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Teenage ds (18) "I might bring a girl home tonight"

(160 Posts)
marriedinwhite Fri 01-Feb-13 20:28:37

DS just 18 - not had a serious girlfriend - didn't know he had one now. Just dropped him and in the car (I know, I know - he's 18 and has his own car but he's partying and he was late) he announced "I might bring a girl home tonight" I said really and where will she sleep and he said in his room. I said "I didn't know you had a girlfriend" and he said they had a bit of a thing going and I know he's had sex so what's the issue.

He took me by surprise and I said no because we don't know her, we don't know anything about her and it needs to be properly discussed with dad as well as with me. He was a bit meh said thank God he would be at uni soon but took it quite well and said thank you for the lift. I did say that if she came back with him that was fine but it was on the understanding that she slept in the guest room and he slept in his bedroom and didn't visit the guest room.

Oh bugger. What to do? He has a 14 year old sister and not sure I'm ready for this out of the blue. Fraaaaaaank are you there?

marriedinwhite Sat 02-Feb-13 14:59:38

Just texted him to say when we know who she is and have met her dad says it's fine providing you don't make a noise. Proper gf fine; one night stand not fine. And you must wear a condom smile. Suspect it's been going on since New Year's eve - keen to go home and find out who it is.

13Iggis Sat 02-Feb-13 17:00:04

In our early thirties, I regularly slept at my future-in-laws house with my future-dh. In separate rooms. I don't think I will go that far with my own dcs!

PureQuintessence Sat 02-Feb-13 18:56:44

FastidiaBlueberry, you might be interested to hear that my Tudor Jelly was a big flop, and did not turn out as expected - though I think it might have been to King Henrys liking!

I decided to add jelly into large muffin cases, and put a marshmallow on each to add interest.

When I took them out of the cupcake tray (which I put them in for the jelly to keep it shape) they fell flat.

I had 8 pairs of posh titty with marshmallow nipple shaking on my dinner table. confused

Pmsl grin

Marriedinwhite, good luck with the conversation, I hope you get to meet her soon. (sorry for this titillating high-jack)

Flatbread Sat 02-Feb-13 20:12:36

I sometimes wonder why today's kids will want to leave home at all.

For our generation, we longed for our freedom to be able to have our own place to have sex, wear whist we wanted and eat what/when we wanted and stay out as late as we wanted, And studying hard to get a good job, abd then working and the responsibilities that came with that was the natural and willing price for freedom.

Now that kids have all the freedom under their parents roof, what is the incentive to move out and work hard in the real world?

No wonder so many are coming back home to mum and dad!

marriedinwhite Sat 02-Feb-13 20:25:14

All I can say, is thank you Mnet. He likes her but she's not a steady g/f and dd piped up "ooh a friend with benefits"!!!!!!! Evidently he doesn't want a proper g/f when he's off to uni in the autumn and he doesn't want anything heavy because of looming exams.

The girl turns out to be someone I burped at a dinner party when I was 7 months pg with him. She is the daughter of one of DH's clients, although not a couple we have kept up with socially. Her little sister is at school with dd. I have had to say very little; DH has said no way jose. No pooping on your own doorstep with the dd of one of my clients unless you bloody well care about the gir.

Sorted that one out then hmm.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 02-Feb-13 20:40:52

Good decision to refuse then! Hopefully even at 18 he can see the sense in that?

marriedinwhite Sat 02-Feb-13 20:44:32

Bloody minefield this parenting lark. Looks adoringly at dd, the less challenging one so far

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 02-Feb-13 20:49:58

Give her a chance... wink

ajandjjmum Sat 02-Feb-13 21:09:45

Ds is nearly 21 and has been seeing his gf for nearly three years. She started off in the spare room, and is now in his room, but sadly our eyesight is such that we fail to notice. grin I did have to wake them up yesterday morning though - felt very odd knocking on DS's door!!!

PomBearWithAnOFRS Sat 02-Feb-13 21:15:39

I had that conversation with my pfb once - his first serious girlfriend was allowed to stay over, but they had been together for a year, and we knew her parents, and knew they knew where she was.
After they split up and I was almost as upset as he was because she was lovely and he was an arse sighhhh he wanted "some random girl" to stay the night and I said no, and then had to explain why which wasn't fun, but hopefully got through to him that sleeping with someone you love and respect and have a meaningful relationship with is an entirely different thing to "just a shag" with someone you hardly know confused
I think it worked, as the next girl he went out with is now his fiancee, they live together, have been together almost 4 years, and are planning their wedding grin and she lived here for six months before they moved into their own wee house

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