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for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

(660 Posts)
StarlightMcKenzie Tue 05-Feb-13 14:57:24

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

brettgirl2 Tue 05-Feb-13 15:58:33

How do you know when the op happens if they don't tell you? I doubt it was going to take her 15 minutes with a 7 month old.

toobreathless Tue 05-Feb-13 15:59:01

Personally I think YANBU.

If its for reasons of space then I fail to see how a breastfeeding baby on your lap takes up any extra space. I also fail to see how a feeding baby can be distressing other children. It sounds as though you made every extra provision you could by having your aunt there, but she cannot breastfeed DS2 or sign consents for DS1.

Yes rules are there for a reason but sometimes you need to be a bit flexible. I would have happily have put my foot down with any one getting up tight about DS2 being there while you feed him.

(Doctor by trade)

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 05-Feb-13 16:02:23

'It was one of the best things about breastfeeding for me, I could head hunger off at the pass when I was anticipating a situation that could make feeding tricky. '

yes. The baby was asleep when we arrived. I was predicting that he would stay asleep and I could wake him when it was convenient to pop out. It didn't work like that however. I don't have that level of control 100% of the time.

MrsMiniversCharlady Tue 05-Feb-13 16:04:23

So they DID let your aunt come on to the ward while you fed your baby? There was a rule which they didn't enforce. What am I missing because I don't understand the problem confused

bigkidsdidit Tue 05-Feb-13 16:06:09

Sounds a tough situation but I think YABU too.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 05-Feb-13 16:06:50

Thank you too.

DS has times when he NEEDs bm, but other times when he can have water/rice cake. But when he is grouchy, and for the first feed of the day, he NEEDS bm.

I cannot express and ds cannot take a bottle, and tbh, that isn't what ds needs most out of a breastfeed anyway.

After the first feed of the day he almost certainly falls asleep, which he did. Anaethetist was surprised when she saw his foot move as she hadn't even noticed him despite talking to me even though he was feeding.

CunfuddledAlways Tue 05-Feb-13 16:08:17

how old is baby?? some posters have said 7 months but can't see op say this?? also why not express?? as my post above ^^ says YABU

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 05-Feb-13 16:09:01

They did let my aunt in, but I never asked them too. I just wanted the baby. Aunt was holding back in the waiting room, but nurse then beckoned her.

Once they knew baby was coming regardless, they didn't seem to mind aunt (perhaps because most of the other children had two parents!?). Aunt left after less than 10 minutes with sleeping baby.

sarahtigh Tue 05-Feb-13 16:13:26

your baby would have cried because he was not feed exactly when he wanted to be fed but also he would have come to no long term harm being left with aunt for 15-20 minutes,

I do understand BF did it myself but if driving on motorway you have to go to next service station at very least before you can stop, ( as stopping on hard shoulder would be idiocy) that could be anything between 1 and 25 miles away so you just carry on driving with crying baby not nice but not life threatening at that precise moment your older child was the priority not the baby

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 05-Feb-13 16:16:04

sarah, he would have not come to harm, except stress. However, he would have pissed off a whole waiting room full of people screaming the way he does when he doesn't get his feed. He would not have been consolable (and I expect we would have heard him from the ward), and I had no way of knowing how long it would be before I could get back to him. It could have taken any length of time.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 05-Feb-13 16:17:43

Did you ask the nurse how long it would be before you were needed and could have then timed the feed better?

I have yet to see an NHS hospital being able to give me that sort of information re some surgery...

Actually we tell our patients what time their surgery is. So less of the sweeping generalisations about the nhs please.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 05-Feb-13 16:18:45

I didn't see a nurse. When I did, she wanted ds NOW.

Christmasberry Tue 05-Feb-13 16:19:11

When my daughter had an op your were allowed breastfeeding babies 6months and under in with ou and o stay the night. My baby was older so had to go home with daddy and bottle of expressed, my boobs were killing by the morning!

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 05-Feb-13 16:22:12

Clearly the world is BU, so I'm not sure why you posted.

In hospital we have a job to do, theatres have to run on time else patients get cancelled. There can't be delays. I don't see why your baby couldn't be allowed with you to feed, but you cannot take a baby into the anaesthetic room or theatres.

Safety is a big part of it. I've had to chuck chairs out the way before to get to a patient in an emergency.

TheSecondComing Tue 05-Feb-13 16:22:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DizzyZebra Tue 05-Feb-13 16:23:14

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

AThingInYourLife Tue 05-Feb-13 16:24:33


Some people are way too obedient.

knackeredmother Tue 05-Feb-13 16:24:55

yANBU, there seems to be some very petty rules in hospitals. Patients not allowed mobile phones but doctors and nurses carrying theirs in their pockets. Only this weekend I had words with a nurse who made the wife of a dying man stand in the corridor because she turned up 10 mins too early for visiting time.

Bobyan Tue 05-Feb-13 16:26:14

I hope your baby hasn't caught something from the patients on the ward.

YABU and very argumentative. Crash doll summed it up!

CloudsAndTrees Tue 05-Feb-13 16:26:30

I don't think YABU. If the NHS was a better service, they wouldn't have needed to rule against bf siblings in the first place.

The problem isn't with you breaking a rule, it's with the massive underfunding in hospitals that make them so overstretched that they can't either

a) give you your appointment on time so that you could have planned around it efficiently
b) waited for you for 15/20 minutes without putting a whole days worth of operations late
c) offered you somewhere private away from other patients where you could have met the needs of both of your children at the same time.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 05-Feb-13 16:28:10

'I don't see why your baby couldn't be allowed with you to feed, but you cannot take a baby into the anaesthetic room or theatres.'

Baby didn't go into anaesthetic room or a theatre. Quite surprised I was expected to go into both tbh.

Baby just came to the ward, fed and went back to waiting room. Siblings were not allowed to attend for reasons of SPACE, not safety or infection.

TSC The baby would not have imploded, but he would have annoyed a hell of a lot of people with his screaming, some of them in-patients. I have never had issues with hospitals and rules btw.

TheSecondComing Tue 05-Feb-13 16:28:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSecondComing Tue 05-Feb-13 16:29:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Panzee Tue 05-Feb-13 16:30:30

I don't know if you were BU or not, but you clearly don't think you were, so why ask?

PearlyWhites Tue 05-Feb-13 16:31:06

For goodness sake of course Yanbu what if you baby was the patient! Can't understand posters who think you we're being unreasonable.

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