Hi I was just wanting others opinions really... I am 15 weeks pregnant and my mother in law has already decided she wants the baby to call her mim! I have never heard of this n feel it sounds too much like mum! She is quite inteferring anyway tbh so i wouldn't b surprised if she had said mum lol! She has firmly dismissed all traditional names. I am thinking of tellin her i feel really uncomfortable with it but aibu??
I would start off by calling her GrandMim... which almost certainly will end up shortened to something like "Grim"
My grandad was always called by the name my dsis, his first dgc said. All the dgc from her down to my youngest one, 22 years younger than her did.
My dc have a great grandmother who when we asked what she wanted to be called said "Great <first name>" It's since been abreviated to "G'<first name>" and we all love it. Our dc's youngest aunt didn't want to be called Great Aunt, so she abreviates it to "Gah"-short for "Great Aunt Hazel", like the Fossil children in Ballet shoes.
So if your mil doesn't want a "granny" name, then I'm sure you can find something that isn't too close to Mummy.
My DGD has 3 sets of Grand Parents, all the GFs are called Grandad (I think) but the GMs are known as Nannar, Grandma and Granny. We all chose what we would like to be called (I am Granny, as this is what I called my GM). I have no doubt we will all be called whatever my DGD wants to call us.
Mim is a bit shite, it isnt even short for anything is it?
let her have a shite name if she wants, jsut prefix it with nanny or granny when you refer to her
My dsis has a really pretentious mil - insists on Yaya - apparently she has a Spanish 3rd cousin twice removed so thinks that makes her Spanish!
FIL was convinced all the grandchildren would call him Bardie (shortened version of part of his name). They all call him Grampsie as started by GC1 10 years ago and Bardie has never surfaced.
They all do what they want regardless.
Thanks guys! I think best course of action is to make her aware (which I already think she is) that I dont particularly like it. I wont go on about it tho, just drop the odd comment in about bday cards, xmas cards etc etc
And by the time little one is starting to mutter anything I will make sure (out of her earshot) we refer to her as granny, grandma or whatever else comes to mind ;)
The only Mim Grandmother I know was a Miriam.
I agree that Dcs say their own things. I have a friend whose MIL is 'Sue', nicknamed 'Sukie'. She insisted that she be called 'Nanny Sukie'.
Of course the little ones called her (in innocence) 'nanny sucky' and it has stuck.
OP, do what my sister did when her MIL wanted to be called 'MomMom' <vom> - she just kept referring to her as Granny to the baby, and when MIL got annoyed, she said she kept forgetting to say MomMom as everyone else is called some variant on Gran, so it was an unconscious thing, etc., etc. The one time her MIL was really nasty about it, my sister yelled back "For god's sake, woman, do you not think I have enough on my plate without having to remember some stupid name you've made up for yourself? Give me a break!". Perhaps not ideal, but she was Gran from then on and still is
Just keep calling her Grandma or whatever and pretend you keep forgetting the Mim nonsense.
Don't sweat on the little stuff, it's a distraction and I don't think this is really worth a great deal more than a shrug, maybe an eye roll at a push.
I've got the same thing going on with my dad at the minute, he wants to be called Taid (welsh) and frankly I think it's a bit naff (like picking your own nickname) but DD will call him whatever she's taught, much the same as whatever we teach her to call a post box, a ball or dog muck.
May be worth mentioning in passing that all cards etc say nan, nana, grandma etc, as do a lot of keepsake type gifts, my dc call their grandads 'gramps' and 'pops' and ds does ask why we get a grandad card for pop, if that makes sense??
A very minor thing, but you would never find a card with mim on it!
My friend down south calls her Granny Glam-mar because she is glam!
I asked my Mum and MIL what they wanted to be called. MIL became Nana (which I loathe but she loved, and meh, her call) but my Mum didn't want anything that made her sound old, bless. We settled on Granny Liz (which she didn't much like) and over time the children changed it to Grizzly. It has stuck, she almost likes it now.
I guess the moral is: be careful what you wish for.
As an aside I have female friends who refer to their lady bits as Mims, so maybe that could be worth mentioning?
I think Grandparents should have a say in what they want to be called, but ultimately the children will choose (if you let them, nay, encourage them!)
Let the baby decide. A little girl I know in her early attempts to say 'Grandma' said 'Gaga' and it stuck.
My MIL decided on "Nanna" before DS was born and made a massive fuss about it. I couldn't give a stuff, but then one of DS's first words was "nana" meaning banana, so she got called "Nanna banana" for a while until she got a bit upset about it But even now DS gets confused between "Nanna" and "banana" and MIL looks a bit of a twat for insisting on the name.
So my advice would be let her cause herself her own hassle - if she insists on "Mim" then let her teach it and bear the consequences! Chances are your DC will just be a bit confused and end up not calling her anything or coming up with something else.
It's not as bad as the poster whose mother wanted GC to call her groin murder!
Years ago when my older sibling's DCs were born, my DM chose the name 'Grammie', which is quite sweet. Our DC also have a Nonni and a Grandma.
One of my dear friend's DD ended up calling her granmother 'Honey' - she'd cottoned on to what the grandfather called his wife! 12 or 13 years and many more grandchildren later, it's firmly stuck.
Your title made me chuckle Op because I immediately started singing the 'Mad madam Mim!' song from the Disney sword in the stone film - watch it and everytime you will call to mind a dumpy, frazzled, crazy, old witch that turns herself into a dragon- I don't think that is a loving and flattering description of anyone, let alone someone as important as a nana.
While I don't think yabu, particularly as you have more insight into her motives, I wouldn't worry. I agree with pps call her your preferred name when you are talking about her, your dc will soon have chosen for both of you anyway. Pick your battles - start practicing now, be firm but polite, set your boundaries and stick to them. Good fences make good neighbours works just as well as good boundaries make for smoother relationships - don't say nothing but be miffed and seethe about it, it uses your energy and doesn't alter the slightly pushy behaviour at all. Congratulations, look forward to the lovely things to come - you can't always tell what changes will occur anyway when the baby actually arrives. The cure here for our silly nana with pregnancy induced 'everything' crisis was the baby.
I think Nana sounds ancient. I hate it! When I knew I was going to be a grandmother I thought I was far too young to be one. I thought up all kinds of names to try to prevent the dreaded gran word. I was actually quite creative - to the point of being ridiculous. What, you may ask, did I end up with?
I'm called Granny. I suppose when they get older they may adapt it to Gran.
Once grandchildren are actually here, in my opinion anyway, they can call you whatever the like and you think it's wonderful.
My MIL decided the name she wanted to be called. Then the DGC decided what totally different name to call her. She has 3 sets of DGC they all call her something different. I don't think she minds at all. She's just thrilled at being a GM.
I think she was just super excited with the first grandchild she kind of forgot what it is like to have a young child and came up with lots of silly suggestions about different things. She's great though, it all comes from a good place.
My mil insisted on Nana because it is aparently young
I don't get her reasoning, at all! Not least because I get a mental picture of that sodding "Knitted By Nanas" advert in which is it fair to say none of the Nanas in question were exactly spring chickens.
I don't really understand all these grandmothers who insist on being weirdly labelled. I'm a Nanny and proud of it.
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