimes have to move the back strap down a little and 'wiggle' the bra to get comfy. I then check in the mirror that my boobs are level and that the bra is straight all the way round.

I've always done it this way, but I am quite dextrousgrin

sometimes it just takes practice.

bra's used to be fitted a lot looser than they are now which is why you would have been able to spin it after fastening at the front.

I think my first bra from John lewis was a 32a!

JeffFaFa Thu 21-Feb-13 13:09:40

Going to give that a try soaccident..

Im sitting here with about 4 tabs on the pc open of different bra shops completely baffled! there is just so much to look at, all i want is a basic bra in white and black, preferably not too expensive, preferably with a moulded cup as i hate fabric ones, the ones i bought from debenhams were the perfect style for me but sadly only go up to a DD sad

Somebodysomewhere Thu 21-Feb-13 13:16:20

I dont know what i am. I think probably a 28. I currently wear a very small 30B/C depending on time of the month. So I guess a 28 C/D ? But I can only find either 28 AA or 28 DDs everywhere and no nice bras for little people that have breasts but not large breasts. sad any ideas ?

soaccidentprone Thu 21-Feb-13 13:35:35


something like this?

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