To ask you what your most cringe worthy faux pas has been?(37 Posts)
And make me feel better about mine in the process?
I had a friend over with her daughters on Friday night. We were drinking wine and watching films whilst the girls went to bed. I was a bit tiddled. I started talking about this girl who I envy as she has amazing hair whereas mine is shite. I said rather bitchily "Well her face isn't anything special...a bit like yours and mine but her hair is amazing!" Oh my goodness I wanted the ground to swallow me up! To which my very good natured friend replied "Oh so your saying I'm not pretty now!"
She is actually very pretty.
Things got worse in the morning when I was describing the horrid basin haircuts that my mum used to cut for me; with a fringe. Yes my friend has a fringe! Can you tell I have hair issues?! I sound so shallow but I am not obsessed with appearance any more than the next girl. I did sound like a bitch.
The most annoying thing about the fauz pas of course is that the more you try and explain yourself out of it, the deeper hole you dig! Please share with me yours. I am still cringing now.
Several years ago now but I still curl up and whimper inside when I think of it. A bloke I used to work with was a bit of a tub. I didn't see him often as we worked in different departments. So when I saw him after a couple of months of not seeing him, and he'd massively slimmed down, I congratulated him and asked him what his secret was. "Cancer" he replied.
Was with DD and spotted a very cute little doggy with it's owner. DD was a bit wary of dogs so I seized my opportunity to demonstrate how lovely they are:
'Oh isn't he's lovely. What kind of dog is he?' I asked the man whilst nodding encouragingly at DD
'mutter mutter' he replied
'Sorry I didn't hear - I always forget what they are called' I insisted
'mutter mutter shooo' he almost whispered
'A what?' I asked again slightly louder
'A SHITS ZOO' he said, saw the gasp on DD's face and scarpered just as DD piped up 'THAT MAN SAID SHIT' in a very accusing tone and pointed at his retreating back.
I have stopped accosting people in the street now.
SO many - where to start?
At my new office I was trying to make friends.
Went out to lunch with a french girl who smoked like a chimney. During the conversation she said "Im 38" ( in french accent)
My jaw dropped and I said " oh wow you definitely dont look it - i thought you were early thirties - max 35. Whats your secret - is it french food"
She shot me a murderous glance and said "I said 28 not 38"
That was the end of that friendship.
Having recently started a new job I told a colleague that I was sick of one of the guys coming to my floor to flirt and hit on my staff. Turned out it was her boyfriend
LOL at these.
I deal with the public in my workplace and once dealt with a man and a much older looking woman. I asked the man if this was his mother. It turned out it was his wife.
Explaining to my boss how in Northern Ireland (maybe just Belfast) the name for chavs was Millies. Or Spides for boys.
On and on I went about how when I see such and such a style or behaviour I think "fekkin Millie" rather than chav.
Yep - his daughter's called Millie.
This was at my cousin's wedding. One of those long rambling speechy affairs where people kept getting up to add their ten pence worth. The bride's mother, however, did an interesting number all about her lack of warmth towards her own children and this being because her own father had been very cold towards her as a child. Everyone was a bit but the family is a bit eccentric so it was par for the course.
I was starving when they finally
released us finished and let us loose on the champagne. Instantly drunk, I wobbled up to my friend's new girlfriend. She was a bit wary of me because I had had a clandestine relationship with the friend previously to her getting together with him, and she was just about the only person apart from us who knew. It was never mentioned between us and we were all trying to move on with dignity.
Thinking I was being matey, I commented on the mother of the bride's surprise speech. With other, more amusing, family indiscretions in mind, I then slurred "Well we know some worse secrets that that, don't we?" with a big wink, before reeling off into a hedge as I realised what it must have sounded like.
She must have thought I was really rubbing her nose in it. I was effectively frozen out of their lives after that for several years.
I was on the receiving end once.
Came into college late.
Friend runs up, sees me looking like seven kinds of shite and asks "Woah, who died!"
Had to tell her it was my Grandfather. A friend who had figured what had happened was practically slow mo running with a "nooooooooooooo face" behind her to attempt to intervene (she didn't want to tell the faux-pas-er in case it wasn't as bad as she'd thought).
Not in touch with the person who made the faux pas any more, but the other friend and I regularly have a little giggle about how awful and yet hilarious the whole thing was.
So fear not, they'll all laugh about it eventually.
At the swimming pool one morning I got chatting to a very elderly man who was slowly but resolutely swimming many laps. He told me he was 93 and I said "That's really impressive!" He said something like "I'm sure you'll be swimming laps at my age" and I said ...
"I'm pretty sure I'll be dead by then."
I'd been emailing a travel company for quotes for a holiday with prices for both business and economy class. I was forwarding these on to my husband for his opinion. She came back with a revised quote including business class flights which looked too good to be true, so I asked her to double check.
Sure enough, she came back and told me they were economy flights. I meant to send an email to my husband saying, "the dippy cow cocked it up" but I hit reply instead ...
Tried to pull a dwarf woman out of a toy shop.
Left a woman with a spinal injury on the rooftop breakfast bit of a hotel with her sundress round her waist exposing her breasts.
Dropped a piece of toe on the floor of an operating theatre.....
Gossiping drunkenly about one of DHs colleagues wifes and speculating how much he'd paid for her. They were sitting behind us.
Was shown a class picture in a newspaper which contained a colleagues child, who I'd never seen ( the child I mean). Pointed at one "Jesus, she's not the prettiest", or words to that effect.
Of course, that was her daughter.
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