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AIBU to wonder where the man I married had gone?

(31 Posts)
Reaa Fri 01-Feb-13 13:31:12

When I married him 12yrs ago, he was kind, caring and loving. He has now been replaced by a moaning, lazy (in the house) moody bastard who only manages to speak to me when saying things like "give me a blow job" "go sort the kids out" "why have you not done this or this" or his latest one when I ask if he can give me a hand with something "I'm tired".
I'm tired too ffs we have 6 kids to look after, a house to organise, kids have after school clubs to be dropped off and picked up from and I work from home but have not had anytime for work this week as housework as taken so long.
AIBU just want him to at least make sure kids stay in bed while I treat myself to a nice hot bath?

lovetomoan Fri 01-Feb-13 17:09:58

Give me a blowjob? WTF!. YANBU and he needs to respect you. Stop making his life easier and only take care of your DC and yourself only. He seems to be selfish.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 01-Feb-13 17:42:08

Well, could you start by telling a trusted friend or family member how things are. It really helped when my first marriage was rotten. To tell someone.

Pandemoniaa Fri 01-Feb-13 17:44:27

I wouldn't ask him for a trial separation. I'd make it permanent from the outset.

Reaa Fri 01-Feb-13 18:18:54

I was going to say how would I manage but I realised the answer I will just have too. I am worried about what will happen if he does not go but will deal with that when i have too.

Flobbadobs Fri 01-Feb-13 18:32:41

You can manage my love because you do everything anyway and you will have one less child to deal with!
I suggest you nip over to the relationship boards and have a read. There should be at least one thread from a woman who has escaped one way or another. They're blunt and honest about how hard it can be at first and then how the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter and brighter over time.
Oh and get it all out here then reread at a later date as and when you need to feel strong x

ImperialBlether Fri 01-Feb-13 18:44:22

Your life will be much easier without him in it. I know it would seem like it would be harder, but how could it be? He is just in the way, neither use nor ornament.

How old are the children? If they are old enough to babysit, have you thought of upping their pocket money and giving it to them only if they help clean and tidy. It was always a quick way of getting a tidy house here!

Go onto the Entitled To website and see what your financial situation would be like if he wasn't there.

You deserve so much more than this.

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