to let my 16mo old walk around sainsburys with me?(283 Posts)
Only needed 2 things and ds recently loves walking everywhere so thought he'd enjoy wandering about with me in the veg aisle. He was indeed overjoyed at getting freedom from the trolley, but by the horrified looks more than one person gave me you'd have thought I was giving him knives to carry around!
Even though he was at the top of the aisle while I was in the middle at one point, of course I had a constant eye on him. However one particular older lady just kept looking between him and me with an obvious disapproval. So WIBU?
My 'evidence' is that none of my dc's have ever been involved in a crash/collision/supermarket demolition derby, there fore what ever I am doing as a parent is working perfectly well. We are not obviously annoying shoppers - we don't get tuts and looks and huffs and complaints when we go shopping, the opposite actually.
Agree with Naturalbaby, a majority in agreement does not make what they're agreeing about, right!
How am I adapting the script? Some posters do seem
Intent on being offended, shocked, outraged about every day life. It is a totally disproportionate response to the OP's decision to let her child walk very near her in a shop. What is the big deal? I have never once seen a toddler mowed down by a trolley. Most normal people go around assessing the risk of an activity for their child based on the likelihood of something resulting in a problem. In weighing up that risk people are likely to include in their decision making process a consideration of whether they have witnessed an unsafe outcome with that activity before. if they have not they will probably let their child partake in that activity. Personally I have never seen a toddler mowed down in a supermarket and seeing as I am right next to my toddler and 5 year old when I let them pull the trolley basket thing I don't think it is unsafe.
But if you have evidence that something you are doing is obviously annoying the majority of other shoppers in the supermarket would you not just stop doing it?
The majority of posters in agreement about wandering toddlers aren't necessarily right, just because they are in the majority.
Goldenbear I have not 'assered that everyone is in agreement' with me. I have stated, correctly, that the majority of posters on this thread are in agreement 'with each other' regarding the issue of toddlers wandering around an aisle.
And people who happen to disagree with the minority of posters on here are not 'bursting at the seams with indignation'.
It is very hard to take your posts seriously when you seem to adapt the script to suit your arguments.
Dd nearly got flattened by a trolley pushed by an old man while she was hovering at checkout. No way would I let a 16 mo that far from grasp.
So if nobody agrees that it is unreasonable to let toddlers run all over the supermarket, why are we arguing?
Everyone's version of how far is too far is slightly different based on a million and one variables, but if you are too far to rush in and prevent glass jars smashing to the floor/a trolley smashing into your dc then that's obviously too far. Shoppers without a small toddler in tow will perceive
any the distance to be too far when a mother who can sprint like Usain Bolt will be confident to let their little angel toddle an extra couple of feet.
I'm split, YANBU to let him walk around the shop with you but I think YABU to let him be that far away from you so other people would have to keep watch of him while there pushing their trollys and make sure he doesn't walk in front of them
Atthewellies, I never, ever said that toddlers should run around supermarkets- please provide a quote to back this up? You keep asserting that everyone is in agreement with you, are they? I think you'll find a sizeable minority are not and if that's the case you'll have to accept some people think differently to you I'm afraid!
No I didn't make the quote up. It is a very fitting quote for those bursting at the seams with indignation on this thread- ring any bells?
Am now left wondering whether the time my toddler lay on his belly whilst clinging to the front of the trolley as I swept (literally) along was better or worse. He wasn't in the way and polished the floor nicely but did attract the off glance.
No I haven't Goldenbear. Did you just make that up? And by the way, it is the greater majority of posters who find toddlers running around the aisles of supermarkets annoying. Can you not just accept that, instead of stubbornly insisting that you're right and the majority are wrong?
Natural, I haven't implied that I think you lack in common sense. I actually think what you're saying is fine in the most part.
But I think the OP was unreasonable to let a child that age be that far away from her.
Ever heard that expression, 'tolerance only for those who agree with you is no tolerance at all.'
When trying to decide if something is, on the whole, a reasonable thing for me to do, or to allow my kids to do, or not - i tend to remember something my dad used to say:
Imagine if everyone did it.
It's a simple thing, but he was right really and it's a pretty good rule of thumb.
Yes, one toddler toddling around miles away from their parents is livable with on the average shopping trip. But that's only because it is just that one. The parents of that one are enjoying the luxury of everyone else having the social awareness to keep their very young children close by or in the trolly, knowing that otherwise it would be chaos!
No one's commanding people how to parent their children. They are explaining to the OP why she was getting annoyed looks from other shoppers, because she asked AIBU. People are perfectly entitled to express their views on children's behaviour if that behaviour impacts on them.
I'm not commanding anyone to do anything, let alone how to parent their own children.
I think its up to other people to decide if you've addressed it Natural, rather than commanding people to agree that you have.
No one is saying that toddlers should be expected to have free rein of the supermarket either, if we want them to run around exploring then we'd rather take them to the park/soft play/toddler group.
It is inconvenient and annoying - when was the last time you tried to do a food shop with a toddler?! I let my toddler walk because I intervene when necessary, and guess what, I use my common sense. As I said above, I've never allowed any of my dc's to cause so much havoc in a supermarket that they've had a collision with a trolley or any other shoppers. I'm insisting it's o.k to do because I am not one of the parents who ignores my dc's screaming and running up and down the aisles getting in everyone's way. There is a middle ground which applies to most parents.
Enough with the grumpy word, I've already addressed that.
No one is saying toddlers shouldn't be allowed walk around supermarkets natural they are saying they shouldn't be allowed wander half way down the aisle on their own given that, in a supermarket, people are pushing trollies full of groceries - which can be hard enough to steer at the best of times, never mind having to keep an eye out for stray toddlers darting around.
It's simple common sense. However, despite the fact that the vast majority of posters on here have said they find it annoying, inconvenient and dangerous to have toddlers roaming around several yards away from their parent you and a couple of others are still insisting it is okay to do it and everyone else is just 'grumpy'.
Ever heard that expression 'everyone's out of step except me'?
or might imply that quite a few people think that it is far more dangerous to toddle in a supermarket than it actually is.
Grumpy is obviously an offensive word to some of you, I'll refrain from using it if it causes so much upset.
We are not the parents who let their dc's ride scooters or race up and down the aisles, we intervene when our toddlers get in the way or try to pull something over, while expecting other shoppers to tolerate our dc's because they are so darn cute.
If you have such big issues with wayward kids in the supermarket then take it up with the kids or negligent parents.
You've insinuated that the lady was grumpy. Just because she gave apparently disapproving looks does not make her grumpy.
OP also states that a number of people gave her these looks, which might imply that quite a few people thought she was being unreasonable to let her 16 month old go quite so far from her.
The OP's point was about one particular old lady... there's no need to take everything so personally if you're not a grumpy old lady.
It is not safe for a small toddler to be walking around a supermarket like that. I don't think it's great for them to be holding your hand, they are far better off up in a trolley. People are paying attention to the shelves and thinking about what they need - they often enough stuff in their trolley not to be able to see someone that small or swinging a basket about - your child is one distracted thought away from a nasty accident.
But do as you please, you don't seem to think YABU.
I have a 17 month old and can imagine the mayhem she'd cause in the supermarket. YABU.
Now I'm going to worry about knocking a toddler unconscious while trying to get the shopping done asap...
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