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AIBU to think that my dd should be able to walk alone without being followed/hassled?

(38 Posts)
singingsoprano Fri 01-Feb-13 16:39:42

Dd is in 6th form, is beautiful and petite, usually wears jeans/leggings but seems to be constantly whistled at/bothered/harrassed. Have reported today's latest incident to local police, as she was being followed by a 'man in a white van.'
Apparently, he kept pulling in beside her, then when she sped up, drove slightly behind her, pulled in again. This went on for about 6 minutes and she was quite scared.
Luckily, another woman noticed the van following her, crossed the road and walked with her until the van drove off.
We are now waiting for the police to contact us for a statement and dd has said that this time she felt really scared. She said she is fed up with the attention and just wants to walk in pease. It's not too much to ask, surely?

FlouncingMintyy Fri 01-Feb-13 18:02:40

Well OBVIOUSLY not unreasonable. So why are you asking if you are?

PomBearWithAnOFRS Fri 01-Feb-13 18:58:21

If it happens again, tell her to get her phone out and obviously take a picture of the number plate, then hold the phone up and press 999 very clearly, and speak to the police.
She must have been really shaken poor thing sad I hope she's ok and it doesn't put her off going places in future.

Purple2012 Fri 01-Feb-13 19:02:09

She needs to ring 999 at the time. The police will take it seriously but it's harder for them to do something if you wait until shes home to ring.

quoteunquote Fri 01-Feb-13 19:33:19

I don't like to scare you,

get her to change her routine, is she walking the same route, same time, same routine on a weekly basis,

some of these men, start to stalk, having spotted a girl that interests them, ask her to think if she has seen the van before,

it just we have had more than a few of these incidences over the last few years, one of our village (15) girls, was nearly snatched after leaving an after school activity, she really did fight back, and luckily a father of another girl drove past, and saw the man trying to drag her into the van, guy drove off as he intervened, on quite a few of these the man had been watching for a while,

she must stick to inside of the pavement, if she feels any unwanted attention, go into the nearest shop, or business, explain the problem, wait in the business, until parent or police arrive, also go up to the front door of a house ring bell, ask home owner to phone police

carry taxi money,if you get a cab, let someone know the cab number, keep phone charged, take photos of suspicious vehicles,

choose safe routes, tell someone where you are, tell someone where you will be, check in,

Walk with friends, no head phones.

be careful with her details on line,

Understand that being over cautious with her personal safety is not silly, it essential.

singingsoprano Fri 01-Feb-13 20:10:14

Thank you for all your advice. I was in a meeting at the time, so dd was unable to contact me straight away. Dd now knows that next time she needs to ring 999 and take a photo of the license plate. She is normally quite street aware, but i think because it was lunchtime on a main residential road, it was unexpected, IYSWIM?
We are going to investigate self-defence lessons, and she never walks alone after dark;she is always with friends. She always has money for a taxi, but it was midday in a residential area.
Dd was dressed in normal clothes, minding her own business and can't help the way she looks. She also looks younger than 16, nearly seventeen, as she is petite.
I feel for her, because she does nothing to attract unwanted attention/harassment, so it is NOT nor should it be, her problem. angry

singingsoprano Fri 01-Feb-13 20:33:26

Just an update. Two police officers have just left after taking a statement and they are taking it seriously, as a girl from the same school was involved in a similar incident yesterday. They are going to inform the school and get the PCSO's in to talk to the students in the next week.
They also re-inforced that next time dd should just ring 999.
Thank you all.

Annunziata Fri 01-Feb-13 20:37:52

Oh how scary for you OP, I hope she isn't too shaken. What a world.

Footface Fri 01-Feb-13 20:44:57

Your poor dd, this sought of thing makes me so angry. I had people drive along side me and trying to get my attention when I was at school, It's awful makes you feel very vulnerable.

One man followed me up my path, and told me he thought I was beautiful. I was 15 ffs he must have been 35.

Like you dd it never would have crossed my mind to call the police.

I used to tell them to fuck of home to theirs wives. Not the best suggestion but I was young, and it made me feel less vulnerable.

I was flashed at once in the high street and it really posses me off so I followed him with my friend shouting flasher for quite a long time. ( again not the best course of action but I felt unpowered)

HandlebarTash Fri 01-Feb-13 20:54:49

Obviously YANBU. She should be able to go wherever she likes, whenever she likes.

Having experienced similar myself as a teenager, she could start walking facing on coming traffic, walk well populated routes, walk with friends as often as she can, vary her route especially if she is walking the same one regularly at the same time of day, and not walk with headphones in.

am angry that anyone has to do these things though.

andubelievedthat Fri 01-Feb-13 20:58:15

you MUST be very ! firm with your daughter re this , particularly as it seems to be a reg. occurence,i am biased, my own daughter was sexually assaulted by a neighbour when she was fifteen,as she was out running .my fella had told her not to speak to this fella, but she was too polite ,friendly,could see no bad in anyone,no matter the police follow up , it never compensates for the damage to everyone . please impress upon your daughter the importance of her own consious safety >and NEVER to STOP walking when focused on by creeps.or anyone whom she does not know well and trust.

quoteunquote Fri 01-Feb-13 22:50:00

am that anyone has to do these things though

Yep, it totally pathetic that the world is not yet a safe place, we can't be that intelligent as something so obviously beneficial to everyone has yet be achieved,

she needs to learn to use her voice, and shout very loudly for anyone to get away from her.

Pendeen Sat 02-Feb-13 00:06:13

YANBU, of course you aren't.

Much sympathy for DD.

sashh Sat 02-Feb-13 07:00:30

Re white van man

she should shout as loud as she can "I'm 15 you pervert, how many children have you had sex with?"
whilst phoning 999.

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