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I want a second dog, husband doesn't.

(39 Posts)
Samu2 Wed 06-Feb-13 11:55:01

I am pretty sure that most would class me as unreasonable here.

Basically, I want another dog and my husband doesn't. I came across a pup I really wanted and he put his foot down. His reasons? he doesn't think we "need" another one and he doesn't want to make life more hard work for ourselves.

I would take full responsibility for another dog, I am here all day every day and trained our other dog. I would not ask him to do a thing and while I know another dog will affect him to some extent he wouldn't have to care for it. I know that he would love it anyway. I would love two dogs and I feel like this is the right time to do it when I can be here pretty much all day long and dedicate a lot of time to training.

We have a very good marriage but today we had a really horrible argument over it. He has put his foot down and said no, and no amount of discussing it with him will change his mind. In 7 years he has never put his foot down, I must admit that he probably compromises more than I do.. if I am being brutally honest, so he must really be dead against it.

I will have to respect his wishes obviously but am I being U for being really sad and really hurt with him? We rarely argue and I don't like feeling this way but right now I feel like a young kid who has been told no and perhaps I am just being a spoilt bitch, but I am really angry and resentful.

I want to try to forget it and move on, but I just feel so angry and sad right now and a stupid part of me really hated being told no. He thinks I need to grow up right now wink

Samu2 Wed 06-Feb-13 18:09:49

Oh, and I think this place is awesome.

I needed a reality check for sure. Just typing it out made me realise that while my husband didn't with it well either, I completely put him on the spot and my behaviour was what resulted in his attitude.

I even made him a big chocolate cake to say sorry grin

Samu2 Wed 06-Feb-13 18:11:28

deal with it well*

Sparrows, we call it "barking at every falling leaf".

"Oh another leaf fell, armageddon is starting!" Before if the dog heard something she would bark once, get up, realise it was nothing and lie down again. Now the dog who heard it lies down but the second one is already agitated and then the first one gets up again. ARGH.

And yes I agree about them paying more attention to me than each other. Walking them together makes their training go out the window and they pull and act like idiots. It is really hard to work on the bad behaviour when they are both doing it. You can put one dog in another room and work on it but the other whines and scratches and while it works with only one, the other comes back in and all bets are off.

Plus we now have giant muddy craters in the back, first dog had never dug until second dog came.

Samu, I like the foster idea (or dog sitting for a friend on holiday) if you still have pangs, it is a good dry run.

LindyHemming Wed 06-Feb-13 19:07:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NaughtyBetty Thu 28-Feb-13 16:51:29

Hi Samu, did you get your dog? I want a second one too but DH says no...

KellyElly Thu 28-Feb-13 16:56:49

How come the person who says no always gets their way?? If you really want another dog that much then he needs to have a really good reason to say no - not just what he 'thinks' may be the case. He's not your lord and master! Stick to your guns. It's not in the same ball park as another child for goodness sake. I would just get the dog personally.

Mother2many Thu 28-Feb-13 18:42:25

I hear ya... I even asked if I could foster dogs, but that was also a big NO... I wanted to rescue a dog...but... I know it's a sad feeling.

Two way street doesn't mean it's a happy one....just one you have to accept.


Samu2 Thu 28-Feb-13 18:51:51

We did get another one in the end smile

We had a long chat about it and he explained how it was the way I went about it that put him in a mood with me and why he wouldn't talk it through properly. After I had apologised he agreed to discuss it with me.

He told me his worries and we talked and talked and then he decided we would get one. It is going very well, he is very smitten with him and everything is working out just as I had hoped.

NaughtyBetty Thu 28-Feb-13 19:03:01

I remember posting because I wanted a dog and DH didn't, I got one in the end!

Slippersox Thu 28-Feb-13 19:11:35

Well this won't help sorry but from my experience - and that's 30 years of dog ownership and many years working with animals, two dogs have been great fun and I would say ,in the case of the various combinations of dogs we have had over the years,they have also been wonderful companions and mates to each other.We have had a mongrel and Labrador, a Labrador and a border collie ,then the collie until she was 16 and another mongrel.Now have just the one elderly dog - we don't want to get another just yet as he's very doddery but when we do I wouldn't rule out the combination of another two.Dogs have a way of finding us!
Alongside our growing family they have brought immense pleasure and countless funny moments.Yes a bit more mud and mess, but I'm pretty strict on routine ie. sleep on their beds only, not allowed in main part of house until fox poo and damp removed.A lot depends on your house/ garden set up.And finances of course.But as you say you are at home all the time you are in an ideal position to introduce ,train and settle in another dog.And if you are walking one, why not walk two.
I would also disagree that dogs don't need the company of other dogs, it's not essential but most dogs do love it .They are very sociable animals after all.
It is a tough one if he feels so strongly in the opposite direction.Like deciding on another child if you are not on the same page I guess. so good luck resolving it.
Maybe I'm just mad.We also have three children and have always had two cats !

mmmuffins Thu 28-Feb-13 19:16:47

Really pleased to hear it worked out OP smile Enjoy your second pup!

Slippersox Thu 28-Feb-13 19:18:00

Feel stupid now because I have just seen end of your thread and realized you got your dog!Completely mis read dates on earlier posts and got muddled up.Glad to hear it and that its going well.Still glad I posted because I've had a stressful day at work and just reminiscing about all our lovely dogs and how much a part of the family they have been has brought a big smile to my face.Just off to cuddle my dog now!

Samu2 Thu 28-Feb-13 19:28:49

Well if you are mad I am too. I have five children and three cats grin

I love watching mine play and while my bigger dog was always happy and have so much fun with my children she loves having another dog in the house. She is so gentle with him and I feel like my life has been enriched.

NaughtyBetty Thu 28-Feb-13 20:32:09

Aww, really pleased for you too! grin

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