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It's up to mums to teach their boys that pubic hair on women is normal!?

(297 Posts)
Uppatreecuppatea Mon 04-Feb-13 21:55:09

I've read countless surveys and reports over the last few months that state that young men would be 'grossed out' if they went to bed with a woman and found that she had pubic hair.

They seem to think that all women either come hair free or should wax it all off.

I think a lot of this attitude comes down to them viewing porn where it's normal for a woman to have zero pubic hair and a neat little pudenda.

It's a worry. I quizzed the local boys who work in our pub and they all wax their chest and think pubic hair is disgusting on both men and women.

So glad I am married to a man who appreciates the 70's!

But what is in store for our young girls?

countrykitten Wed 06-Feb-13 21:26:14

WTF business is it of anyone else if I keep my fanny trimmed and neat (not bald but close to)? Getting a bit pissed off being told that I am stupid and have been manipulated by men and porn to do this. Fwiw I have never let my pubic hair fully grow as I started trimming as a young teenager - about the same time that I started to shave my legs and under my arms. So what? Shoot me. And this was over 20 years ago when porn was not readily available. Some women and stupid and patronising and need to get a grip.

One post made me laugh - the poster was weeping in to her porridge that 'real feminism' is dying and then went on to say that she was worried about the 'young ladies' of today. That did give me a giggle.

And as for the OIP - sexist stupid drivel.

countrykitten Wed 06-Feb-13 21:26:31

That would be OP not OIP!

RedJeans Wed 06-Feb-13 21:37:59

Am another one who started shaving my pubic hair before I'd ever seen any glimpse of porn or had a boyfriend to influence me! no idea really why I decided to do it other than just not liking it! Definitely wasn't told to by anybody or pressured, I made my own choice

So I don't think the current trend is completely to do with porn, I think people are perhaps more willing to change their bodies then before maybe, or just that we're more aware of what people do with their pubes than before! A lot must be down to personal preference

Writehand Wed 06-Feb-13 22:00:24

Countrykitten, your own preferences are your own preferences and I, at least, am not getting at you. Women have always trimmed their bushes and done as they wished.

However it does appear to be true that among the very young - under 21? -- it's becoming more than an expectation -- a demand -- that all hair be removed. I've heard boys call pubic hair of any sort on girls disgusting. That's what worries me.

Darkesteyes Wed 06-Feb-13 22:14:26

Thing is Writehand some of those girls may think Fuck it. And decide to date older guys instead.

countrykitten Wed 06-Feb-13 22:26:53

I am a teacher around teenagers day in and day out and have never heard anything like this from boys or girls. I wonder how true all of this actually is....?

WorraLiberty Wed 06-Feb-13 22:32:30

A demand? Really?

Where do you get your information from?

I've heard boys call pubic hair of any sort on girls disgusting. That's what worries me.

What worries me (well, bemuses me really) is the amount of people who don't seem to 'get' that it's not just a 'boy' dislike of pubic hair on girls.

It's very much a 2 way thing and just as many girls are recoiling from male pubic hair, chest hair, back hair and facial hair (in some cases).

When was the last time you saw a hairy chested/backed male model? Most of them don't even have armpit hair nowadays.

countrykitten Wed 06-Feb-13 22:35:36

Agreed worraliberty.

Writehand Wed 06-Feb-13 23:09:15

I have 2 teenage DSs and, for various reasons, I know loads more. I posted a long thing about porn on another thread, and some of my information comes from that issue, which affected one of DSs big time. You may well be right that girls feel the same about boys having body hair, Countrykitten, as all my information comes from boys, but what bothers me is the whole "disgust" thing about body hair. Seems so unrealistic and so prissy. Might as well complain that they urinate.

Reminds me of John Ruskin, the Victorian art critic, who refused to consummate his marriage on the grounds of revulsion, believed to be at his bride's pubic hair. Seems he had only ever seen classical marble nudes and saw her natural state as repulsive.

N.B. Briefly considered, but discarded, asking my DS2s g'friend what she thinks about male body hair. She'd be mortified, sweet shy girl!!

ComposHat Thu 07-Feb-13 01:05:32

It's very much a 2 way thing and just as many girls are recoiling from male pubic hair, chest hair, back hair and facial hair

I am very glad that I'm in my mid 30s and am in a long term relationship. If I had to remove my luxuriant body hair, I'd never actually get out of the salon to meet anyone. The excess hair would be enough to keep Wogan, Bruce Forsyth and Tony Blackburn in wigs for decades to come.

Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 01:58:25

Its a different thing in this link but the same kind of pressure. Im willing to bet that there arent many women/girls putting this kind of pressure on their partners and treating them like this.

Saski Fri 08-Feb-13 16:17:46

I believe you are referring to me weeping in my porridge, countrykitten, re: post-feminism - but not because of waxing. I don't know how anyone can dispute that feminism has taken a major nose dive.

Anyway, carry on.

biff23 Fri 08-Feb-13 19:52:29

Worriedmummy73 that has made me laugh sooooooo much, couldn't agree more. I remember being really scared about playing certain music backwards! Justin
Beiber lol.

On a serious ish note, I like mine pretty much gone am I weird? Who cares, it works for me and at the age of 45 I stopped worrying about people's opinions of my pubes a long time ago smile

FestiveFrollockingFrenzy Fri 08-Feb-13 19:54:38

Its not normal to have any particular pubic hair style. Its personal choice.

maleview70 Fri 08-Feb-13 19:56:10

Bring back 70's and 80's porn and you have your solution!

whois Fri 08-Feb-13 20:47:59

I like mine in the slightly fluffy soft new growth after a full wax. Does that make me a slave to porn, men and the sexist society? Oh well.

With hair removal more acceptable and less painful than ever before (hello lycon!!!) no wonder more women and men do something to their public hair.

EmmaThorn Thu 07-Mar-13 09:56:49

I've taught my kids to respect everyone - and they know that friends and relationships (when they have them) are based on human connection and emotional interaction in addition to physical characteristics. I hope my kids therefore realise that its not all about physical appearance.

rottentomatoes Thu 07-Mar-13 10:23:28


The point is if a women truly chooses to have all her pubes waxed off then fine but if she doesn't she shouldn't be ridiculed.

The OP has not said that people should never wax she has said that boys should not see women who don't as gross.

The argument that we shave arm pits and legs so why not pubes is ridiculous. Firstly because we only shave arm pits etc because society deems it necessary. Men, who sweat more than women, don't shave for hygiene reasons women do because it's the norm, not a true choice. Just because we have an enforced society norm on shaving certain parts of the body should mean we move to a new society norm to shave more bloody areas.

As I said, if people want to that's fine but boys should not generally think it abnormal if girls don't and visa versa.

countrykitten Thu 07-Mar-13 10:54:28

Saski if you are the poster who used the horribly patronising phrase 'young ladies' then yes, I am talking about you.

whimsicalmess Thu 07-Mar-13 12:21:55

Unless their own mothers are porn stars, they aren't really to blame are they?

In this case its mainly media. society etc that needs to sort itself out!

ukatlast Thu 07-Mar-13 13:33:41

In a word, yes. If boys have looked at stuff on the internet, they don't know what normal is. Do they think all girls should have boob jobs too so they look the same as the pictures?
Many men I know are sufficiently hirsute for body shaving to be impossible. My own DH has got hairier and hairier over the years. This is normal. Do not be afraid to say so.
Life is too short to be removing body hair wholesale with the exception of underarm hair in women (German women used to often leave these and not shave it off) and those middle-aged facial hairs.

ubik Thu 07-Mar-13 17:27:04

I don't really care if my daughters shave their bits long as they don't leave hairs in the bath.

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