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To ask what SAHM,s with kids at school do with their days?

(454 Posts)
totallyfrazzled Tue 29-Jan-13 22:53:34

I am mainly a SAHM but both my children are now school age. I do work PT, but as I work freelance my work days are erratics so I often find myself being a SAHM for a full week. Despite the fact that I do work, albeit slightly randomly, I find that I cannot give myself credit for the multiple tasks that I perform in anyone day at home....getting the DC's dressed and ready for school, driving them to school, clearing up the breakfast chaos, making the beds, doing the shopping, blah blah blah, preparing the evening meal, collecting the DC's, getting thru the homework, etc etc etc. i seem to be able to fill a whole day with domestic drudgery and still I am treading water, i.e. I am keeping everything at a status quo rather than actually achieving anything. I feel duty bound to keep on with domestic duties whilst not actually in renumerative employ. I feel guilty doing otherwise.Wondering if any one anyone else is in the same boat?

Rowgtfc72 Mon 04-Feb-13 22:05:46

I went back to work six years ago when dd was six months old. I have always worked. DHs shifts have now changed and in four weeks I will have to leave work as we cant both have a six o clock starts and as Im already part time my employer is no way going to be flexible to work round this. Weve looked into anything that fits round his shifts and no/minimal childcare with no luck. Im dreading being a SAHM and a skint one at that. I was climbing the wall after six weeks with baby DD !

morethanpotatoprints Mon 04-Feb-13 22:14:54


Really sorry to hear about your employment predicament. It may seem harder for you because being a sahm isn't by choice but you never know you may thrive.
Firstly it doesn't cost any money to get out and about with your dc, and making sure you get out is important. If you are not the mother and baby group type it doesn't matter, I wasn't either. I think it is important to have a break from kids and also to make sure you have time for you. I don't mean a bath, I mean personal to you, something you enjoy doing. I hope it works well for you, or that you find suitable work if this is possible.

analogue Tue 05-Feb-13 13:03:48

Wow what an interesting thread. It has taken me days to get through it, even though I am a stay at home mum, I also do lots of freelance work and am always busy. Bored just isn't in my vocabulary - I don't have enough hours in the day as it is and I don't work full time! We are also doing up a house and as it is a dump, it is never clean! I actually hold off cleaning now because I found I could do it all day every day and nobody ever noticed. We all notice the money from freelancing instead of cleaning, so I focus on that.

The reason I stay at home and run my own business (apart from the fact that I want to and love it) is that after childcare, I would be working for free or a few quid a month. I would much rather we lived a little more frugally than put my son in full time care for £150 per month net. I can make a full time wage from part time work by staying at home and many families with one high earner and one mediocre earner are in that position. Some of us can't afford to go to work - the price is too high in many ways.

Everyone is doing the best they can in their own circumstances and I think others look down on us and make us feel guilty no matter what choices we make. The answer is just to not give a flying fuck what anyone thinks and enjoy living your life.

JugglingFromHereToThere Tue 05-Feb-13 13:26:15

Thanks for that last line analogue - you made me smile smile

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