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To think that a 20yo shouldn't be 'seeing' someone in his 30s

(153 Posts)
minimarshmallow81 Sat 02-Feb-13 00:45:47

My younger sister had lunch with me today (read, she met me on my lunch break and I paid for a meal- probably the first portion of veg she's had in weeks given she's a student) and she casually informed me she's been on a few dates with somebody. She doesn't talk to me (or any of our family) about her love life so I was very excited to be having a personal conversation with her. All was going well until I asked her if he was on her course. She then (again, very casually) informed me that he wasn't and he was in fact in his early 30s.

I get that she's an adult and I get that she can see whoever she wants but I can't help but think that it sounds rather sleazy for a man in his 30s to be interested in a girl who's only a second year student. How can they have anything in common? And how can they have an equal relationship if she's a skint student and he's a fairly well-of businessman.

She treated the age as just something a little awkward and says she can't relate to 'boys'. I think she's a bit star-struck by the lifestyle he's showing her. Should I say something to her? I can't see this ending well...

ots Mon 04-Feb-13 00:49:59

What?! It's not as if she's 15!! I met DH when I was 18, he was 33. We have been together 7 years and have so much in common. I find a lot of my friends partners, who are my age, seem so immature. Don't judge him on his age, and be supportive of your sister!

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Mon 04-Feb-13 01:08:07

A typical 20 year old student doesn't have that much in common with someone in their 30s unless the older person has a serious case on arrested development though. I have a 20 year old student sister and any 30 year old who wanted to live like her would be seriously immature. I'd wonder why some old loser wanted to hang out in her hovel with her earnest student friends.

Now if we're not talking about an average student, but one somewhat staid and boring older than their years, fine.

Hobbitation Mon 04-Feb-13 12:34:38

My boyfriend of the time had come back to University to study the same subject as me so he could change his career. We had a fair bit in common with music, films, TV likes and dislikes as well, and a fair few things we didn't share a liking for! Mainly looking back it was mainly a sexual attraction, but so what? We didn't get married as we saw it for what it was, in the end.

I wonder how people can be compatible with others from a different culture, when you have almost no similar cultural references, and I've never been out with anyone who isn't English, let alone British. But that's up to them, people obviously DO have successful relationships in this context, who am I to judge?

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