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To ask you what your most cringe worthy faux pas has been?

(37 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Sun 03-Feb-13 21:46:58

And make me feel better about mine in the process?

I had a friend over with her daughters on Friday night. We were drinking wine and watching films whilst the girls went to bed. I was a bit tiddled. I started talking about this girl who I envy as she has amazing hair whereas mine is shite. I said rather bitchily "Well her face isn't anything special...a bit like yours and mine but her hair is amazing!" Oh my goodness I wanted the ground to swallow me up! To which my very good natured friend replied "Oh so your saying I'm not pretty now!"
She is actually very pretty.
Things got worse in the morning when I was describing the horrid basin haircuts that my mum used to cut for me; with a fringe. Yes my friend has a fringe! Can you tell I have hair issues?! I sound so shallow but I am not obsessed with appearance any more than the next girl. I did sound like a bitch.
The most annoying thing about the fauz pas of course is that the more you try and explain yourself out of it, the deeper hole you dig! Please share with me yours. I am still cringing now.

superstarheartbreaker Sun 03-Feb-13 21:47:31


TheOriginalLadyFT Sun 03-Feb-13 21:52:39

Asked my then (slim but with small pot belly) hairdresser when the baby was due. She wasnt pregnant sigh

Was hideously embarrassing, and as you said I tried to dig my way out. Still blush when think of it

Allthenamesiwantaretaken Sun 03-Feb-13 21:56:22

Texting my boss (X) by accident (meant to go to my friend) complaning that 'as per usuall no fucking suprise, X isn't here again' as it went I realised, it was horrific. Managed to get out of it though.

jjuice Sun 03-Feb-13 22:01:28

Stood with mums from younger team from our club at sport tournament that I don't really know that well but am supporting as they are our club. Group of girls come over
Girl - well done Jessie.
Me - Do you really let them call you that? I hate being called that.
Girl's mum stood next to me - That's her name. She is Jessie not Jess not Jessica.
Me - um....

sweetkitty Sun 03-Feb-13 22:01:54

Sending a text moaning about my neighbours to my neighbour!! Had to go with wine and flowers and apologise

SirIronBottom Sun 03-Feb-13 22:06:13

Most recently? Saying 'Oh, we're NOT going to call our daughter anything massively prissy like Amelia or something', within earshot of a friend of mine whose daughter I then remembered was called Amelia. Luckily the friend didn't hear, or chose to ignore the remark.

For the record, I've mellowed towards the name Amelia, even though we're still not calling our daughter that.

Stopsittingonyoursister Sun 03-Feb-13 22:10:22

Walking around a nature reserve with DS, then around 3, newborn DD, Dh and DH's maiden aunt, pointing to a bug hotel type thing, and announcing loudly to DS "Ooh look DS, it's a buggery". I meant a wormery....

I just kept talking really loudly whilst DH couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes.

NatashaBee Sun 03-Feb-13 22:17:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImNotaPheasantPlucker Sun 03-Feb-13 22:17:17

Too many to mention. I usually end up digging and digging myself a bigger hole. It never works.

I can spend hours keeping myself awake at the daft things I've said.

And, yes, it includes bouncing up to a friend congratulating her to be told 'I'm not pregnant, I'm fat...'

Unlurked Sun 03-Feb-13 22:18:10

I accidentally mentioned in a very loud voice that my sister smokes. My very very anti-smoking mum was right next to me, unsurprisingly this was all news to her! My sister was not best pleased with me.

To make matters worse I did exactly the same thing to my little brother a few weeks later. My poor mum nearly fainted! In my defence I was quite drunk on both occasions.

superstarheartbreaker Sun 03-Feb-13 22:20:14

These are cheering me up big time! I do feel for my poor friend. I hope I havn't buggered up my friendship! I don't want her to feel that I'm one of of girls who is judging her look all the time.

Bearfrills Sun 03-Feb-13 22:22:50

We bumped into an old neighbour a few weeks ago, she used to live in the flat next door to DH and I in our early days. We had a semi-awkward how-are-you chat and 3yo DS was playing with a similarly aged little girl she had with her. Grinning, I commented "DS is really getting on well with your granddaughter!"

Stony silence.

"That's my daughter."

In my head there was this voice going 'fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck' while I inwardly cringed.

Worst part is that her new house in a few doors down from ours so I have to walk past every single day and wave and smile and say 'hello' and the whole time she will think of me as the cheeky cow who implied she was old enough to be a grandmother.

Kiwiinkits Sun 03-Feb-13 22:22:57

A guy was chatting me up in the pub once and we had been talking for a while. He asked me for my number but I wasn't that keen. Instead of just politely declining to give it to him, I gave him a fake number. He then proceeded to enter the number into the phone and call me. Of course my phone didn't ring... I was mortified.

2tired2bewitty Sun 03-Feb-13 22:23:46

"Worse things happen at sea", i said cheerily to my boss.

That'll be the boss with the girlfriend in the navy shock

GwendolineMaryLacey Sun 03-Feb-13 22:26:22

I made the mistake of mentioning my dd's lack of party invitation to the party mother. I know what I meant (mix up, someone else had said she was invited and didn't want to have ignored an invitation) and wasn't angling for an explanation at all but mouth opened before brain engaged. I have cringed ever since and have to make a special effort to be chatty and smiley to mother in question. She must think I'm barking blush

DontEvenThinkAboutIt Sun 03-Feb-13 22:28:56

I slammed the phone down on what I thought was a nuisance caller..... I later remembered my DH's boss had a stammer blush shock
He didn't call back but DH apologised to him when he next saw him. He said I had been recieving some funny calls.

BluelightsAndSirens Sun 03-Feb-13 22:29:38

In my first office job I answered the phone to someone who worked in the workshop calling to say he wasn't going to be in that day because there had been a bereavement.

My reply was "yeah right, I've heard some excuses in my time but the old dead relative chestnut is well old"

His mum had died in the night.

OeufsEnCocotte Sun 03-Feb-13 22:31:16

As a student I lucked out and got a job at the Council one summer, in the Land Charges office dealing with searches on properties for buyers. Lovely colleagues, including a larger lady. On about day 3, a grateful buyer sent a box of cakes into the office to say thanks to us for completing her search in super-quick time. As I was tucking in I said "ooh, I'll have to watch working here otherwise I'll get dead fa-----------"

It was the fact that I stopped in the middle of saying "fat" while looking directly at larger lady colleague that still makes me mortified to this day sad Oh callow youth sad

pixwix Sun 03-Feb-13 22:42:58

Oh God blush

Not long after ds1 was born, I was still above my normal weight, and joking about it to all and sundry - to stop em taking the piss.

I made a mate who was living in dr's quarters same as me - we went shopping, hung out together, and kept each other sane - through teletubbies at 10.20 and beyond...

One day we were in a department store, (heading up to the cake department) and got in the lift with buggies etc. The lift ground to a halt between floors...

"Will the woman with the blue fleece please get out - the lift can no longer carry you..." I intoned happily (I was wearing a blue fleece)

My mates eyebrows were raised and she had a fixed expression - I gazed around - there was another woman with a blue fleece in the lift!

Just to clarify things, cos I was mortified, I pinched my nose and intoned - "I repeat - will the woman with the blue fleece with green on it - please get out of the lift...." My mates eyebrows were in the back of her head by now - I glanced across - she has green sleeves on her fleece...

Trying desperately to rescue things I blurt out "LOOK the woman with the blue fleece, the green sleeves with a yellow band wearing jeans- can you not get out of the lift - we have people waiting!

My mate was on the floor, as I looked at this poor poor woman who was wearing an identical fleece to me, and was also wearing jeans... (and who was clawing desperately at the door by now)

The lift came to a shuddering halt at its final stop - that poor woman shot out like a bat out of hell, and myself and my friend? I was so so mortified - you couldn't make it up, and we cruised up and down the lift for about 10 minutes with me wailing and her howling...

I still cringe...

bessie26 Sun 03-Feb-13 22:49:17

I asked a lady at dd2's swimming lesson when the baby was due. She had had it 3 weeks earlier <mortified>

In my defence, I didn't think she was due for another few weeks, but she was (very politely & quite reasonably) pissed off with my rude question!

Helpyourself Sun 03-Feb-13 22:52:35

pix that's fantastic! You just kept digging!

Noodled Sun 03-Feb-13 22:56:14

oh pixwix i love it.

i used to dog walk in a local park and often had a chat with an older guy with an older dog. didnt see them for a while and presumed old dog had died, bumped into his wife and offered dog condolences. the dog had died but after his owner who i hadnt mentioned and the conversation didnt allow me to do so. i sympathised with the death of the dog but not the dh. wrong...

My friend said "Every cripple has his own way of walking" (i.e. everyone has their own way of doing things) to a man with one leg. Which he knew at the time but he said his mouth just kept going while his brain screamed "Stop!!!"

Midlifecrisisarefun Sun 03-Feb-13 23:02:25

I said to a colleague after seeing pics on facebook of 2 dc..' your grandchildren are gorgeous'
She replied ' they are my dc, I just look old'
It turned out she is the same age as me, I thought she was a good 10 yrs older!
< disclaimer my dc are grown-up and I have 1dgs myself>

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