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To think partner is starting to take advantage a bit?

(66 Posts)
QueenNothing Fri 01-Feb-13 12:38:49

My partner is hoping to buy a house within the next 6 months. In the meantime, I agreed he could unofficially live with me providing me helps me out with groceries etc. He agreed.

He's been here since new year and has so far not contributed anything. He buys the odd carton of milk or loaf of bread but that's it. On top of this, he asked me to buy better tea-bags and moans that I need a deep fat fryer as my oven chips are tasteless. The other day he offered to make me a casserole - but text me to ask me to buy some sirloin steak for it whilst I was out!

This morning he told me he was going to shop as he wanted some lemonade and orange juice. I asked what else he was buying and he said that was all 'he' needed. So I took the opportunity to ask him to buy me coffee and bread. At this point he asked "why don't you come with me?" in other words - come and pay for the stuff you want. I said I didn't have time so he went and bought me the cheapest coffee going - considering he insists on the most expensive tea-bags I felt this was taking the piss somewhat!?

He used to take me out every week and since he moved in here, we've not even been out.

He keeps going on about me moving in with him when he buys this new house but I'm wondering if he's just trying to keep me sweet with the promise of a new house if I keep him for the next 6 months. What's more annoying is that he keeps boasting of having £20k in the bank whilst I'm getting by on £18k a year.

I know I'm not BU actually!

emsyj Fri 01-Feb-13 12:40:52

So why is he still living with you? He is saving up and using you to help him do it, you know that, so why is he still there?? confused

WorraLiberty Fri 01-Feb-13 12:43:23

How long have you known him?

He is taking the piss big time. Get him to put his hand in his pocket and start paying his way!

AnneNonimous Fri 01-Feb-13 12:45:34

He's not taking advantage 'a bit'. He's taking the full blown piss. Deal with it ASAP.

MolehillAlchemy Fri 01-Feb-13 12:45:54

Putting sirloin steak in a casserole is very unreasonable!

QueenNothing Fri 01-Feb-13 12:45:56

Known him about a year

fedupwithdeployment Fri 01-Feb-13 12:46:13

In answer to your original question - no, he isn't taking advantage "a bit". He is taking the absolute biscuit.

What are his good qualities? I would be showing him the door (plus possibly an invoice for rent / food).

manicbmc Fri 01-Feb-13 12:46:31

Kick him out. Who the hell uses sirloin steak in a casserole for a start?

His actions imply that he must have the best, whereas you can have the cheapest and if you were to move in with him, you just know it would be his name on the mortgage and you would have no financial stability.

I wouldn't care if he was saving up to find a cure for cancer, he's not paying his way at all and is a total cock lodger.

Birdsgottafly Fri 01-Feb-13 12:48:28

Yes, he is taking the piss.

Do you get the single discount rate on your council tax? because now you shouldn't be, which means we are all subsidising him.

VinegarTits Fri 01-Feb-13 12:49:32

Yes he is taking the Michael, and its not just food he should be contributing to, i assume he takes showers? uses your washing machine, watches your TV etc...

buck up or fuck off would be my mantra to him

Hegsy Fri 01-Feb-13 12:50:02

Yup cock lodger.....wouldn't be surprised if buying a house 'fell through'. Get. Rid!

Sugarice Fri 01-Feb-13 12:51:06

Hoping to buy a house is he?, are you part of his future plans?

kalidanger Fri 01-Feb-13 12:51:28

You know you're not BU and so do we! shock[flamingtorches]

Had a proper sit down and look at your budget so he can contrubute fairly? I assume that's what you'd both do before you moved in together and if it's his house hbut he'd want a contribution to the mortgage? hmm

For the avoidance of any doubt; this man is a cocklodger.

WorraLiberty Fri 01-Feb-13 12:51:52

Do you know much about his past relationships?

I'm just wondering if he does this to all his girlfriends until they find out the 'new house' thing is all bollocks.

<< Cynical >>

ENormaSnob Fri 01-Feb-13 12:53:04

My god, are you nuts?

He is a scrounging cunt. Get rid.

expatinscotland Fri 01-Feb-13 12:54:25

Good grief!

He's a moocher.

Kick him out today! NO 'I'll change' or ultimatums.

As it is, you've been very foolish to allow this sponge to get his feet under your table.

But now you have, and you see what he's like, you need to DUMP today!

If he has £20K, he can afford to put up in a cheap hotel till he gets his own flat.

doctorhamster Fri 01-Feb-13 12:56:39

He's completely taking the piss. He should be paying half of everything and you need to tell him so. Sit down with all your bills and tell him to set up a monthly direct debit into your account.

When it comes to grocery shopping, take it in turns to pay.

Sunnywithshowers Fri 01-Feb-13 13:03:44

Cocklodger. Bin him.

FryOneFatManic Fri 01-Feb-13 13:07:30

I agree, dump him.

expatinscotland Fri 01-Feb-13 13:13:19

And don't be nice about it!

Pack his shit in bin bags, cheapest you can find, put them outside and change your locks.

A note: You are a cheap user. Goodbye.

NatashaBee Fri 01-Feb-13 13:16:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plummyjam Fri 01-Feb-13 13:22:53

Sounds like a dosser who is definitely taking advantage. I would expect long-term prognosis for this relationship to be poor. Sorry.

OTTMummA Fri 01-Feb-13 13:23:19

You are in a very fortunate position of not having any ties with this man, no children, no mortgage etc, just pack his stuff and tell him to fuck off.

He has buttered you up for nearly a year and is going back on his word within a month, lesson learned i think, get rid or he will suck you dry.

kalidanger Fri 01-Feb-13 13:26:04

Cocklodging is kind of a weird one. On one hand don't most people enjoy being generous and the (selfish grin ) pleasure you get from doing things for people. Mmmm, warm glow, aren't we all having a lovely time at mine and I cooked and it's all clean etc.

But then the recipient steps over some invisible line and the generous one is suddenly left not being generous at all but being a cash-cow with mug stamped on their face. It's fucking shocking to realise it, I've been there.

It's a dumpable offense, OP.

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