Quick 'what would you do' answer needed to a neighbour noise problem.(62 Posts)
Saturday night I'm probably asking for trouble. I hope this isn't just another crap neighbour noise thing but need an instant answer as to what to do.
Victorian terraced house, been here 4 years. Had minor problems with noise from neighbours since day 1, spoke with them about it asked the DH in for a drink and he acknowledged noise travels easily and even said he'd had to speak with previous owner of our house as at the time (4+ years ago) when their kids were small and the lady had had some parties which had caused him some problems. Abated for a while but not long, when it started again and we asked again, (radio noise all day every day mainly) he got quite aggressive and DH backed down, we both just want a peaceful existence. At the time we did investigate with the council but made the decision not to pursue as we don't want to be here forever and don't want hassle of declaring the problem when selling (bad I know, sorry).
But tonight, for the third month running, it appears to be 'their turn' to have a dinner party with their friends. I would guess 10-12 adults (can see into their kitchen window!) - they have 3 kids and sounds like lots invited so guessing 15 kids too. It's really disruptive. Been going on since 7pm. My two (3yo and 18 months) have been woken several times. No sign of abating, sounds like some sort of games going on lots of shrieking, jumping and thumping, slamming doors, howling and shouting. I can't sleep through it. DH has decamped to DS's floor (tiny room so I can't join him, plus I insisted he went as he has to get up earlier tomorrow).
Last time and the time before they had these gatherings it was 3am before it stopped.
Do I call the police? Is that trivial? "Sorry but these numpties are stopping me sleeping with their partying"..... Sounds so crap. Sure they've got better things to deal with on a Saturday night? But it's really annoying and more worryingly I don't want it to keep happening on a monthly basis. Don't suggest speaking to them again; they are not very reasonable people.
On a monthly basis?
Sorry but YABU
They're enjoying friends in their own home...not holding an all weekend rave.
It's the nature of terraced houses I'm afraid.
If it was me I'd be tempted to go round with the baby in my arms and read them the riot act about them disturbing the kids however as alcohol is no doubt involved it's not the most sensible idea.
I think you'll just have to ride it out tonight and then
early tomorrow knock on their door and tell them that it's really not acceptable and could they please keep the volume own at future parties. DON'T be intimidated by them.
Let this be their last warning, then report them next time.
No don't call the police it will make matters worse!Sorry op but looks like you need to move to a detatched house ASAP.
You poor thing.
I really feel for you. Is there music at all?
For this - I would persoanlly advising on moving really quikcly and never going with terrace again.
I sympahtise its horrid and it invades every aspect of your life.
Our problems with ours were daily - and not with a family but with all sorts moving in and out....it got quite bad.
I think however after 12 if its a breach of the peace etc the police can come round...i wonder if neighbours on other side can hear it.
also you said he could hear radio from previous people?
sometimes people forgeot what its like to be disturbed, if they are going to be up till 3am -without being petty - what about a little loud music from your side - starting quite early? something with a good deep base?
i know this sounds petty - but honeslty - people do forget, if they had the termerity to knock on your door to complain
" I am sooo sorry, its just we had a really late night last night and needed something really livley to wake us up this morning. "
" I am sooo sorry, its just we had a really late night last night and needed something really livley to wake us up this morning. "
I love that idea.
I'm sorry, I know it is horrid when you are being kept awake but if it is only once a month it is hardly constant.
You may well find, as your children get older, that you would like to have a social life too. Imagine how you would feel if your neighbours complained every time you had friends round.
I'm afraid YABU. Think you need to save up for a detached house
And thinking about it OP...
With kids your age, your neighbours nights would probably have been disturbed more than once a month.
And if they haven't been, they probably will be when your kids are teenagers.
I think as it's only once a month, you've definitely got the better deal.
I understand it's annoying though.
The problem is in part retribution. The first time we were friendly and asked to discuss it all seemed okay, and he acknowledged the houses were terrible for noise, but almost straight away they started doing some weird (childish, not worth going in to!) parking stuff. The second time we asked we got woken up at 6am from that day on with a stupidly loud clock radio against our wall. I can't be doing with stupid games like that and hence going round tomorrow (or tonight) really probably wouldn't do much good or have any effect. If I hoovered at 6am tomorrow or something churlish like that, I'd probably just get louder radio and louder partying next time.
I can't deal with the immature nature of it all. Maybe we just give too much from our side, I don't know, I'm always turning the tv down and telling the kids to calm it down. Maybe I shouldn't bother but I'm always fearful of what we will get back in return. I 'dared' to hang a picture on the joined wall once when they were home (i normally have to wait until they are out) and it was acknowledged by several hours of thumping music.
Absolutely no doubt about a detached house. Just can't move for another 2 years, finances will not allow it!!!
So why don't you once a month the day after these gatherings get up at 6am mow your lawn/ Hoover whilst singing a really crap song over and over loudly.
May take a few try's but should sort it.
Its not a police matter, its noise control within your council. Google or call town hall for the number. They have an out of hours service, and generally come out and talk to you. They listen to the noise within your property and then go and knock on the persons door and leave them with a notice about noise.
Noise disruption doesn't have to be after 11pm. It can occur at any time of the day or night. It is more about the noise being a constant disruption to others.
I have had lots of dealing with noise pollution (had some vile neighbours) and would love to have had a monthly disturbance.
One of the things that gets tricky is what is not acceptable to them, is acceptable to you. In the case of putting pictures, drilling/banging is fine to you, but to others it can be a nuisance.
I don't think the noise team would come out for a once a month dinner party to be honest...well not this council anyway.
There are people here whose neighbours make every day and night a living nightmare with loud music and anti social behaviour...and yet it can take ages for the noise team to start monitoring.
Yes worra and timid, I'm sure our kids DO make noise, but they have four as opposed to our two and their youngest is only 4 so they have gone through sleepless nights and so on not much different to ours in age. We 'experienced' their youngest and her sleepless nights (when I was pregnant with our eldest!) and would never, ever complain or feel put up out by that; you can't help that noise but this is deliberate!
And we do have a social life, we do have people over, have dinners (not Billy no mates, honest!) but we don't slam doors, thump about playing what sounds like a game of tag or revved up chasing, scream and shriek, play loud music or have 15 kids running up and down the stairs at midnight (yes, it's still going on, they have more stamina than me!). Maybe I'm not describing the noise well enough; it's not subtle. It's not 'switch the tele on and you'd drown it out' noise - it's much, much louder. Yes there is music and in another room, next to my daughters room against her wall there is a piano being thrashed by several of the children. Neighbours the other side are in Spain for the winter unfortunately.
Couldn't you just knock and ask them to lower the volume?
2nd the council resources. The police may not be interested right now or at all. But it's unreasonable stuff and it's the reponsibility of the council to deal with this.
Ihearsounds - yes, I know about much worse things. My oldest friend has had to go to court with a horrendous noise problem so I do appreciate this is not in the same league. I hope you are sorted now.
i think it is reasonable for people to have a party once a month. If you dont like it you should live in a farm.
The extra cars would be more of an annoyance to me (if there were 10-12 adults + same number DC as guests).
Have they blocked your drive at all?
If you had to go out as an emergency would you be able to?
I wouldn't be able to mow my lawn tomorrow (lawn practically underwater) but I could get the strimmer out.
And YY to some intensive Hoovering.
I had problem neighbours similar to yours.
They complained about our noise first. The noise of us walking in our home outwith their waking hours.
They were a family similar to us but their complaint was that we still walked around for half an hour to an hour after they had gone to bed and got up half an hour before them. So 11.30-12 to their 11 and 7am to their 7.30. But actually they needed 8.5 hours sleep. At the time our youngest was a few months old so we were also up during the night with her.
We took notice of their first complaint and tiptoed about for a few months. They complained again that yes it was better than before but still not good enough. DH told them that fair enough but they couldn't dictate to us our bedtimes.
They responded by starting parking wars. For example moving cars 3 feet to stop us being able to park out front. Then they started throwing objects against the party wall at 12pm and 6.30am and random times during the night.... it escalated and escalated, to the point where the bloke would drive at me in the street if I was getting in the car swerving at the last minute, then they sold their house. The day they moved out the husband shouted abuse in the street to me with much swearing. Others witnessed it and as a result he's being charged by the police.
My advice is to write everything down in a diary and complain to your CPO and Environmental Dept. If they're going to go psycho it is good to have a record of everything.
The police have said to me that I should have reported each event as it happened. Even though there were no witnesses, mostly, I should have still had everything recorded with them. Ex neighbour will end up with a small fine and a record, but had I reported everything as it had gone on he would have had harrassment charges etc.
Don't let your neighbours spoil your happiness.
I think you have to decide if you want to make a formal complaint and involve the council thus having to declare it when you move or try to find another way around it.
I had noisy neighbours for a long time, they not only annoyed me but the house on the other side. I put off doing anything because I thought it might affect me if I wanted to sell up but in the end realised that anyone visiting the house for viewing would likely hear it. I kept noise diaries and sent them to the housing association who manage the house. They used to retaliate with counter claims to the council/housing association about us which were totally inaccurate and abuse of other neighbours who complained.
I make a point now of speaking to both sides and always telling them to let me know if they ever have a problem with noise from us, this makes it clear to them that we are aware of the problem of terraced houses. One set of neighbours does have parties every now and again but they don't seem to go on for ever. If it's someone's birthday then it's not going to be happening all the time.
Try moving furniture around so that you have solid things like wardrobes next to the noisy neighbours and no beds next to the adjoining wall. My DS gets the room adjoining the house where the noisy neighbours used to be as he was not disturbed by it. If you think it might work, ask them about moving speakers/radio/tv etc away from your wall.
I want to scream. It finally stopped at 2am. The crescendo was the glass recycling (one bottle at a time a cheer when it was done). Now at 6am it's started up again, kids smashing the piano to shreds, DH is threatening to go round. I've made him promise to walk away if anything nasty is said, for a start they'd love that, and the only thing I can hope is that they are embarrassed in front of the people they obviously have staying there.
Yes, there are cars. Yes she blocks me in and does ridiculous things with parking. Bumbiscuit it sounds remarkably similar, frankly I think the woman is unhinged and her fella just goes along with it (he worships the ground she walks on). Woe betide anytime parks in front of her house on a public road, she has a meltdown and we get music for hours, even if the car is nothing whatsoever to do with us (I.e. someone visiting someone else's house!). I'm so concerned by her that I don't dare let my car overhang her frontage by 1 inch and jump out and intercept anyone coming to ours who might park there, even the tesco delivery! It's a public road, anyone can park there, anyone can park in front of ours, we just have to deal with it, but she has an absolute trauma.
Ugh, you poor thing! I have no advice, sorry, I just wanted to express sympathy, it sounds miserable
Invite your local Hells Angels chapter round for a BBQ!
Seriusly - 2am then again at 6am?
I would have been knocking.
Everyone has the right to enjoy their own property (within reason) but so do you.
If you perceive they are childish over these things, like blocking in and alarm clocks against walls then you aren't on the best terms with them anyway.
If you go to the police or council you have to declare is should you want to move
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.