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To think partner is starting to take advantage a bit?

(66 Posts)
QueenNothing Fri 01-Feb-13 12:38:49

My partner is hoping to buy a house within the next 6 months. In the meantime, I agreed he could unofficially live with me providing me helps me out with groceries etc. He agreed.

He's been here since new year and has so far not contributed anything. He buys the odd carton of milk or loaf of bread but that's it. On top of this, he asked me to buy better tea-bags and moans that I need a deep fat fryer as my oven chips are tasteless. The other day he offered to make me a casserole - but text me to ask me to buy some sirloin steak for it whilst I was out!

This morning he told me he was going to shop as he wanted some lemonade and orange juice. I asked what else he was buying and he said that was all 'he' needed. So I took the opportunity to ask him to buy me coffee and bread. At this point he asked "why don't you come with me?" in other words - come and pay for the stuff you want. I said I didn't have time so he went and bought me the cheapest coffee going - considering he insists on the most expensive tea-bags I felt this was taking the piss somewhat!?

He used to take me out every week and since he moved in here, we've not even been out.

He keeps going on about me moving in with him when he buys this new house but I'm wondering if he's just trying to keep me sweet with the promise of a new house if I keep him for the next 6 months. What's more annoying is that he keeps boasting of having £20k in the bank whilst I'm getting by on £18k a year.

I know I'm not BU actually!

expatinscotland Fri 01-Feb-13 15:17:16

If you tell him he needs to contribute, he will not or he'd have done it by now. He'll have excuses, justifications, 'This is for us, for our future, for when I buy a house,' and on and on.

He knows he is taking the piss. It's not a mistake.

You are enabling this.

'You're a freeloading cocklodger. I've had enough of it. Get your stuff, right now, and get out.'

£20K. He can afford a cheap hotel till he gets another place, it's not your problem if he has no place to go, it's his because he's a pisstaker.

If you can't do this alone, then invite a couple of friends over. Then tell him, 'You're a freeloading cocklodger. I've had enough of it. Get your stuff, right now, and get out.

expatinscotland Fri 01-Feb-13 15:19:39

In the future, at the first sign of meanness/cheapskate behaviour (because IME, cheapskates are never the ones who are poorest), end contact immediately.

Jux Fri 01-Feb-13 15:29:00

Pack his bags and tell him the only woman whom he could expect to behave like that is his mum, and then only until he was 18.

Really, kick him out. You don't even need to give him notice. And don't worry about the relationship; there actually isn't one any more.

You've had a lucky break, as you know what he'd be like if you were to make your relationship more permanent. Be very careful about contraception if you can bear to let him touch you any more. The last thingmyou want is to have a child by this brat.

GetOrf Fri 01-Feb-13 15:34:20

What expat said, every word.

Fuck that! Cheeky bastard. He is relying on your good and kind nature not to say anything.

HOW DARE HE have 20 grand in the bank and expect you to pay for everything when you earn less than that in a year?

He is a disgrace. I bet he fucking well monopolises your telly as well. And doesn't clean the bath out. And leaves teaspoons on the side <on a roll>

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 01-Feb-13 16:18:52

^ Toilet seat up, puts empty packets back in the fridge......

katiecubs Fri 01-Feb-13 16:22:50

You are BU to put up with him. Seriously why are you even with someone like this?

skullcandy Fri 01-Feb-13 16:49:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

digerd Fri 01-Feb-13 17:00:55

The only relationship you have is that you are the one giving and he just takes, and treats you like dirt. He's totally selfish and nasty. No way is he boyfriend/partner material. Dump him.

Mollydoggerson Fri 01-Feb-13 17:05:29


shewhowines Fri 01-Feb-13 17:13:23

He's on a very nice number.

He will be too, when he buys a house and he makes you pay half of everything especially when you end up with nothing when he kicks you out finds a better cash cow

It's worth a talk but it's probably pointless if he can act as he has done with no guilt

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker Fri 01-Feb-13 17:15:56

I wouldn't do the paying for groceries every other week because you know he will buy cheap crappy stuff unless he wants it.

I'd give him one chance. One. I'd be very blunt.

"you need to FULLY pay your way or leave. This is not what we agreed."

Pandemoniaa Fri 01-Feb-13 17:21:48

He's taking the piss on epic levels. I'm hoping that when he's ready to buy this house on the back of all the money you are saving him, that he doesn't sod off and leave you behind. But I rather suspect he will.

Lose him. You deserve better.

expatinscotland Fri 01-Feb-13 17:43:06

He's had a month of chances. He's become even worse, moaning about teabags and tasteless chips, never putting his hand in his pocket.

No more chances.


pluCaChange Fri 01-Feb-13 18:15:23

DS (4.10) has just asked, "Mummy, how old is he? I think he's about six."

roffle. I have a lovely boy.

riveroise Sat 02-Feb-13 01:53:37

So he's been there a month. If he's bought a few loaves of bread, a few cartons of milk and some value coffee, lets say he's spent about £15.

That's 50p a day! shock

Taking the piss or what!

Time for him to move back to mummy.

Inertia Sat 02-Feb-13 09:20:19

So where does he officially live then ?

And are you receiving any council tax discount or tax credit on the basis that you live on your own ? If so, this man is going to end up costing you a lot more than some teabags. He needs to either pay his way as half a couple, or go.

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