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To despair at EVER finding a bra that fits?!

(1000 Posts)
Silverstar2 Wed 06-Feb-13 17:41:55

So, I have read every website on the subject, been measured at Bravissimo, and STILL find every single bra uncomfortable - even the ones that Bravissimo said were the right size. I just want to rip the thing off as soon as I get in from work. They seem fine for about an hour, then start to dig in.

I find that they just 'curl up' at the back, and I get horrible back fat, or dig in at the side/arm pit, but mainly on just one side! The band never seems to sit flush to my side iyswim. I have tried going up a band and down a cup, down a band and up a cup etc, have tried every style going..........

I found when I wore my saggy old too big bras they gave me no shape or support, but my god they were comfy!

I think I am about a 36/38 E/F. I have ordered and sent back about ten bras this last month as they just all HURT.

So, AIBU to just let 'em all hang out and be pain-free??!!!!

greencolorpack Sun 17-Feb-13 21:15:26

I recommend going to get fitted at M and S. I had a great session yesterday and am wearing a lovely well fitting bra for the first time in years and years. I will wear the poor thing to death and in a few years go and try again!!

I have enormous (.) (.) and I find it amusing the way the woman in the shop skirts around saying so. "the fuller figured women often find..." just call the big tits! I'm not embarrassed, I've come to terms with it. Lol

SorrelForbes Sun 17-Feb-13 21:21:11

She thinks I'm practising m'audition wink

What you need to bear in mind is that a 28DD is still a fairly small cup, volume wise. A 36DD for example is a much bigger cup. Remember, cup sizes do not exist without a back size.

<posé turns and exits stage right>

(whispers) Imperfect, you may also want to try a 28e

You could order a few online to try on. Unfortunately the press has a major tendency to misreport bra sizes which means they have created a perception that anything bigger than a d is huge. Its not. And you can't consider a cup size on it's own either - a D cup on a 28 has a much smaller volume than a d on a 34 or a 38 for example

Greencolorpak, unless you have met the only wise fitter employed by M&S there is a very high chance they got the fitting wrong. Read upthread a bit, or have a look at some of the old bra threads.

ImperfectPirouette Sun 17-Feb-13 21:29:22

I have a lovely plot bunny for Sorrel giving up acting to pursue a secret true love of bra-fitting (presumably discovered in theatre wardrobe departments) now...

Merci bien for the v sensible advice Sorrel & Statistically. Am thinking maybe I'll drop in to somewhere on Oxford Street before/after class tomorrow if I can screw my courage to the sticking point. (Yes, is just buying bras, I know, but it still feels rather like being expected to have afternoon tea with a hungry lion... blush) Any recs for where/which styles would be most sensible to try?

For a 28 back you might be as well going to Bravissimo. I'm an Edinburgh lass but there is one near Oxford Street I seem to recall. Alternatively you could try somewhere like Debenhams who tend to stock them.

greencolorpack Sun 17-Feb-13 21:35:12

Statistically I can never find anything that fits, I'm crying with gratitude if she gets something that appears to get near whatever size I am. I roam the bra stores in desperation and get sniffy cows saying "we don't do sports bras in that size" to me which puts me off! Shopping for clothes is an exercise in self loathing for me so I do it rarely cos lifes too short.

When you are outsize in anything the concept of choice is laughable. You find something nearly right that fits, you buy it and three more and hold on tight. I am the same with hats. I hate the design of all my hats but if they fit I buy them because it will be months before I find another shop with my freakish head size.

soaccidentprone Sun 17-Feb-13 21:38:20

so where has Rocky gone?grin

Verve, have you tried buying a bra with removable pads and then only removing the pad from one side. or try a different style. all bra's fit differently, and even the same manufacturer styles can differ slightly in the fit.

I suggest you go and try a few different styles and manufacturers on. when you have found one which fits (using the scooping method) you need to move around in it for 5 minutes or so, bending and stretching, lifting your arms etc. the bra should not move and should still be comfy. you may also be more comfy in a bra which has a larger % of Lycra in it.

chicken. I have found this in your size however I have no idea how comfy etc they are.

and this one from figleaves

showtunesgirl Sun 17-Feb-13 21:42:48

<now pondering if she knows Sorrel in RL> hmm

green I do get that honestly - I am not exactly a standard size and have been far worse in the past. Out of interest, can you take your measurements? You will be able to tell pretty quickly if she has got it anywhere near correct, as if you measure under your bust (firmly) in inches, then that should be the back size of your bra (obviously with rounding if you are an odd number)

If it's not, she probably didn't get it right.

JeffFaFa Sun 17-Feb-13 21:43:28

Imperfectper.. i measure 29 under and 34 over which is similar if not smaller than your measurments and i wouldnt say im flat chested, i have more than a hand full anyway wink they definatly DO more independantly to me! i need good support for working out.

Ive still to order a new bra im my newly advised size im a bit poor just now but will report back when i try out them out.

showtunesgirl Sun 17-Feb-13 21:43:53

Oh and the Bravissimo is on Margaret Street. Find the big TopShop and it's a couple of streets behind it.

ImperfectPirouette Sun 17-Feb-13 22:09:01

Statistically: Debenhams is less intimidating because it is not immediately all "bras! bras! you must be here for a BRA! everyone who sees you here knows you are shopping for underwear & is in some way MOCKING YOU!" (I know noone actually cares in the slightest I'm off shopping for undies. But I may have a slight crazy in my head over body image etc. Hem.)

Greencolorpack: I struggle with clothes-buying as am apparently considered to be Freakishly Small hmm so completely hear what you're saying about choice & buying multiples of things Because They Fit. (I am bitterly regretting not buying multiple pairs of the Next kids jeans that fit me beautifully & are incredibly comfy & are always garnering compliments. Idiot self, idiot.) It is embarrassing to have to wear children's hats & gloves and shop assistants get snarky when things come up too big on me/try to insist I must need a bigger size than is the case. (Notably the woman in Coast when my sister sent me to try on a possible bridesmaiding outfit. The skirt was hanging off my hips & the waist bit of the bodice was perched on my hips & the woman was insisting that was definitely the size I needed because it fitted her & I certainly wasn't thinner than her. Uh-huh...) It is grand you're feeling comfy in & happy with your new bras, but might be worth measuring yourself as per the guidelines further up & seeing what size you come up with.

Showtunes: Apparently there's one in Covent Garden too. I'm fairly sure I've beetled past it on my way to/from the ROH/dance shops etc...

JeffFaFa: Maybe it's because I've been teased for my "tiny bras for a tiny person" for so long that my breasts haven't realised they should be jiggling? Maybe I am wearing an imaginary Bra Of Steel that prevents any such antics: Ballet Discipline on a whole new level? Certainly most of my leotards give me a decidedly 12-year-old-girl type-figure - which, in fairness, is generally considered a plus in ballet but as I'm not a pro I wouldn't mind not looking so flat - and I got awfully excited about the one I own that gives the illusion of my having an actual bust. Was your second measurement doing the bendyover thing? If I don't do the bendyover my second measurement's more like 32"...

Velve Sun 17-Feb-13 22:30:05

* soaccidentprone *
Yes, I do all that by default and I spent years in 32 and 34 backs so when I found out my true size a couple of years back I've been on a mission. My biggest issues when wearing the wrong size bra were the shifting and moving and straps falling off my shoulders which has now been fixed. I have found that the only styles that suit my shape are balconette and half cup, all others make me look and feel weird.
I think my problem is that a 28 back isn't available with huge amount of variety, so I think I 'm stuck with Freya, Panache (my favourite) and Miss Mandalay.
I must say I do have sensitive skin so pressure from bras probably starts to bother me quicker than other ladies.
I have currently tried every model of 28 back bras on the figleaves website (!!!!). Next I will go through bravissimo and Freya. The most comfortable so far has been the Cleo Juna which I love in every way (other than the already mentioned issue)

Velve Sun 17-Feb-13 22:31:08

pfffft don't know where those spaces between you username and ** came from... damn it.

Velve, have you tried Curvy Kate? They are available cheap on
Also, worth checking amazon - I have picked up lots of bras there very reasonably and often see panache, cleo, masquerade and curvy kate going very very cheap.

ImperfectPirouette Sun 17-Feb-13 22:47:45


I have problems with my skin marking very VERY easily because of my connective tissue disorder - have you found any of those brands better than others for that? I end up with shocking welts from anything that's firm against my skin confused

soaccidentprone Sun 17-Feb-13 23:32:11

[[ 3 bra's for £1grin ]]

I wonder why they haven't sold at the full price? is it 'cos they are bloody ugly?

soaccidentprone Sun 17-Feb-13 23:32:40


soaccidentprone Sun 17-Feb-13 23:37:54


[[ this has been mentioned many times as a good buy and doesn't appear to have many seams to mark your skin and connective tissue.

soaccidentprone Sun 17-Feb-13 23:38:42


I think I need sleepsad

ImperfectPirouette Sun 17-Feb-13 23:50:48

Thank you accident grin

I should really be trying to get some sleep too, but I cannot seem to drag myself away from Mumsnet...

showtunesgirl Mon 18-Feb-13 00:08:08

Ooh Freya Deco is on sale on Very!

showtunesgirl Mon 18-Feb-13 00:09:26

Bugger, only in limited sizes. sad

Ip, the curvy Kate showgirl range ( I partic like the tease m) is made of lovely soft fabric, seems to have extra padding around the wires and uses a soft edge on the back too.

The crazy clearance website has some great reductions just now everyone, justordered 3 freya/fantasie bras for just under 40

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