... to be tired of the Goady Fuckers?(371 Posts)
Is it just me or has there been an increase in goady thread derailing in the last couple of weeks? It seems even the most innocuous of threads are being deliberately diverted by posters who only post offensive or ridiculous comments then refuse to back down.
Here's what I use MN for:
Activism and feminism
Not to have arguments with Goady Fuckers who are sitting at home delighted to have got us all off topic.
A lot of threads I've been on in the past few days have been taken completely off topic or detailed. Have we been invaded MNHQ or is it the work of a couple of
Who wants to join me in an Anti Goady Fucker Campaign?
I vote that when someone tries to derail a thread that we all ignore and do a mass report to MNHQ. They are fed up hearing from me in the past weeks.
You're right, MmeLindor. Bugger. I can't resurrect that thread now because that would make me look like a GF.
Oh, I jump in all the time and support posters - not always welcomed and needed but <shrug>
Sometimes a comment from a non involved poster can be helpful, even if it is just a 'Woah. That was quite rude'.
Good reason for keeping quiet LtEve.
I'm still feeling smug about the woman who accused me of pushing in at Sainsbury's on Saturday only for the assistant to say in front of everyone: 'Oh, no. She was definitely next.'
I was, actually.
Limited, I've done that too, and surprised myself as the poster I 'stood up for' was actually someone I didn't really like that much - But sometimes when people are being nasty just for the sake of it I think it is 'right' to get involved.
(Mind you I got it very wrong in a step-parenting thread where I thought the posters were being really unecessarily harsh to the OP, it was quite , especially from people that I thought I understood. What I didn't know was that there was a huuuuuge backstory and the OP was recognised from posting lots and lots of similar threads, which was why she was getting the reception she was )
That wasn't meant to be arsey, btw.
<how would you know? Mwha ha ha>
I'd be ace as an HQer, I'd be sitting there fascinated by everyone's secret name change threads and oblivious to the blood being shed as a thread full of people fight to the death over under-floor heating.
It just makes me laugh sometimes when we all think we know more about the troll than HQ do. I do report if I see something I think is off but I always imagine my report of "erm I'm not sure but something seems a bit weird about this" being met with eye rolls and "No shit. Don't give up the day job Nancy Drew"
MmeLindor the campaigns were mentioned on a different thread, not this one. It made me think, that's all. I don't think it's that common but I wouldn't be surprised at the lengths some people will go to and I think some of them will take the risk of being banned - that's if they even think that far.
I certainly don't think MNHQ should do what I say. But the provocation was obvious - you didn't need special powers to see it. An 'ahem' was all that was needed. I've seen it done elsewhere where one poster is playing another poster, not the post, as they say.
I felt like posting in X's defence, but didn't feel I could. I'd been lurking because it was a subject I was interested in but one on which I didn't have anything brilliant to contribute. If I'd have posted telling the attacker off out of the blue it might have looked like X had got her mates together. That was why I reported like a good girl. What happened or didn't happen next was not my decision.
That was a particular case, which I raised because it interested me and struck me as an example of derailing or general Goady Fuckery. I'm not Mystery X's mate btw and she doesn't need me to stand up for her . I just don't like spite when I see it and like I said, it was pretty obvious.
If I worked at MNHQ I would spend the first week trying to find out who I am. I've had so many usernames I need a right good defragging.
Haha, I do like my passive aggressive smiley face, so I COULD BE. <dramatic music>
I would spend the first week searching poster profiles and saying OMG GETORF IS ACTUALLY SCOTTISHMUMMY AND BONSOIR* across the office, as everyone just nodded sadly.
*disclaimer - I have no actual evidence for this claim, and since Getorf rarely posts in couthy Haikus, I presume it is not true... but you never know!
Can you imagine any of us lot with a job at MNHQ.
We would be really GOOD wouldn't we. No trigger happy deletions. Oh no.
Anyone new they interview - the first question must be 'are you a MNer' and if they say yes they show them the door.
I don't think there are lots of goaders hoping to get someone banned - it is a fine line to tread and just as likely to get the goader banned as the other poster.
I know that MNHQ don't always do what we would like them to do, but as Randall commented earlier, they do have a very difficult job and have access to information that we don't have.
I realise I've come over all Enid Blyton with my talk of 'backs up' and 'decent people'.
But GFs get me like that. Bastard rum coves.
I want to tell people not to reply to GFs and just to hit Report, especially on FWR, which I lurk on. But that would make me even more priggishly head girlish.
I reported one where a poster kept making provocative comments to another poster who had different views. There were other people who shared the opposing views but they were left alone.
The Goader was also replying to other posters as in: 'you might say that but X will be along to disgree in a moment'.
To me, it was obvious it was personal. The GF could have just stated her case without the comments.
X was really restrained because it was nasty provocation. Without naming names she's the kind of poster who has strong views and gets people's backs up. I don't agree with her all the time but then I'd just say so or ignore her. I wouldn't be childish about it.
I was surprised to read that some GFs campaign against some posters to get them deleted or banned. I'm naive like that. Now I think that could well have been happening on that thread.
I asked MNHQ for an 'Ahem' to keep the debate civilised but not to delete the GF's posts because any decent person should see how petty they were.
MNHQ obviously didn't agree because they did nothing. I expect I was just imagining it
Interesting points, and yes I think I agree. It was just that I saw the posts just after reading this thread and thought "a-hA! Goady" but I think you're right, it was more insensitive fuckwittery, IMO.
yy - I agree Pagwatch
The MRA type goady fucker would go off on a tangent about how men are abused too, and how maybe the OP's DH had a previous relationship where he was abused or his mother hated him. Some women are not good mothers and hate their children...
Generally a GF doesn't use a personal attack - it is more a general <throw a bomb into the conversation> attack which will get the backs of everyone on the thread up.
Like going onto a BF/FF thread and stating that anyone who FFs their baby should be charged with child abuse.
Perhaps people are not being goady fuckers, but just common or garden fuckers.
And there's not much we can do about those.
That is a good point - I have seen posts by people who I KNOW are really decent and caring but if I hadn't known them I would have reported them or said something on the thread. Particularly when someone is not posting about an issue for the first time and has ignored all advice and support in the past.
A newbie would not see that, she'd just think, 'Jeez, that Mme is a nasty piece of work'.
Difficult to say without knowing the exact details of what was being discussed, and if there was a history between the posters (see Randall's point).
Generally I would always err on the side of caution when it comes to victim blaming - I have done enough research and spoken to enough women who were victims of DV to know that many women find it difficult to recognise abuse and leave their partners.
I can't think of any reason for telling a woman who is clearly asking for help that she is part of the problem.
What I don't get in this kind of situation is what the poster hopes to achieve? Does she think that the OP will suddenly realise all she is doing wrong and LTB? And would that not be more likely to be achieved by softly softly approach and encouraging the OP to see the truth about her partner?
Is it goading? It is difficult to tell because we don't know the motives of the poster, but definitely worth reporting to MNHQ so that they can remind the poster of the We Believe You campaign, and that domestic abuse situations are more complex that a simple LTB would have us believe.
I can't speak for mmelinor but I wouldn't class that one post as a goady fucker.
I would report it and it is horrible, but not trollish/goady
Trollish/goady would be 'well I know others will tell you x. You just want to hear what you want. There are previous incidents like this. I guess some of you don't care about your children. I'm off to start a thread about how some of you don't like children. Why do you let people abuse your children I note that on here a lot ..' ad nauseum. Plus new thread about child hating mners. Etc etc
I know the type of post you're talking about Beatie, and this wasn't one of them. It was definitely a "you sound like a bitch, you should look at your contribution to the problems in your marriage" type of post.
I did, Trampy, just to be on the safe side. But I'd still like MmeL's take on it.
Horribly insensitive, not GF, would be my guess.
I've been on threads started by women who are facing domestic violence and are reticent about leaving her partner where a particular poster has become angry with the woman facing the violence and talked a lot about the damage she is doing to her children by not leaving. Insensitive, I'd say, but it was clearly the consequence of some awfully difficult times she had as a child when her own mother was living with violence. She was simply stating her view, and it was a "victim-blaming" one, but it was sincerely held and deserving of audience and sympathy. The problem was that she was expressing it on threads where a vulnerable woman needed support. I think that in her view what she was saying was supportive, in a tough love kind of a way. But to others it seemed very disruptive. You can't fairly make hostile labels to cover that kind of case.
(I'm not talking about any recent thread btw -- I didn't see the thread that was being discussed here this morning. I'm talking about very old threads)
Thumbwitch, I would report tbh, just togive MNHQ a heads up.
Good point Randall.
MmeL - I wonder if you can answer me this one then - if someone posts something about theiry heinous relationship and how shit it is, and then a poster comes on and tells them in no uncertain terms that in fact they should look at themselves and how much of it is their fault ("victim" blaming) - then do they qualify as goady fuckers? Regardless of posting history? Or are they just being horribly insensitive?
I'd like to be clear
so I don't overuse my newly-energised reporting finger
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.