Advanced search

To think some people have no boundaries in what they say to their colleagues?

(8 Posts)
MrsKeithRichards Fri 01-Feb-13 08:25:59

I struggle with challenging people in real life in some settings.

Alittlestranger Fri 01-Feb-13 08:22:06

It's not about establishing boundaries, it's about not being a dick. If someone is racist or homophobic I think a lack of "boundaries" is the least of their worries.

Although you're kidding yourself if you think people weren't openly prejudice in the past.

redexpat Fri 01-Feb-13 07:53:37

Blimey you should hear the drivel my mother comes out with. I usually end up reaching for the wine

Noren Fri 01-Feb-13 07:41:05

Where I work has policies against racism and homophobia, so I feel empowered to speak up even more than I would anyway. People who haven't learned better, need to.

Snowsquonk Fri 01-Feb-13 07:34:26

There is nothing wrong in building and maintaining your own boundaries. A woman I work with taught me this phrase:

"I'm sorry - I find comments like that offensive......but to be fair to you, you weren't to know that."

It stops unpleasant "jokes" or comments in their tracks - there is no comeback available - you've stated your POV in an assertive but not aggressive manner. If they continue to see how you then react you can calmly say "I've just told you/already told you that I find comments like that offensive".

yes people have the right to free speech but you also have the right to say you find their comments offensive

KC225 Fri 01-Feb-13 00:59:16

I think the whole texting/twitter/facebook world has allowed certain people to become a little more unfiltered. But I think there have always been people who talk before they think. I remember my mum telling me of an embarrassing relative who died before I was born - making comments like 'There's a fat bird she'll know where bakers is' and telling another relative 'it was a good her child was bright because you need something to fall back on when you're ugly'

CheCazzo Thu 31-Jan-13 23:13:55

I suppose that's one of the by products of a society where freedom of speech is a basic and given right. Obviously you don't have to like what people say but you have to defend their right to say it

Sneezingwakesthebaby Thu 31-Jan-13 23:11:16

ExP (dd's dad) was telling me about a colleague of his suggesting some parenting tips about raising dd. The most recent tip was "get her into lads as soon as possible. You don't want her lezzing off".

When I worked in a care home, a colleague i had met about 2 days before was ranting randomly about mixed race couples and said it was "fucking disgusting" for a black man and a white woman to be together.

When I was at uni (so not quite colleagues I guess), a girl was at the flat seeing my flatmate (first time id met her) and Christopher Biggins was on telly hugging his bf/husband when he left the jungle. She made a sicky noise and said that it was disgusting and "people like that" shouldn't be allowed on telly. When pressed she confirmed she meant gay people.

Am I being unreasonable to think people don't have boundaries anymore with what they say to people they barely know?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now