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AIBU to be a bit hmmm at my friend's attitude to local children?

(28 Posts)
Twiceover Fri 01-Feb-13 13:30:20

Friend came over yesterday with her DD who is 3. She was telling me about an incident at playgroup where a "chavvy boy" had hit her DD. Obviously not very nice to be hit at playgroup but then she told me that she'd had a long chat with her DD and warned her only to talk to "nice" children. Apparently the group is mostly nice but there are some undesirables creeping in?! She also said at least she won't have to mix with children like this at school as she is sending her private.

Each to their own and all that but I was a bit taken aback by her attitude. Such a relief that her pfb won't have to associate with hoi polloi, the horror shock

limitedperiodonly Thu 07-Feb-13 13:11:08

Stupid snob. Does she realise that her attitude makes her the undesirable one?

I once went on holiday with my best friend and the whole family spent the week taking the piss out of my common accent. What nice people, eh?

BTW I had my own money and my parents had given me some to spend on her as a thank you for taking me away. Plus they'd paid my share - in a holiday camp in Berwick on Tweed. Nothing against Berwick but it's hardly the most upmarket holiday spot on earth.

My friend also told me much later that her parents had asked a teacher to separate us because I was bad influence. Looking back, I realise the teacher didn't do anything so presumably he thought they were nasty too.

I stopped being friends with her after that. Well, I couldn't take the risk of mixing with someone who was so badly brought up, could I? wink

ps I told my mum years later. She was more hurt than me and wanted to hunt these appalling people down.

merrymouse Thu 07-Feb-13 12:03:31

Doesn't she realise that its not 'nice' to call somebody a chav?

maninawomansworld Thu 07-Feb-13 11:59:41

Hmm... don't be so quick to condem her.
Some kids ARE horrid little 'chavs' (for want of a better word. No fault of their own mind, it's the parents fault but they are still ill disciplined little horrors as we all know kids learn off their peers so is she so wrong to want to keep her child away from them?
Don't get me wrong some 'posh' kids can be equally as horrible and I'd keep mine away from them too. Forget the distinctions of class or wathever, there are just some kids that you really don't want yours mixing with.

Twiceover Sat 02-Feb-13 10:51:25

She is generally a lovely person which is why I was so surprised. Her DD is about to start at a pre-prep nursery this month so it will be interesting to see if the other children there live up to her standards.

Lol at the idea of "nice" children at playgroup wearing badges! But it just struck me as such an odd thing to say to a child.

ilovesooty Fri 01-Feb-13 22:27:54

And you describe her as a friend?

MsAkimbo Fri 01-Feb-13 21:59:16

Yanbu. I used to work in childcare and my mother used to get very anxious when I would work in certain neighbourhoods. Consequently, the most gracious children I worked with were the ones considered the most "troubled."

Not the standard everywhere I know, but children are little people, and some people are dicks. Backgrounds are irrelevant.

FanFuckingTastic Fri 01-Feb-13 20:22:09

I have encouraged my DS away from another child before, but in the main it was because he was becoming a bad influence and my son was suffering for it. He still lists him as a friend but doesn't ask him to come round any more, which I am glad about. I know it sounds stupid, especially as I have a child with special needs myself, however there's only so much tolerance I could have and this boy (and his mother) pushed me past that.

Other than that, I don't care who my children play with. I encourage them to be kind and play with everyone, even if some children don't seem to be played with very often, because maybe they are lonely and need a good friend like him.

countrykitten Fri 01-Feb-13 20:19:26

Teachers definitely do associate certain behaviours with certain names tbh - it is something I have come across a great deal. The general view would be that an Emily would be much nicer to teach than a Kaylee or a Henry would be nicer than a Darren - not always the case I am sure but it is often joked about in staff rooms. Not one of the things that the profession should be most proud of....

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Fri 01-Feb-13 20:11:49

I'm surprised that if she feels this strongly her dd isn't already I'm a pre-prep nursery.

Kione Fri 01-Feb-13 19:49:05

sorry the spelling, touch phone angry

Kione Fri 01-Feb-13 19:47:55

I babysat two kids in a posh familt, the father was a big important dermatologyst (sorry if I didnt spell that right) goinf everywhere to talk in conferences and such, and the mother paid me so she could go to the tennis club twice a week. DD, 7 was ok although obe thay she askwd me if I knew the where rich... DS at 11 spat at me, threw his rucksac at me at rhe school gate and told me I was paid to carry it. Their parents never told them off. I lasted two weeks and I onky did two days a week! I kniw mych better behaved "chav"s!!

lazybastard Fri 01-Feb-13 19:26:48

Ah so all children of rich people are angels? Guess my DC are brats then.

Levantine Fri 01-Feb-13 18:26:17

She sounds like a fucking horrible snob.

motherinferior Fri 01-Feb-13 18:05:44

Look on the bright side. All the lovely normal kids will be spared her child.

PatButchersEarring Fri 01-Feb-13 18:04:52

Confession: I used to think along those lines...except I'd probably have at least attempted to phrase it in a slightly more diplomatic way.

..that was until I realised that bad parenting and bad behaviour in children crosses the class divide. The most trouble I and my DD (3) have had with another child's behaviour emanated from the wealthiest, poshest family I know.

Ironically, this family moved away from a 'chav' area to avoid badly behaved children/bad parenting...and yet, this is the family that everyone else now avoids for exactly that reason.

AmberSocks Fri 01-Feb-13 17:52:15

she doesnt sound very nice.

Chandon Fri 01-Feb-13 17:50:29

I have a friend who talks like this.

She says you can tell by name if they re "nice", aparently Jasper, Oscar, Mathilda, Jemima and Charlotte are the ones to mix with. Whereas Kayleigh, Kyle, Tyler and Tyrone are best avoided. She says it was wonderful that the children self-segregate at school.

I just laughed at her. She is training to be a teacher too! it will be funny to see how that will go. People like this DO exist.

singingsoprano Fri 01-Feb-13 17:18:27

YANBU! Silly woman.

ratspeaker Fri 01-Feb-13 17:17:52

Are right, so they don't have kids that hit at private school?

I suppose it will be better class of bullying hmm

tittytittyhanghang Fri 01-Feb-13 15:52:22

YANBU. Wonders how she would react to my ds (2) who looks all lovely and nice, but is really riff raff grin

germyrabbit Fri 01-Feb-13 15:48:41

she sounds undesirable herself

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Fri 01-Feb-13 15:40:52

What a stupid bitch. There are obnoxious children is all walks of life hmm

WorraLiberty Fri 01-Feb-13 15:34:43

You told her she's being a snobbish twat, I take it?

Sugarice Fri 01-Feb-13 15:33:39

How does she tell who are nice and who aren't hmm

Snotty mare!

cantspel Fri 01-Feb-13 15:30:14

Do nice children wear a special badge to identify them?

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